When I lay in my bed the first thought in my head is, "I wish I was dead."  Trust me you are better off without a crazy girl that has lost control of everything she knows.

My dead weight slowly sinks farther and farther down in the sea. Where the bottom is just out of reach. I can no longer see, for I have fallen blind.

Lost consciousness, nowhere to go.

Slowly spiraling out of control.

and I can't stop seeing you in my dreams
every night you walk into my head
I dont know how to make you leave
so sad will be the day
but you already forgotten me
so why can't I forget you too

when I looked at her,
she looked away.
and that was the moment,
my heart began to break.

Tuesday April 11th 2017
00:45
I'm sorry I treat you like crap,
You don't deserve that.
Every time I take a swing,
It comes right back.
Smack,
In my back.
The same song plays,
The music starts to fade.
When it goes away,
There will be nothing in my way.
Only emptiness I can see,
I really wish it was just you and me.
In my arms,
That's where you belong.
Fingers intertwined,
Like branches and vines.
Walks on the beach,
Turns into time under the sheets.

I went for a walk today.
I walked straight to the beach.
It was dark outside.
It was sunset and I was there to see the sun go to sleep.
I saw a familiar face.
I saw you in the distance walking across the water.
The sun set.
The sun set and all I could think about is you.
It was beautiful.
You are the only thing in my mind and I can’t seem to get you out of it.
It was nice.*
It would have been better if you were with me.

Monday April 17th 2017
21:21
I play the game of life and death
Driving down dimly lit roads
Eyes closed, holding my breath
Wondering what's next
To live in a constant state of sadness
Or to die and to be put to rest