-

I draped your moonbeam heart
in a misty clouded veil
and sat on the dark side
keeping all of it its light to myself

Happily I waited for the stars to take notice
as I gazed out across the ebony skies
that now stared back in an empty silence…
suddenly I felt all alone

But I had the light, this beautiful,
loving, warming and enchanting glow all to myself
How could I feel alone, I had you,
what more could I need

Then I saw you were crying but I didn’t know why…
The light became dimmer with each tear that flowed
until it was now so dark I could barely see
“Please tell me why you are so sad?”

“My darling, it is true, the light of my heart
shines brightest for you, but there are others
who need its light as well and without it
their sadness becomes my sadness”

A chill ran across my skin at a speed not previously known
My heart began to break as I realized my error…
I felt selfish and ashamed, so I quickly lifted the veil
to share her wondrous light once again

When there before my eyes a billion stars began to glow
and so did her heart, brighter than before
We were contented as the universe rejoiced
for finally I could see…the dark side all along was me

Tear drops fall
between silent lines
carrying the tune
of this weeping melody
written on my heart’s
faded sheet music

Scales cry in sharpened flats
twisting treble clef sorrows
Candelabras drip pain
on withered fingers
roaming ivory slivers bleeding
out of tune syncopation

Unheard choruses
in three quarter sadness
wasted on black and white keys
played long after
the lid was closed
on our love


Where is that sustain pedal
when you need it?

>

Another rainy morning spent staring through
a wiper smeared windshield
hoping to beat the next light, no such luck
When that song, our song or what used to be our song
sneaks in through these worn out speakers…again
and I listen…like a fool…again
  
The emptiness returns full force and I feel sick
It happens every time and every time I sound like a broken record
“Turn the **** thing off”, my mind shouts at me,
but still I am unable to hear over the singing sadness
and the sound of my heart breaking all over again,
God I’m pathetic

So here I am heading to the station earlier than usual
at least the traffic isn’t so bad, I guess because roosters can’t drive
Who schedules meetings this early in the morning?
Obviously someone unaware of the benefits of a good night’s sleep
Well look there, maybe my luck is changing, a parking spot right up front
But still, I have a feeling this is going to be a bad day

Ducking from the rain I pause at an advertisement for the rail line,
“Where the hell is the sunshine and blue skies that poster is showing?”
I think as I enter the car and find a seat, which wasn’t hard,
there are only three people on here at this hour,
two old ladies dressed for church or the doctor
and a kid with headphones, sleeping, now why didn’t I think of that?

I pull out my notebook when I see her hurrying for the already closing doors.
I jump up and hold them open so she can enter.
She is soaking wet, but ****, she is drop dead gorgeous,
dark hair and beautiful light brown eyes, she looks up and says “thank you”
with a smile that melts me right where I stand
“My pleasure” I answer as she takes the seat across from mine

She opens her ipad, I pretend to look at mine, but can’t take my eyes off of her
Now engrossed in whatever she's reading, swiping a finger across the screen  
and then that smile appears again, I can barely breathe as my
heart tries to beat its way out of my chest. Dressed in a black skirt and top,
she looks like she’s just stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine…
“Oh crap, she just caught me staring”

I quickly glance down to her ipad then back up to her gorgeous eyes.  
I feel like an idiot, or worse. When she giggles and says, “Poetry.”  
“Poetry?” I ask in a voice stuttering from embarrassment
Waving her device she replies, "I’m reading poetry, do you like poetry?”
“Umm, yes, I, uh, do like poetry.”  She pats the seat next to her and says,
“Come, sit here. Let me read you one.”

Maybe this day won’t be so bad after all…

~

A playful sun
  peeks over
   a slumbering
  horizon,
     tickling the
   dawn with
      daffodil giggles
  and flirtatious
   touches,
    awaking the
      new day
         with a smile

Just as I do
  when opening
    my eyes
     to see this
     same cheerful
   sunrise glowing
      through
   our window,
      illuminating
        my beautiful
          new day
            *that is you

Spring is not that far ahead,
yet the  sidewalks are empty
as a cold rain falls and I wander
alone, hands in my pockets,
my head hung low

Staring at the puddles,
as my reflection stares back,
between the constant ripples
and I don't recognize
the sorrowed face that I see

Winter touches everything,
dripping from awnings
of the places we used to share,
now closed and boarded up,
empty like my heart

But still I keep walking
nowhere to be,
no one who wants me,
nothing to look forward to
as hope is now frozen

Spring is not that far ahead
though I will not find it
for winter is me and my world
will forever be cold without
the warmth of your love

-

She tells me I’m lucky
And **** she is right
I count those stars
Almost every night

Thanking each one
As they glow up above
For sending this woman
And showing me love

They twinkle and glisten
So many I see
All of these lucky stars
Shining for me

She tells me I’m lucky
But she needn’t say
For that’s how I feel
In her arms everyday

.

