hip hopping
all the way,
swinging off the wagon.

I'm the energized bunny with my battery mind...
Duracell [24/hour] thoughts all the time...
My bones are showing, again.
Pretty is pain, pretty is thin.
Here I go again, searching for a problem...
I can't be satisfied, just gotta make myself cry all of the time...
Selfish little brat; selfish swine eating all the time...
I could be spending enjoying loving you...
but I spend it worrying...
I spend it starving...
I spend it loosely...
Like pockets with holes...
As if you'll never leave...
Why can't I breathe...
What's going on with me...?
I am ill...I need help...
Abandonment issues that need dealt with...
I don't want you to leave...so why do I push and push and push you so ******* hard...
When all I yearn for is your heart and reassurance...
You're all I think about...
All I ******* think about...
I see so much good...
But I destroy everything I touch...
Everything I love...
I'm allergic to.
I grow sick and I sink to the bottom of my [trench] of a mind...
I feel the pettles of my existence drop at the extent of wonder...
My mood quickly plunders...

Paranoia.
      Paranoia.



Paranoia.
            Paranoia.

Haunts me.


Anorexia perpetuating bad sleep cycle,
sleep cycle perpetuating depression,
depression perpetuating anorexia,
anorexia perpetuating depression.

...paranoia.
Paranoia.

You see all that I do.
Who are you?
Who are you talking to?

I'm losing my mind.
Paranoid.
Obsessive thoughts.
Make them stop.

Turns out...
and it's kinda funny, actually,
I'm the only one in my way.

What is caring,
and why is it there?
I feel so guilty about all the times I opened my mouth.
I'll make it all about me,
believing it's all about you,
while making it all about
you making me have a reason to make it all about me.
Sometimes. I. Wish. I. Could. Just.
Shut. Up.
Shut up, Chloe.
Shut the **** up.