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Jun 2018 · 202
This time.
Chris Balase Jun 2018
I hope next time, I will be happy
I hope next time that my destiny meets your light,
the darkness caused by the pain of the past will fade.

I hope we will not cry like this anymore.

I hope the hurt will completely change.

I hope my world will also be your world.

And I hope our every night will have no sorrow.

Because I want to prepare,
A heaven for my love,
so that when you come,
your joy will be complete.

I hope.

I hope that next time...
We will no longer shed a tear
Hoping can be as painful as believing.
Mar 2018 · 180
bottles
Chris Balase Mar 2018
Sending bottles
emptied of filth
covered with tears
surrounded by rift

washed up onshore
in another land
picked and pruned
in another woman's hands

She opens and reads
the note I wrote for you
The girl I could've loved
and the hurt you never knew.
Drinking alcohol sometimes is bad for you
Mar 2018 · 169
Once, you loved me
Chris Balase Mar 2018
I will sing of my compassion
On a stage that I once owned
Where the spotlight once shone
Where our love was dethroned
And if you forget
if you dreadfully neglect
How your heart was once
In the comfort of my arms
At least through my song
Though it would take long
Look back at my eyes and see
That once, you loved me.
Science says it only takes our brains 21 days to be familliar with new habits and move on. But it failed to realize, that it would take years to erase someone from our memories.
Mar 2018 · 417
Vernacular II
Chris Balase Mar 2018
Sana sa susunod
Ako naman ay sumaya
Sana sa muling pagtatagpo
Ng aking tadhana
Sa iyong liwanag
Ay tuluyan nang mapawi ang dilim
Na dinulot ng mapait na nakaraan.

Sana hindi na tayo
Luluha ng ganito

Sana ang sakit
Ay tuluyang magbago

Sana ang mundo ko
Ay sya ring mundo mo

At sana ang bawat gabi nati'y
Wala ng dalamhati

Pagkat nais kong ihanda
Ang langit ng aking pagsinta
Para sa iyong pagpunta
Ay makumpleto na ang iyong ligaya

Sana

Sana'y sa susunod
Hindi na tayo ang luluha
.
Feb 2018 · 182
Unworthy
Chris Balase Feb 2018
Your loss to me my dear
Has much worth
As a pound of salt

It could've been more valuable
Had we lived centuries ago
It could've burdened me
Had we added the weight
  Of time spent together
And it could've hurt me
Had I allowed you within my abyss.

But as it stands
You are just a pound of salt
In an ocean vast and wide.
Another bleh in a wonderful world.
Feb 2018 · 148
Why then?
Chris Balase Feb 2018
I am no longer emotional needy
And I don't need to be afraid
Of sleeping and waking up alone.

So why then do I still try
To go home tired
In the wee hours of the morning?
Another 4am thought.
Feb 2018 · 227
Allow me to be
Chris Balase Feb 2018
Allow me to be cheezy
For I have no one else to share
My inmost thoughts and feelings
No one to compare

Allow me to express
Just a little of it to you
I promise not to  overwhelm
I promise this to be true

Let me start off by saying
That I really adore
Everything and anything
About you... and more

The way you laugh
The way you smile
That sparkling twinkle in your eyes

The way you care
The way you move
And your most noblest of desires

Your strength of character
hidden
Underneath your blossomed cheeks
Your adoring kindness embedded
And forever thou will keep

And shall I add the things you make me do?
How you make me smile away
My darkest days of blue

And how you make me excited
To see a brand new way
For in it I can find
You greeting for the day

Those are just some
For my reasons are long
Allow me to be cheezy
Before this day is gone.

