I'm laid here with a full stomach
Clawing at it as I feel it digesting inside of me.
It screams freedom,
Begging for me to release it
I hold it back and choke on my words

I must stay strong
I must stay strong

Soon enough the guilt tickles the back of my throat
And I throw up a thousand words.

I am isolated
I am a failure
I am
...
worthless.

I scream back
"I will never ever be enough for anyone!"

You're just scared,
And I respect that.
But you're still a coward for leaving,
When the duty for Prince Charming,
Is to rescue his Princess.

Not to run away,
From the dragon guarding her,
In great fear.

You love me?
Maybe.
*But love is stronger than fear.

Water bottles
Kept at his bedside like the empty memories that he keeps "just cause"

The red curtains, just like his heart, drape across the sleeve of his jacket.
They help to keep the world out
Cause red is said to attract the bull, right?
The last thing he needs is another blow to the head from an angry animal
Yet that is all he craves

The feeling of his warm, rough finger tips tracing my skin almost tells the story of an ex lover
She was gentle but firm
It was obvious that she had been worked and that was taking it's toll on her
On him

In the midst of this
The hairs on his arms danced their way across to mine
As if moving to the rythm of my breathing
Our bodies merged in to a new song
The sound of his heart and mine began to blend in harmony
He begins to forget the lyrics to his old favourite song

The heart
Time is said to heal it
But the empty look in his eyes can't possibly hide the pain that still lies within his
The eyes are the windows to the soul
But for me,
He sees no point in the frames

The tears
 that drag themselves down his face begin to appear
when he unfurls her name from his lips
As if they thought they would never be freed

It's 2am and the rain is shouting at the window
Begging to be let in
It's been so long since he was vulnerable to someone
Something
The idea of his clothes sticking to his body seems to terrify him
"I will never let anything cling to me or get close to me again."

The bellowing silence created an elephant in the room

No matter how many times the question is asked
There is the same answer
"I'm fine"
But are you?
When the only time you feel safe is behind the the red curtain
Next to the water bottles
Kept at the bedside
like the empty memories that you keep
"Just cause".

You loved me,
But now,
What's left of that love?

Wow.
You know the fear in losing your own mind is far from gradual at pace, when the outernet deems to be far more displeasing each time you look out of the window. Yes, it's spring and yes the sun is shining, but staying in bed feels like the undoubtably right choice, when in reality, the gliding of the butterflies that you witness will one day become just a faint memory, cause let's face it, we all die a little inside when winter comes...
But for the butterflies, it's a little more personal.

(I can't explain
It's stupid really...)

*(But I can hear her)

(I don't know, I just hear her voice.) *

Sometimes
it's like,
it echoes through my body
...Or something.

(No, it's like)

(Look I'm trying to explain)

I sit late at night hoping that I can sleep
But then I come realise how that is almost impossible.

(Do you understand?)

The piercing sound of her words flowing into me feels like a million knives stabbing through my back

But at first,
When the words start to enter my mind,
It's almost as though they scratch along the surface,
as if they're daring to plunge in to me
... but they're waiting for the perfect opportunity
To
Get
Me
To, to make sure that I'm as fragile as I can be, and I'm pinned to the floor ready for the slicing

(Yes, that's it
I'm insane, I know
But thats what it feels like)

She's just picking at me for now
But soon she will have torn me apart and I will be nothing but broken bones and torn flesh

(Can you hear me?
I'm sorry)

She takes over my head as my breathing becomes a lot faster and heavier
It's like she's ripping out my heart and there's nothing I can do about it

(Now listen)*

I'm practically dead in a sense, because I'm not living
I am just plain and simply... alive

...Just.

I can't even begin to explain this feeling that I have,
It's too strong.
Is strong even the word, who knows?
Maybe there needs to be a new word,
A word that will finally describe exactly what I feel for you.
But for now this will have to do.

It's like I'm constantly wrapped up,
Not in a way that I'm smothered and choking,
But in a way that I feel safe, warm and protected.

Your arms act like a barrier when you throw them around me, and they rest on my hips, It gives me a feeling of security, like I never need to worry about a thing when you're around.

It's like we're chained together at sea, and as soon as the waves crash against us and drag you down, I go right down with you.
We're one and if you're down or sad, I feel a deep ache inside of me too.
You need to carry on sailing with me.

It's as though this was always meant to be,
Me, you, and the underestimated power of love.
We are forever entwined together by this... This feeling. I still can't describe it.

Love is a very complicated concept at our life stage, but as we grow older, there are more signs that'll be shown which will open up our eyes to it's true meaning.

There is no such thing as this longing ache for a feeling of love and contentment anymore,
I've found it,
I've found it with you,
It's a different kind of ache,
I feel it every night,
I long for you to lay by my side.
But you will one day,
With your lips pressed against my forehead,
And my tired arms draped across your chest.

I will one day look up at you,
And whisper these very important words; My lover, my best friend, my soul mate,
My heart belongs to you,
I love you,
Truly, madly, deeply."

Not at any one time
Had I thought there would be a light at the end of the tunnel,

Never had I thought that I would find a key to unlock so many doors - so many solutions to my troubles,

I would never have thought I'd grow so tall to see over the plot of darkness that blinded me,

And then there was you.

When I met you, you carried me, you lifted me up so high that the darkness could no longer lurk at eye level,
It could no longer latch on to my leg as you clasped my fragile body and pulled me free from the dark's grasp, it's fingertips sliding off the soles of my feet.

At that point I was breathless,
As you ripped every last ache and pain that I was feeling, right from my heart, and watched as it broke into a million pieces, as sharp as shards of glass, painful and dangerous.

But it was gone,
Just like that.
The darkness had seemed so difficult to remove,
Yet the slightest of effort was made as your angelic hands lifted me away from all danger,

It's as if you're a saint in disguise,
As if we were destined to fall in love as soon as my eyes met yours,
From that moment on,
I knew that you were the light at the end of my tunnel,
The key to my doors,
The height of growth to my freedom of the dark - my saviour.
The answer to all of my questions
My reason to love,to live, to hold on,
The reason that I believe true love still exists.

It's like we're all holding a piece of something that's broken,
and my piece is just too heavy for me,
soon enough it's just going to crush me.
I wish someone would save me...