Journal Entry 1
I have not much to write today
a time in life where all's ok
I'm going to die and that's alright
I don't even care to try or fight
I've lost before the battle's done
and every victor in the sun
will forget to stop and search my corpse
to judge if I am worth remorse
because I stopped trying and took orders instead
Today's a day where I'm better off dead

Please don't try to tell me that my love is not enough
And please don't try to save me, I am too broken to touch

My shattered glass is poison to your complex hopes and dreams
When you try to comfort me, I'll place you somewhere in between

My smile drifts like butterflies looking into weary skies
You give me happy lullabies, and I give you my tired eyes

You bloom like May flowers
While I rain down like April showers

Soon enough you'll get sick of the rain
And search for something sane.

I thought you and I'd fit together like a railroad and it's train
But your sunshine-sweet weather didn't fit well with my pain

What a shame our colors couldn't blend
But Black loved every shade of Blue until the end

And while I watched blue search for hours,
He'd never find a love like ours.

this is a love poem
for the parts of yourself you despise.

how I believe you are a man
more so than any other man I have seen

because you do not bribe wasps
into not giving you a sting:
because you do not touch fragile things
rather lend little strengths and
because your sweat smells like incense
or raspberries on trees who breathe.

god, nature opens the
whole wide world but keeps me from
you

but you did not complain when
I appeared,
this red-shouldered placenta globe girl.

I love your inward feet
because you can walk faster to me
I love your pleated hips
because they have handlebars for me
I love your thunder laugh
because it means summer to me.

me, me, me

I love how you love me
and do not care when I cannot seem to
remember or believe.

this is a love poem I will never
finish writing.