With thoughts of you tonight. :)
Heart's day is a hard day... Luckily, you can find some ray of light hidden in another's smile.
Jan 2018 · 172
My heaven
Chris Balase Jan 2018
It is

Not the curvy lips
Or her shapely hips
Or her youthful, mesmerizing eyes
Not the pristine glow
On her cheeks and brow
Or her face that can span miles

It is

Her healing words
And comforting world
That makes a difference in my life
Her warmest embrace
A heart full of grace
Which pushes me through every strife

And we

Shall share every crumb
Every smile, every dawn
As we walk through our lane
To see the setting sun
Where it all began
As if it was the first time again

Is it far fetched
Or too blurry to sketch
To aspire this vision I've given?
Will it be too much
To acquire as such
My tiny piece of heaven?
Slowly dreaming
Never doubting
Is the journey of life
Jan 2018 · 129
Why I dance
Chris Balase Jan 2018
A friend asked why I dance? This was my reply:

I dance because...
It is the thump in my heart beat
It is the strength of my morning sun
It is the exhale of my inhale
The filter of my lungs
The connection to this world
My land of peace in my world of chaos
It is...
The quiet whisper of my soul
  Intently hidden behind my smile

Why do I dance?
Because with it I take off my mask
With it I become one with life and the living...
Such is life
Such is poetry
Jan 2018 · 138
She said
Chris Balase Jan 2018
She said that I should make
new friends while I spend
The next 24 hours away
from the noises inside my head

So tonight I will meet Mrs. Moon
As she smiles back at me
The Stars will say hi
Introducing their friend: Night sky

I will try to make amends
with my prosecutor: Past
And to try to visit my adversary: Fears
With its cohorts:
Unknown and Future

So that by tomorrow,
I can set an appointment
with my companion: Peace
and her brother: Courage

But little will she know
That I will also be thinking of her.. tonight.
Back to the coldest place
The last time I felt this chill
Was with another one's arms...
Jan 2018 · 165
Acceptance
Chris Balase Jan 2018
I deleted over 700 pictures in my phone just now. And each one of them contains a thousand words...
I have to let you go.
I don't want to leave... but I know I can't stay.
My thumbs never felt so heavy and God knows that I wanted to click the cancel button... but I didn't.
For the last time.
Good bye
Now let me weep for the last time to my lost love.
Dec 2017 · 176
New
Chris Balase Dec 2017
New
While the world is celebrating,
I will be flying back. Alone. Defeated. Crushed.

A new year indeed.

Happy? Not really.
Written on my way back to my homeland.
Dec 2017 · 315
Dabda
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Denial
  I did deny that your kisses were shorter
And when I reached out to hold your hand, you would...
Count a few seconds before reaching to your phone, to keep your hands busy.
Or that you would always find an excuse, to spend less intimate time with me.

Anger
  At the fact that I chose to stay with you, than to spend time with my family.
I willingly chose to accept your invitation.
Angry at the fact that I could not do amything beyond my time.

Bargain
  I tried talking and listening to your side.
You said you no longer want verbal and physical gestures of affection
You said that we have to hide our aftections, for others are quick to judge..
And you always introduced me as a friend.
I accepted your terms. Bargaining I did... To make us last a little bit longer.

I was just prolonging my agony. Thinking it was worth it.

Depression.
  Every night I cried
I have never experienced this much pain.
For seeing you so near to my grasp,
Yet holding you was never an option.

Acceptance.
  Give me more time.
Then maybe I will accept this fate,
Of losing the one I loved for reasons unknown, or perhaps, for no reason at all...
With lingering thoughts of you
I wish to smile, be happy for myself and for you...
And say goodbye
Dec 2017 · 267
Save me this night
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Save me this night
Oh hallows that grin
My fears have gathered
And rebeled within
At my weakest I clinch
And thump my chest
To remind me to breathe
My deepest regrets
My wailing eyes have rejected
The providence declared
And my wounds are opened
My blood has been shed
So I clinch again
My chest has never felt so tight
Please I beg all of you
Come save me tonight.
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy
Dec 2017 · 288
The beast and the trainer
Chris Balase Dec 2017
The beast and the trainer roamed around
The stage where lights and people abound
The crowd cheered as they each gain, for the beast: respect, for the trainer: fame.

The beast and the trainer, both actors they were,
And the world was astonished as they watched and stared
"Look! The trainer is better than before!"
Everyone loved the trainer more.

