I keep telling myself I don't Love
I try to tell myself I don't care
Because the last time I tried, It hurt like hell
I feel like you don't love me, or love means
different things to everyone
But my idea of love is eternal, faithful,
caring and true, and I haven't found that in you
This just leaves me with a sour taste
A confusing waste of time,
Never knowing what truly means to be loved
I guess even when you say so, it feels like a lie
To me love is an action, a verb,
Not a word you throw out when you're bored
It feels like love doesn't exist anymore

You never told me your wish
so I do wonder
if I am making it come true

scavenge for your sweet hands
pin them, bite the freckles
off

I do not just want you
inside of me
I want to digest you and

be
what you want.

The blonde rain
little daisies from angels say
you love me, love me not

you love me like a stone
we did not skip
but sheltered in a wooden box

with
plastic holes as skylights.

I thought I could hold onto you,
That the emptied hallways
Of my mind
Would be perfectly,
Deeply
And eternally
Engraved
With every detail of
You.

But now you're fading
Faster than winter's sunset
From a frost-wearied body.

And all I can remember
Is the feeling of
Your heartbeat against my cheek
And your gentle lion's eyes.

Your pace begins to noticeably pick up,
Your breaths are becoming shorter.
You begin to coach yourself mid stride,
"Glide don't gallop, you look like Tigger for Christ's sake!"

Eventually it washes over you,
You slowly fade into a Sudden abyss of Sorts.
You're no longer running nor jogging,
Hell you're not even moving.

You're somewhere else,
Somewhere you told your mind to take You.
It might be an altered memory of a Past victory
Or perhaps a fantasy in the near future.
Where ever you are,
You're alone.
Yet you are crowded at the same exact Time.
You're in complete control,
Yet you have no idea how to enter or Exit this state.

Before you know it,
You come too.
Back into the reality of your bodies Limits.
Your joints are aching and the lactic Acid has built in your upper thighs.
Your arms have grown heavier and Heavier.

How'd I not notice all this pain before?
Where was I?
All questions foreshadowed by this:


..What the hell do I have to do to get back?