I hate this
  this I hate
   hate this, I
    and no matter how
     I try to lie
      hate is how I
        cut all my ties
          I hate it when
            I turn to side
              and see my wounds
                to never dry
                  cause no matter how
                     hard I try
                       this I hate
                          I hate this, I.

Don't great me "Happy Father's Day!"

For I am not happy,
I failed as a father,
and this is not my day.

I have made so many poems
... of joyful, youthful glow
and carved them in my memory
... a capsule of years ago.

I have dealt with so many dreams
... I've dealt with so many fire
to purify this anguished life
... consuming my wildest desire.

Perhaps one day I'll make a dream
perhaps... with you this time around
Perhaps I'll stop making poems
for YOUR poetry will now abound

I hope someday, you'll find it too
that peace your turmoil's been searching
for in the space of our lavished arms
Is where you, Kristine, will be staying.

Let me speak about my loss
One last time
In this poetry which I dedicate
To Flor.

How I now dread the day I was born
For it is when you bid farewell
For my stenched heart, now awfully scorned
Is now creeping back to its broken shell.

I am weaker now than before we met
More scared to face each passing day
I admit I've said things that I regret
Now it seems like this hurt is the only way.

I wish not of forgiveness for the both of us
I wish not of happines too
I wish not of restoration of trust
But I wish that I haven't met you.

For this, had crumbled me beyond repair
One that I can no longer take
No more pieces to build, my house in despair
This void is too much for my mistake.

I took my heart and brought it to her, she said she'll take care of it and welcomed my shattered pieces. She brought me joy every day. We walked the highways and the byways, holding each other in agreement that we will continue to trod this life together...

Then I looked at my side and she was no longer there...
I looked around and she was nowhere to be found...

I held her too tight,
Clinged too much,
And devoted too seriously...

Now,
My heart wanders
My soul searches,
My ears intently listens...

But she is gone.

Like my breath that she took with her,
Like my heartbeat that she dragged along with her,
Like my hopes that she both gave and shattered.

This is the deepest pain I've felt because for once in a very long time, I thought otherwise.

I understand all of these,
Her reasons,
Her past,
Her pain,
Her own troubled journey,
And the weight I had added to it...

I understand, but I can't accept.

I cannot accept the fact that when things go hard, people let go.

People let go.
Let go...

I'm not a nice guy because I have to be. I am a nice guy by choice.

Make no mistake
I have seen the darkness in my mind
I have searched for the monster within
I have allowed our souls to entwine
instead of trying to fight and win.

Make no mistake.
That my kindness is but a choice
My goodness is but an objection
My gentleness, my calm voice
are selected impulses, not a reaction.