For the trainer could do what he wanted to do,
And the beast just followed through and through
They mocked the beast up to their heart's delight
So the beast turned his back away from their sight.

And the beast walked away in shame,
For he was tired of people calling him names,
"What they don't know..." he said quietly,
"Is that I surrendered and sacrified willfully."

For the beast loved the trainer after all,
Tis' the reason why he gave his all.
In every relationship, one will get the glory while the other will sacrifice.
Dec 2017 · 335
Thank you
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Thank you
For sharing with me
This wonderful time with your family
For knowing your daughter
For allowing me to take her to school
And cuddling her at night.
For your mom's warm
Home cooked meals
For showing me your dreams
For your once warm embrace...
Thank you.

But I will never forgive you
I will always hate you
For breaking my heart.
When abundant affection turns to absolute pain. Nuff said.
Dec 2017 · 219
Hello my old friend
Chris Balase Dec 2017
So it has finally come to this
From strangers to lovers
To strangers again.
No verse can save me now
No vision can direct
No direction can guide
And no guidance can prohibit
the spill... The spill

My ducts are dry from
Its poisonous dew
Which became my companion
In the last few days.

My room is darker
than usual...
Loving and being loved
Was once its light.

My heart beats still
But I can sense a disconnect
From your heart, whereas
Once we were in sync.

It has finally come
Oh death
Carve your inscription
Tear my flesh
In the slowest, most agonizing way

For what is life
But a series of regrets
And a bowl filled
With my shattered soul
And I am too tired to rebuild it
The. End.
Dec 2017 · 276
The dichotomy of you
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Split between
Your warm embrace and your sweet smile
Is the ever lingering thought of "Will you ever truly be mine?"
When you say you love me
And then say that we wouldn't last long
Is the piercing sensation
Of proving you wrong.
But your intimacy has left
And this pushes me back
I am left to think
That you are at your end... While I am still on track.
But you say you love me
So I give my love still
For it is just who I am,
and what I am capable of doing

So it kills me every waking hour

Let me just end with that.
Too tired
Too many tries
What changed?
Is this who you truly are,
Or are you just pushing me away?
Dec 2017 · 152
Listen
Chris Balase Dec 2017
You said you would listen.
Here I am, speaking.
When your soul speaks
When your spirit mutters
When your conscience breaks silence

This is what it sounds like.
Dec 2017 · 151
What's it like?
Chris Balase Dec 2017
What's it like?

It is:
Bitter sweet,
Like sunrise when she's here, but like sunset at the same time, knowing it is but temporal.

It is:
A time bomb
Wrapped around your body
Yet you gladly embrace every ticking second, breathing it in, knowing it may be the last

It is:
The whisper of every shout
The cry of every smile
And the ending to every tale.

It is illogical.
It is love to the fullest whimsical degree.
Unrequited.
Unparalleled.
Uncertain.

Unwell.
Aug 2017 · 476
The Secret Place
Chris Balase Aug 2017
Once, we met in our old secret place
Under the sea of stars
You can feel from your back...
the blanket of clouds dancing in the air
the pulse of emotion
captive stories that shouts freedom from imprisoned hearts

That night, the crickets were silent
the trees stopped swaying
I silenced the entire universe to listen
to you...
And on that day, I knew you.

You told me stories of your past
I answered the hows and the whens
the whos and the wheres
your happiest and saddest experiences

I will never forget that night.

When your finger hushed you lips already trembling in cold
And the moment you opened you mouth
The floor you were lying on became a stage...
where you began to sing.
I listened
to the beat,
the beat,
the beat,
the beat of your heart
under your voice as you enunciate your words
of the lyrics of a familiar song
which we had both written
and I listened to your every little word
every little breath
the highs and the lows
In every whisper and every shout
The world was shouting with you
but I listened to no one but you
because I know
that on that night you didn't need promises
you didn't need gifts
you didn't need praises
you didn't need roses from anyone's mouth
or flattering words
I know what you need is a pair of ears who will listen
so I listened...

While you were telling stories about your favorite childhood toy
that one time you cried in a singing contest because you were nervous
about the first love that you had
I listened to you.

