I'm tired.
Tired of faking a smile,
Tired of pretending I'm happy,
Tired of being sad,
Tired of feeling alone,
Tired of the demons messing with my head,
Tired of the demons trying to control me.

Happiness is waking up in the morning and not regretting it,
Its looking at yourself, inside and out, and feeling satisfied with what you see,
Its something you see in people's eyes and in their smiles.

Happiness doesnt come from another person,
It doesn't come from money,
Or looks, Or anything in between.

Happiness is feeling safe and protected,
Its feeling wanted and loved,
Its being free, and being okay with who you are.

I miss your laugh,
The way it sounded and the way your entire body shook when you did.
I miss your smile,
The way it lit up your entire face and how contagious it was.
I miss your hugs,
The way your arms felt around me and how comforting they were.
I miss talking to you,
The way I could say anything and know you'd listen.
I guess what I'm trying to say is....
I miss you.

My loneliness was a rattle in the windows,
My sadness was a bottle on the bathroom floor.
You said something that I never wanted to hear,
You said you don't want me anymore.

You left,
You left just like everyone else did.
You're words were a gun.
And you left it loaded.

My entire world was flipped upside down,
My heart shattered.
You destroyed me,
You turned me into a beautiful disaster.

I want a boyfriend who makes me laugh and smile.
A boyfriend who gives me butterflies.
I want a boyfriend who will hold my hand when we walk places.
A boyfriend who will call me beautiful and kiss me when I least expect it.
I want a boyfriend who shows me that he cares.
A boyfriend who makes me feel important to him.
I want a boyfriend who will stay home with me on a Friday night and watch movies with me.
A boyfriend who will cuddle me and get fat with me.
I want a boyfriend who loves me.
A boyfriend who will stay for a while.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm clingy,
I'm sorry I'm a hassle,
I'm sorry Im needy and difficult,
I sorry I **** everything up,
I'm sorry I'm broken and more ****** up in the head than you will ever know,
I sorry I wasn't what you wanted,
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.