I posted my dream
on the side of a lamp post
In hopes she would see it
as she wandered by

Taking a moment
to realize the subject
Wearing a smile
and a gleam in her eye

A beautiful dream
filled with flowers and sunshine
Wonderful moments
I just have to share

Moonlight and poems
and walks through the country
Happiness found
every time I am there

So now I wait
down the street on a corner
On my front porch
that I just painted green

Waving to neighbors
who think I am crazy
They can't believe
that I posted my dream

That's when I see you
your chocolate hair flowing
Riding your bike
that looks like it's brand new

You stop and look
then you smile my direction
The message I posted
said my dream is you

-

With merely words
strung together in hurtful fashion,
he formed a noose
tightly around her neck

She gasped for air
as evil eyes watched,
happily from twin shadows
cast by her broken heart

Thrashing legs and
pleading expressions
in the heat of this day
curved a wicked smile upon his face

Tears burned lines on her cheeks
as she desperately searched
for a way out, she was losing hope,
just about to give up

When she managed with her final ounce of energy
to reach the keyboard and hit delete,
removing his email and him forever…
Once again she could breathe

I sat there watching you and him,
wondering what has he got
that I don’t have
and then it hits me,
he has you

.

Another rainy Saturday...
I watch as it
drips from the eaves,
a rhythmic melody humming
in glistening harmonies
puddling on the lawn,
reflecting my constant thoughts
of your brilliant sunshine smile,
beautiful shade tree eyes
and your forever
blue sky love

You sneak up behind me
and putting your arms
around me say,
"Looks like another rainy Saturday"
I turn and kiss you, then reply,
"I hadn't noticed"

◇

I read a poem today...
it was based on a wonderful dream,
two people were madly in love,
holding each other tenderly as
a lemon sherbet sun rose
beyond a blooming hibiscus
being visited by a hummingbird,
bringing a soft apricot glow
through the white lace curtains
flowing on cool morning breezes
as they kiss passionately,
greeting the new day

It was an extremely beautiful poem,
one that I wish I had written, but...
more than that, I found myself
wishing that the dream
that inspired it...
had been about me

~

She reached for the ribbons of her gown
not knowing why, but she held them in her hand
as she floated through the ever changing mist,
whites and grays in a swirling pattern,
mesmerizing in blends and shifts,
blurred yet possessing a clarity she could not explain
or cared to think about right now

She looked down on herself in her bed sobbing,
clutching tightly a dampened pillow, lonely, missing…
now confused as a peaceful awareness
wrapped about her warmly,
caressing her spirit, washing away the pain,
the sadness, the torment which she fought now to remember
as it drifted below, creating new shadows about her feet
but distant, never forgotten, she couldn’t, it was promised…

Once more the satin ribbons were pulled gently, guided
as if a feather laced kite on a silver string embracing blue skies,
dancing about in the slow rhythm, spun in clouded dreams,
breathless she soars higher, it seems towards the sun
or perhaps a light of a different source, it felt soft, cool
beckoning her and she yearned for it…
for some reason it felt right

Stars swept past her in wiry glistening designs
like a sparkler at a summer cookout waved through the air
in abstract lemonade glowings and apple pie tickles  
and she smiled, for the first time in a long time as the 
moon disappeared on the horizon, embracing this experience
She continued allowing the tender tugs on her ribbons to
move her freely, when she felt something, it was a hand on
hers, helping her hold the ribbons, it felt familiar,
safe, comforting

When she saw his eyes, as clear as she had ever seen anything,
deep and friendly, soothing
just as she had remembered…remembered?
He took her by the hands and he came even more into focus
“Hi there, I have missed you,”  he sighed and she knew it was him
He was here, wherever here was, holding her now as he said,
“I promised I would love you eternally, I couldn't have you then,
so I have waited for you"    
She cried , happy tears as she whispered. “You did, you did, is this…”

“Shhh,” he placed a caring finger to her lips…
*”This is our eternity my love”