I listened to you because
I love you
If you failed to hear it the first time we met
I will say it again
"I love you"
And this is not the same love that you hear from the world
this is the love that is the most genuine of all...
the love that will listen to you

So tell me how you discovered love
and I will tell you how I created love
so tell me how they hurt you
and I will tell you how they humiliated me,
how they beat me,
how they crucified me
and how I agreed to all of this because of a promise
Remind me how many times you were lost
and I will remind you how many times I searched
remind me how many times you failed
and I will remind you how many times I embraced you

Show me that you are ready to trust
that you are ready to love
and I will show you how to pray...

So don't be afraid to tell me

I am listening to you, I understand
because I know what it feels
to be unheard


One time...
I saw you in our secret place
underneath the sea of stars
you can feel from your back
the blanket of clouds dancing in the wind
the pulse of emotions...
captive stories that shouts freedom from imprisoned hearts

But on that night
on that night...
the crickets were all angry
trees' branches were swaying unceasingly
the whole universe was making noises for you
and on that day...
I held you in my arms
but your numb body failed to realize I was there
I said "I love you"
but you did not listen to me
you would rather listen to the world
the world that says "You are ready to love, if you are ready to get hurt."
But always remember this:
Not every wounded heart fought the right battle.

Now there is a battle happening in your heart...
tell me about them...
and I will listen.
Translated from a Tagalog slam poem. Credit goes to the original author: Brian Vee
Jul 2017 · 493
Autumn
Chris Balase Jul 2017
The autumn reminds
Me of memories of you
Of days past
And my days of blue.
The autumn lingers
With dreams of fair
When distance was naught
And love was to share.
This autumn will come
And sooner it will be
Just trinklets of you
And shattered pieces of me.
And I really disdain
This autumn so near
All I really care for
Are words you will never hear
Inspired by another Vuetnamese song.
Jun 2017 · 379
A requiem
Chris Balase Jun 2017
My love, I set you free
For I am bound in chains
Do not come and visit my chamber
For it will only cause you pain.

My freedom is never near
Behind these walls and masks
So for that I compel you to bid ear
And listen well to my final task.

I set you free, to find your happiness
Though our love has endured its time...
I bid you find someone else to love
For you can no longer be mine.

Plant a kiss to our child, for I can never will
And embrace him in my absence
Remind him to be humble and true
So that he will remember my presence.

I am neither rich or powerful
So I cannot give you gold that shines,
Perhaps I may promise you wealth that you deserve
In another place, in another time

My love I would've given everything
To feel your touch and the warmth of your embrace...
And I would always remember you
Your very nature, your very face.

But behind these curtain of iron I creep
And on this cold pavement I lie
A prisoner of fortune and mishaps
Bound until the very day I die.

So I set you free, I set you free
Now begone before I change my mind
I set you free, I set you free
Please don't leave anything behind.
Inspired by a Vietnamese song about a P.O.W.
Jun 2017 · 172
Remember
Chris Balase Jun 2017
To my darling, I bid you fly
As high as the wind may take.
Where the arrows of thy dreams collide,
And thy goodness becomes not just better, but great.

And seize your every moment
To save this world,
For this is what thy heart desires
So save every morning, every dew drop, every tree,
Thy shall never grow faint nor tire.

But when thy heart feels it needs
A place to be found, or to be free...
Or when the day comes when thy have finished thy task...
Remember that thy heart belongs to me.

And on that day, thy shall find
Myself waiting through the passage of time
Remember this truth, remember this rhyme
Remember that I am yours, and that you are mine.
Jun 2017 · 177
Boxed up
Chris Balase Jun 2017
To be honest I hate my room too. It is too small. Too smelly. To girly for me.

The only reason why in the past few days I look forward to going back here... is because I imagine you in it.

I imagine our laughter
Over the slightest
Whim.
I imagine how
We brainstorm
On how to save the world.
And how I can huddle, or cuddle,
Or how I would have a chance
To personally say "Good night"
And "Good morning"

I imagine how nervous we would be
To step out
For others might see
Our little mishap.

