he planted flowers where you buried weeds in my head.
so why are you surprised when i begin to bloom instead of sit, continually withering away.
why are you stunned that i let him hold me a bit closer than i let you?
you signed the grave stone you planted in my chest, so that i wouldn't forget that maybe once, some time ago, you did in fact live there.
you opened windows inside my veins
to shout that i belonged to you,
but only blood came out.
i cover your tracks with pulled down sleeves
so that maybe not a soul will notice
the things you have done to me.
after all, i don't ever want him to know
that you are reason i forgot what my smile looked like.
darling, i pulled all the thorns off the rose bush he planted inside of me because they reminded me of you.
i'm begging you, stop haunting my chest with the ghost of who i made you out to be...
i need you to let me bloom now.

society destroyed her
but they said it was for her benefit
to learn how to discern
that no one was concerned about her well being
and instead of trying to learn her
beautiful, chaotic head,
every guy that sees her just wants to get to know her body in bed,
but don't forget that society
"knows what's best"
and they fed her pain
that they said only alcohol could drain
and at one point someone heard her once say that she was no where close to okay
so they told her that sometimes death
is the only way to deal with the devastating mess that society has made
but refuses to address
so she took a blade to her skin
because society told her that it was the only way to win the battle against herself in the end
and society watched on with misleading delight as she lost control of herself
pills became the only thing that made her mind still and alcohol was the only thing that seemed to fill the holes that society had drilled right through her. depression consumed as society assumed position to continue telling her exactly who she's supposed to be and what she's supposed to think. and when she looks back, she wonders when things got so bad and why "friends" tried so hard to make her sad and take everything she ever had. so when she couldn't find an answer for her crippling life, she finally accepted societies best answer
which happened to be suicide.

put your fingers on my lips
and tell me one last lie before you go
grab my waist and hold me tight
that way it feels like you love me
a little more than that girl
you're about to **** around with for the night
tell me that you'll be back tomorrow
when you're drunk off the taste of another girls lips
make me believe that i mean more than
nothing at all to you.

"are you willing to take the risk? jump off the cliff?"

"i think i already have. twice."

"and look where it's gotten you, you've already died twice. so are you willing to risk dying a third time?"

"maybe third time is the charm."

you wanted to be better. so you threw yourself aimlessly at anything that looked halfway like her. and honey i'm sure you felt them all tearing at the very core of whatever it is that makes you who you are. you're pulled every which way until the only direction that you know is pain. they beg, always hungry for more and eventually you become a walking apology because they make you believe you can't ever satisfy them. you wear her heart around your neck and i'm sure that heart doesn't always represent the same girl. you love endlessly and fully and in return you get pull, ripped on, until the best part of you no longer exist. but remember...
you want to be better.
so next time you'll pore yourself out more.
you'll stay up later to talk to her while she falls to pieces in front of you.
you will blame yourself for the choices that they made
and you will continue to shatter yourself in hopes that some day giving everyone else a piece of you will make you feel halfway whole.
maybe some day you'll understand that giving the best parts of you away only changes you for the worse my love. and just like everyone else begs you to give them something, i'm begging you to rid yourself of her; for she will be the one that takes that heart from your neck and turns it to hell and i'm afraid you won't ever be the same again...