~

Off in a cabin set deep in the woods
Next to a lake where the fishing does thrive
The opposite shore is another the same
Someone is there, there’s a car in the drive

I hope they are quiet and keep to themselves
I really needed this time for so long
There is some movement, the door opens up
Wow, she is gorgeous, maybe I am wrong  

Off in a cabin set deep in the woods
Where the deer and the squirrels do roam
Across a small lake, a cabin like mine
It appears there is somebody home

A man stands ashore with his hand to his eyes
Squinting, the sun is so bright
He's looking my way, so I give him a wave
I'm glad I won't be alone here tonight

I think she is waving, yes, I’m sure she is
A nice fishing pole in her hand
I start waving back with a smile on my face
This was not part of my plan

That is a problem, I have to admit
I planned this alone, that is true
But here in the woods with a beautiful girl
And it seems that she likes fishing too

Smiling real big, he hops in his boat
Making his way to my side
"Hi there" he says, "he's so handsome" I think
"I'm going fishing, would you like a ride?"

I’d love to of course but I’ve just now arrived
“Would you like to come in for a while?
I just need to unpack and have a quick bite”
“Let me help you” he offers with a smile

I gather her bag from out of the car
And set it just inside the door
The fishing can wait, we’ve plenty of time
There’s something else now to explore

She’s wearing shorts and a light emerald T
And green Converse All-Stars that match
I never thought as I drove up today
Something this perfect I’d catch

I think he looks a bit familiar,
Is it possible that he might be
The same boy I kissed that summer
When I turned seventeen

I turn to unpack my groceries
Not over thinking things much
When the tap on my shoulder startles me
I jump in his arms, and our lips gently touch  

I really didn’t mean to frighten her
But it was so cute to hear her yelp
And her lips, I think I have felt them before
“Just wondering if I can help?”

She hasn’t let go and neither have I
I stare in her gorgeous brown eyes
And then I remember that time long ago
It’s her, I just realized

He recognizes me now, what does he think
I can feel my face start to blush
I hold onto him still, it feels good in his arms
I could leave but there's no need to rush

The chemistry is there, after all these years
I want to be alone with him here so much
He's grown tall and handsome, into a man
Now I'm dreaming of kisses and such

I never imagined I’d see her again
And definitely not in this way
But now that I have her right here in my arms
I’m thinking right here I will stay

I kiss her again and she doesn’t pull back
It’s much more than I could be wishing
It lasts for a while and that’s okay with me
Who cares if we ever go fishing?

.

The days have left,
disappeared faster than I could think
Waved goodbye from platforms high above
every dream that never came true,
each wish that remains unfulfilled
Scribbled papers scattered on an abandoned desk,
poetry written in bled out emotions
crumble and tossed…jump shots
missing the goal completely

Though memories in gilded frames,
moments forever frozen in time,
words never to be forgotten
gather warmly in my heart for
I am so fortunate and thankful to  
have had this opportunity
to know you, to love you
and to share…to share our lives

And as I bid farewell to the last chance,
that lost horizon fading
I send sincerely the confirmation,
the truth in whispered hopes
that happiness is abundant,
smiles are forever,
and though it can't be me,
you find the absolute love
you deserve…

because sadly

“I understand”

~

I gave her
  the moon,
she handed me
  the stars
    and together
  our love
    created a
      *perfect universe

~

For this of castled velvet throne
A queen does weep a single tear
Bleak shadows of this night have grown
To cast upon her heart this fear

Reflection polished marble floor
Her silhouette of humbled reach
Now shutters via nightmare’s pour
Alone of bridges fought to breach

Beyond the window valleys sleep
Soft candle flame in slumbered night
Flickering her pain felt deep
Burning through in cautioned light

An empty throne aside her heart
Its warmth now chilled of worried feel
That day her love he did depart
Read messages to long conceal

Her single kiss of cherished due
A farewell bid, pled safe return
Lost amidst this sorrowed view
And loneliness again did burn

As if the dawn had been his shield
In misty haze on moor’s harsh breath
Of forest frame it had concealed
A moment quick of arrow’s death

She takes this single tear she’s cried
Into a glass of liquid clear
This droplet of her love applied  
Her broken heart to wish him near

And brings this potion to her lips
Such bitter taste slow going down
A whispered hope in swallowed sips
To then remove her saddened crown

Upon his throne of gold now rests
She breathes one final moment pure
Her eyes now close of wishful quest
*To be with her sweet king once more