Now that you're not here. I don't know what to do.
For this cold night
Is overbearing...
And these walls
Are boxing me up.
When you realize that the scent of someone
Is the perfume you're looking for
May 2017 · 237
Phiền muộn
Chris Balase May 2017
My woes tonight are unspoken
with wars and storms that rage
within mine self

unexplained they are
untamed...untrimmed

I need you to tame them
to hold mine hand
and gaze me with thine eyes
that shoot like the stars

It is unfair for you to do this, I know

For you need sheltering too
from your woes, my dear

So mine lips will be silent
as we hold onto each other

For this is what I need
and you would suffice.
Depression is a traitor.
May 2017 · 161
They say
Chris Balase May 2017
They say...
That it is foolish to believe
That love would stay through the distance

They say...
It is but foolish to believe
That love would endure time.

It is also illogical
To latch onto someone
Knowing that the wall which divides you
Is both impenetrable, and obscure.

Maybe it is.
Maybe love is...
Illogical.

But everytime I remember
Your eyes looking at me,
I believe.
Everytime I remember your touch that pierces my skin,
I hope.
Everytime I close my eyes, I know that I have closed the distance between us.
And our farewells are long forgotten...

Because,
I.
Love.
You.

And it is illogical like they say.
May 2017 · 185
Phobia
Chris Balase May 2017
I am happy
Since you said yes
My days have been brighter
And my nights shorter...

Now I fear
Of spending them without you

I fear of looking at the sky
Knowing you belong to a different time zone.
Far from my arms to hold

I am afraid of losing you.  
Of me being lost.

And this ruins me everytime

Promise me you'll stay.
May 2017 · 334
Sleep well tonight
Chris Balase May 2017
Hush your voice
Which cometh from within
Count the beat of thy heart
And listen.

Pray to God to forgive thy mistakes
As we do the same to our foes... And ourselves.

Then.

Close thy eyes
And see
Your deepest wiles engulfed in dreams
For there thyself is free
And there they shall forever be...

Then breathe...
Take them all in.
  Thy faults
   Thy pain
      Thy virtues
        Thy past
For nothing in reality will last
This is thy vocation, thy task.

And before you close the light so bright...
Smile and think of me
Saying:
Sleep well tonight.
Apr 2017 · 958
Filipino verse
Chris Balase Apr 2017
Uuwi nanaman ako sa luma kong tahanan
Titingin sa mga pader
At kakausapin ang mga sulok
Titingala, hihiling sa gabi at bituin
Na sana mapawi na ang kirot
Na nadarama ng puso

Masakit na ang mag isa

Masakit na ang walang mapaghingahan
At ang tanging tinig na maririnig
Ay ang alingawngaw ng isip

Pipilitin ko umidlip.
Pakiusap, hayaan mo akong umidlip
At manatiling ligaw
Sa panaginip kong ninakaw
Ng mga lumipas na araw
Dahil napagtanto ko na...

Masakit na ang mag isa.
Nothing beats your native tongue
Apr 2017 · 258
A contractual affair
Chris Balase Apr 2017
We are both ticking bombs
Awaiting for its time
To shed the last minute together
And end this passionate rhyme
And the thing that hurts
Is that I know it will surely end
Yet here I am, clingling, holding
Pretending to be a friend
For a fool I was,
And a fool I am now
Giving genuine touches
Giving my soul somehow
For we are but ticking bombs
Ready to expire
Lost in this moment,
In the memory of our desires.
Apr 2017 · 198
Beneath the night
Chris Balase Apr 2017
Sometimes, I look at you
Only to find your eyes
Looking at the moon
And dreaming of skies

Can I be the one you think about?
Unite our eyes and see
That someday I dream
Everything you need is in me.
Chris Balase Jan 2017
It was supposed to be a glance
out of curiosity
of whether how strong I think I have become
and how much distance I have progressed
away
from
you

But I should never have looked back
  for my days of preparations
  my cunning deceptions
  and my untold lies that I have forgotten you
  have all fallen short
the moment
I  
saw
you

