I feel my head exploding,
splitting really,
into a thousand clouds of
silver.
An uncharted breakdown
that is so very familiar.
People should be held accountable for
the actions of others.
The pressure lessens its grip on
my spinal cord.
The musical adaptation of my life
blossoms before my very eyes.
Seen through a dream catcher
that is broken with
nightmares of fallen ancestors.
Please,
forgive me for rambling.
Words are hypnotic and
let me forget about
the ringing in my head.
A thousand decibels of silence,
shattered.
They are forgotten by society.
Forced to live in gangways with cockroaches and
the pages of old leather bound books.
They leave on
a wing and
a prayer.
Bathed in dust and dirt,
they hear the barking of the pitbull
inside my head.
Brought down by the blade.
I once observed a church being boarded up,
blocking out the elements and homeless.
It was calming.
Does that make me a horrible person?
Eerily beautiful.
I wish I could go back to that moment in time,
frozen in place.
My head explodes.
Can you hear the bell tower ringing Quasimodo?
Chimes louder than a bomb,
falling through the rotted out wood.
It's for the best.
The Horseman didn't need a head.
The silence will bring me back.
Remember,
our actions now
are our actions now.
Ring the bell!

Knot in my stomach, black hole as a heart,
My mind only searches for a way out.
Out of my mind, out of this dream,
Out of this life that's way worse than it seems.

My body is nothing but an empty shell,
Every day is a tedious visit to hell.
My hands shake, my body pulls tight,
I've acquired such weakness, I can't put up a fight.

You're the only thing that keeps me alive,
Bailing out the water in which I have dived.
Drop by drop, I am desperate and drowning,
As I lose all hope, my death you keep doubting.

You tell me everything will be okay,
I refuse to believe a single word that you say.
You tell me I am beautiful, I simply ignore you,
I know I am worthless and I don't deserve you.

Where have all the days gone by?
What once was new, now is made;
Night is falling, close my eyes,

Now, the moments softly cry,
The light has clouds racing away,
Where have all the days gone by?

Fresh and verdant the gentle tighs,
Summers sweetness up in blaze,
Night is falling, close my eyes.

What once was truth now is lie,
After rains shear loss of May,
Where have all the days gone by?

I hear the hush, leaves that die,
I fear what the swan has to say,
Night is falling, close my eyes.

Awakened to such sad surprise,
Spring was such a fleeting haze,
Where have all the days gone by;
Night is calling, close my eyes.

And so starts another day.
Here we go again.
The bullying, the abuse, the lies that never end.
Fighting my demons as I walk around.
So many people stomping me to the ground.
Here goes another day of trying to stay strong.
Fighting back tears, making the most of things that will go wrong.
Here goes another day forcing a smile.
Fighting my demons I've been fighting for a while

The devil is whispering
through white plaster,
pock-marked walls.
The window's eyes are watching
every movement of the
hardwood floors, sending out
dust.
A front door with four locks,
but one is broken.
A back down with four locks,
but never opened.
The devil can't get out,
the demons can't get in.
Waiting for the chance
for redemption,
riding on the back of a cockroach.
Close the French doors to the bedroom,
shut out the world,
bathed in darkness,
hidden,
secluded,
perfect
for one more day.

The crushing weight inside of my chest
Makes thoughts of you harder to digest
Burning tears fill fill my eyes and steals my breath
Filling me with a pain 10 fold worse than death
The tears that fill my eyes refuse to fall
Denying me the releasing relief that comes only after a waterfall
Trapped in a lake of unreleased tears and untold pain
The screaming in my head, my own voice as if I've gone insane
I fear that in this lake of tears I may drown
And that the last sounds I'll ever hear is the deafening silence of nobody else around
Oxygen free to all others to me is refused
Fighting for every breath leaves my soul feeling bruised and abused
Treading water ever rising inside my own personal hell
Silence so loud it echoes with the pain that it has come to foretell
And only you hold the key to my release
"I forgive you" is all I need to achieve a little inner peace

At ***** ****'s and Sloppy Joe's
We drank our liquor straight,
Some went upstairs with Margery,
And some, alas, with Kate;
And two by two like cat and mouse
The homeless played at keeping house.

There Wealthy Meg, the Sailor's Friend,
And Marion, cow-eyed,
Opened their arms to me but I
Refused to step inside;
I was not looking for a cage
In which to mope my old age.

The nightingales are sobbing in
The orchards of our mothers,
And hearts that we broke long ago
Have long been breaking others;
Tears are round, the sea is deep:
Roll them overboard and sleep.