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"Angels can't be black, stupid" she said to me
And she said it so matter-of-factly
To the eight year old boy with a figurine
That his mother gave him, looking so kindly
And I didn't know of her words nonsensicle
But everywhere I looked, in books, store windows and tv specials
I saw that angels in serenity with floating halos
And all of them were white

So I was down, not surprisingly
Because think of how mad or sad you'd be
To find Heaven's hosts had no minorities
And that an angel could not be made of me
And angrier I became as on tears I choke
To be the **** of that little girl's joke
And to find all the words my mother spoke
Might be only lies and fairy tales

And with my head planted on my desk
The angel next to me did rest
As my teacher saw my distress
And question my obvious bitterness
I shrugged her off and her query grew
"Nik Bland, what in the world's eating you?"
And I told her what that girl and the whole world knew
About the fable of my figurine

And she listened to my childlike woes
As tears streamed down, sobs did grow
And she nodded as I said I did not know
A single place in the bible where minorities showed
A trace and she went up to the class
And spoke that, scientifically, in the past
It's been shown that the brown skinned and blacks
Were the colors of the first of the human race

So that sparked a fire within my mind
To realize that if humankind
Found a way to travel back in time
They might be seeing an ethnic Adam and Eve
And she showed me on the map the Middle East
And my heart rate slightly increased
To see it held Israel and Bethlehem, doubts then ceased
As I saw the mixed skin color of their people

And as the class pondered this, she came to me
And told me very quietly
Of her and her Christianity
And of Jesus, whose chose his mixed coloring
And with tears in her eyes, she put that angel in my hands
And to me that I must understand
That God looks past the color of the man
For He painted us all

And Christian or not, you must admittedly
Say that the world is a piece of artistry
That is incomparable to any man has in the making
And that we are all living here equally
And show we pass on, some soon than most
But with belief in Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
That eight year old boy could proudly boast
About the angel, so serene... and black
I think
I may have fallen
for an everyman
the one who everyone
can't help but like
and my insecurities
make me ask
do I have a chance
of being the reason
he becomes
my onlyman
these ruffled sheets don't feel like mine .
not quite the smell of my laundry scents either ,
but familiar , like the body pressed against me hours before .
and now again

I was afraid of opening my eyes until I heard his voice
The same soft whisper that came from behind ,
the whisper that drowned out all the other voices in that busy pool hall

I was down by two ***** ,
I was stripes he was solid
it was my game but that he didn't know .

I had been kicked out ,
they called me orphaned , homeless
but that he didn't know , or so I thought
until he whispered against my neck
"if you win I'll take you home"

so we played
I played the way my brother had taught me
learning him as I go , to have him against me
from behind , his rough hands over mine .
I could barely see my fingers , as he guided them
under and over the stick , until we sank a perfect shot .
And I did end up winning , but only because I played it well ,
a hustler they called me , but that he didn't know

He took me home and we laid together ,
the game was over when the eight ball fell in .
Now we both knew how this would go
and go it went until I came over and over again
and he touched upon me again and again
until he came as I did
and we fell to rest
our breathing still synced together
as the rise and fall


and I opened my eyes
this time to the whisper of
a sleepy "hey beautiful"
and those hands gently through my hair

this may not be my bed
but this is my place .
He knows me now
I don't believe in pretty poems
(for) pretty verses lie
Love is more than the pretty words
The best of lovers write

I don't believe in pretty poems
They're merely works of art
Let poets spin their painless stories
I'd rather spill my heart

I don't believe in pretty poems
They're fiction- nothing more
In pretty poems, we'll never find
The love we're looking for.

(January 28, 2009)
"Mommy, where's my teddy bear?"

Upstairs
             walk slowly
                                  skip 1, 2
                                                   fly

Under the covers, tight-
-wrapped and safe. They start
to cling to my breath and lungs.
My baby hands curl
over Teddy's eyes.

*Go to sleep, little bear.
© Nicola-Isobel H.          17.04.2012
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