As the memories came
rushing like the wind
and the what ifs
stalk my shoulders,
prancing like a gazelle,
enticing me to try
to
win
you
back

And yes,
I should never have looked back.
Jan 2017 · 300
I just want to be happy
Chris Balase Jan 2017
I wish not for glorious riches
I seek not for fame and pride
I dream of a home to look unto
a place where I can be alive

I whisper not prayers of uncanny health
nor wish for eternal wisdom's guide
I dream of whispering "I love you"
to my woman, to my child

And yes, I dream of doors wide open
to my return from a laborious day
and sit to find some bread and porridge
to warm the coldness of my summer's day

So that I may lay round a crowd of few
and close my eyes so weary and sappy
and to barely utter my last words
this, is what will make me happy.
Jan 2017 · 291
When you know it hurts
Chris Balase Jan 2017
An empty space looms around
and violence shakes the underground
I search with hope, but none can be found
with voiceless cries I shout without a sound

And every glance that pierces me
reminds me of why I am not free
and every mutter seems like spells
of scrutiny cast from it's wells.

No rhyme no rhythm no symphony
can ease the burden of my agony
and the tales of providence that people see
are nothing compared to the emptiness in me

Oh how each day seems bleak and blue
since the day that I lost You
My hope, my pride, my teardrop burst
That's when I knew that it hurts
Dec 2016 · 275
The night cap
Chris Balase Dec 2016
Another one closes and shuts
I am over the fence...
whether to be relieved, or to leave
Or to be a friend

At least the boundaries were set
and yes, we did try
though the trial was brief,
it was definite in her eyes

Closing another chapter is both
bitter and profound
both scarring and joyous  
but the pain remains some how

We were sipping the night away,
with paper cups and mini stops
as the evening turned to dawn
and my smirks hide my tear drops.
Written after another chapter of my life closes. This was more painful, but more quick. And for that I feel satisfied.
Carry on, Chris, carry on.
A few more battle scars,
a few thousands more
Dec 2016 · 277
Acrostic 001
Chris Balase Dec 2016
Knowing

Every morning I find myself whispering your name
Remembering thy subtle touch and joyous eyes
Even now I feel that things are  not the same
Now I need to know you behind your guise
Dec 2016 · 194
A company of three
Chris Balase Dec 2016
Once there was a holy man
Who built his life with God
and worshiped without holding back
who surrendered everything he got.

Once there was a brave man,
a young fighter of sorts
who fought valiantly, fearlessly,
a champion in the King's court

Another was a poet,
who dared to love and lost
who looked at every person's eyes
to see their light the most

But these persons have died
one after the other
first the holy man perished
then the poet and then the fighter

And every day since then,
I have visited their sepulcher
to reminisce the times we had
to never forget, to always remember

And I dream that one day
I will cross paths with one of them
the priest, the fighter, the poet
to exchange our emblems

Oh I have been
and will always be
a man fulfilled outside
yet really empty
Dec 2016 · 274
Cumber
Chris Balase Dec 2016
This is me

After the battles that made me both strong and weak
after all the agony and the losing streak
Behind the cumber of memories, where I both lived and died
and the absence of emotions where I laughed and cried.

Oh the strength of my youth is fleeing so swiftly
and my being is exposing my every frailty
what I once feared to become is who I have turned to be
Oh, the lost which once was found was taken away from me...

But,
This is me

Though calloused and lost
Though pained and insecure
Though stabbed and wounded
Though forsaken by many

I still live, and for that I am secure
My bleak future is ahead, and with that comes hope
For I have seen in the past what really matters most,
for I believe that the things which can be lost
   are things which can be attained once more

So let the hopeless romantic rise
and the dreamer see visions once more
Let my feeble hands and scarred sinews
regain their strength toward the final blow

For my battles are over but my war shall not end
and though each blow becomes tougher-
so tougher too shall I become

I look at my hands, shaking, numb
I recall my dreams, like shadows moving
I feel my heartbeat, strong, yet afraid
and I take my deep breaths to feel my life

This is me.
Nov 2016 · 196
Free verse: Lessons
Chris Balase Nov 2016
Always close the door, don't let anyone in.
There will only be
Me, myself, and I.
For others take,
Knowing that it's natural for me to give.
But when tables are turned...
The ones who received
Have closed their fists,
Smiles turn to grins
Praises to mockery
Blessings to curses
For their thirst to ask
Is a ne'er ending cycle
Until but a stump I shall remain.

So close the doors, shut mine windows.

This is my note to self.
What this year has taught me so far. I just want to share my thoughts right now.
Jul 2016 · 253
Perfect
Chris Balase Jul 2016
This was your favorite adjective
Your favorite line.
"This is perfect!" You exclaimed,
While your eyes shined.
It was perfectly subtle when we met
In a perfect evening of sorts
And yes, it was perfect too...
Though it was perfectly short.

I was looking at some photographs
When I suddenly find
Memories of you and I...
When time was once kind
When you were still mine.

I remember your perfect face,
Your perfect eyes,
Your perfect embrace
Your perfect smile.

You were perfect.

We were perfect.

What we had was perfect.

Until you left me with lies.
Then I died.
Jul 2016 · 479
The hopeless romantic
Chris Balase Jul 2016
The hopeless romantic
When I say I’m a hopeless romantic, feel free to criticize, scrutinize and vandalize my words…
But remember that they are nothing compared to the intensity of my true emotions, my dear.
For this hopeless romantic feels, dreams, hopes and cares too much, too much for you.
I feel you everytime I see you, and see you even if were far away.
For distance is never measured by miles or kilometers, it can never be scored by the spacial differences between inches or light years…distance, is always dependent on how close our hearts are. And how close are we my love?
I dream of you even when I am awake, and in my dreams I clearly see you wrapped within my arms in the midst of the world’s chaos. And in spite all that, there is peace found in between our embrace. As quiet, tranquil and silent words hush our doubts and fears. For fear is captured in a prison called freedom, a freedom only found inches away from our heavy breathing.

For this hopeless romantic fears, dreads, gropes and cries too much, too much for you.
Jul 2016 · 217
Untitled
Chris Balase Jul 2016
When all I ever needed was you.
When all I ever yearned for is your presence.
When all this void can only be filled with your love.
When your whisper is the only sound that catches my attention.

I buried them all...
Or so I think.
Or so I wished.
And I have left them
Half-heartedly
... Or so I say.

You visited me one night,
Oh my old friend
It was shorter than before
But my tears lasted longer than usual.

It was nice seeing you
Though this time in my dream
And it was all but a glance
Of what we used to be.

For the death of what we had
Gave you peace
And in return,
It gave me nothing but fear.

My old friend, I missed you
Written after dreaming Her one early morning.
Jul 2016 · 224
a lullaby
Chris Balase Jul 2016
write me a lullaby
and sing for me tonight
sing songs about your love
tell me how its going to be alright

woo me again
whisper softly into my ear
call me again
take away all my fears

you shall halt my doubts
with your reassuring words
you shall put thine peace
you could bind my cords

and wash me away
and cleanse me anew
with your sweet perfume

so tonight i pray
let the stars shine
let the cold air breeze
for i long to rest

so please

write me a lullaby
sing them to me
for tonight my God
i want to walk in love with You
circa 2010
Jul 2016 · 189
what makes a man?
Chris Balase Jul 2016
for quite some time now i have been wondering how great men would think, plan and excute things.
what i should've been focusing on is his character.
The battles he fights regularly
his emotional strenghts
his weaknesses.
for he faces them everyday, until the day that his physical body ceases to exists
yet he still remains.

what makes him strong?
though he knows that he is still weak?
though he knows that some of his decisions were fatal, to say the least...
what makes him strong enough to face tomorrow?
or to face his friends and smile?

what makes him push forward
when everything around him:
his friends, relatives, situation
is running the other way...
what makes him walk an extra step? though his kness could've given up
1000 meters ago?

what makes him tick?
is it his pure will
and guts
and instinct?
or maybe, just maybe
he has gotten used to this battle...
that his body is moving involuntarily, to do what is right in the eyes of God
so what makes him tick?

when he is down, and his heart is frail...
what makes him smile?
surely it isnt a fake one
though crying would have been the easier option...
and quitting could have been the easier way out.

how much passion does he have?
so that he could withstand the coldness of every grim
... of being alone in his decisions...
what intensifies him? is it the goal?

what makes a man?
so that he could be strong willed
enough to make sacrifes again
and again and again
that though the earth beneath him is shaking, he still stands firm

so what makes a man... to become a rightful inheritor
of this gift...
which is called "calling"?

i know, i will not age
and lose my eyesight
before i see...
truly see...
and understand
what makes a man.
circa 2010
Jul 2016 · 250
anniversary note
Chris Balase Jul 2016
i remember the first time when i first saw you
it was inside a church, when God spoke
"she will be your wife" unto my ears.

i remember the morning when we first said "i love you"
and held hands...
shaking as they were

when i saw you walking towards me
on our wedding day...
oh how i remember them well.

i remember last night
when we cuddled ourselves to sleep
whispering "i love you"
holding each other
-tightly, like there's no tomorrow
i will remember it well

and every time will i remember
our days past
and our days to come

i could never be happier, fulfilled and assured
with anyone else
i love you
Another one from a land far away, and  time long gone.
Jul 2016 · 146
The feeling I get
Chris Balase Jul 2016
I see the sky
    as empty as the sky
is the feeling I experience
everytime we say "good night" ,"God bless" and "see you tomorrow"

So empty as the night sky

I see the wind
as cold as the wind
is the feeling I get
when you and I part ways
the feeling is there everytime I turn back
and see you move away.

Like the wind that's here for a moment

we see each other not as often as we used to,
not as long as we used to,
yet... somehow we get along.

But it seems that I can't be used with the feeling
of having you for a moment
missing you through the night
and longing for you every morning
yet... somehow we get along

I love you Vanessa... in any and every aspect of you.

Then...

I remember our love,
growing like flowers,
free, as the wind, sun and moon
played with it.
as plain as a flower
as fragrant as a flower
is the love that you gave
--thank you--
you could have given me a ****,
and it would still mean the world to me


with loving thoughts of you
Chris
(another poem way back, when my wife and I were just in a steady relationship)
Jul 2016 · 305
Freestyle 07/09/2016
Chris Balase Jul 2016
I am too tired now
from the follies of my youth
I am too scared
of creating the same mistakes
I am too cautious
in finding who's worthy
and too weak
to try to d o it all again

sigh

But I need to breathe
and as my lungs are slowly sipping
the magnitude of this world
after exhausting
the dire muck of my memories

I think and proclaim to myself
no...it is but a whisper now...
I whisper: "One day at a time"
I close my eyes in surrender
to the infinite
and access my potential
knowing that  in the deepest recess of my soul
a spark is still there
awaiting my command
awaiting to be tapped
awaiting to be born

"But whisper softly"
I say.
"For it is not time for your to awake"
May 2016 · 230
Untitled
Chris Balase May 2016
And at the end of it all
She said goodbye
And he found his missing piece...
Their lives move on
And tonight he knows
His world is at peace...

One down, a thousand more
The demons of his past
The hauntings they have brought
Will slowly come to naught...
  AT THE END OF IT ALL.
Written tonight. After finally closing one small chapter, ending a once significant character, and leaving one mistake from my past, while sipping coffee and talking about whimsical doodles. One down, a thousand more ghosts to face.
May 2016 · 187
A coffee shared for two
Chris Balase May 2016
And at the end of it all
She said goodbye
And he found his missing piece...
Their lives move on
And tonight he knows
His world is at peace...

One down, a thousand more
The demons of his past
The hauntings they have brought
Will slowly come to naught...
  AT THE END OF IT ALL.
Written tonight. After finally closing one small chapter, ending a once significant character, and leaving one mistake from my past, while sipping coffee and talking about whimsical doodles. One down, a thousand more ghosts to face.
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