Chérie: Favorites

Oct 2013 Chérie

Bambi

I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain; the only thing thats real. ~ Nine Inch Nails
I wish that sometimes I can really show myself, without being questioned.
I want to speak my mind, without being blocked or suffocated.
What have I become. My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in thee end. ~ Nine Inch Nails
I know right when I publish this my grandma will call and question, so my mom will go on unpost, leaving me raveled, taken together, question in a box. Yet again I must be questioned.
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades roll by dragging my decaying body behind it.
Im to young to drive away.
Im to afraid to run.
What will happen when I get home today?
I question myself, I order myself.
It is killing me not to speak.
Yet I must remain quiet.
I am sorry, for I must remain concealed.
You did raise me right.
You did treat me well.
Its me.
Beneath the stains of time. The feelings disappear. You were someone else I am still right here. ~ Nine Inch Nails

Oct 2013 Chérie

Smothered

Oct 2013 Chérie

Clovina

Smothered

I'm breathing...
I'm breathing...

Sitting there,
I try to convince myself I'm breathing.

I'm breathing,
I'm alright...
I'm alright,
Am I not?

Slowly,
My breath diminishes,
They die out...

Slowly,
My tears cry...
My feelings overflow.

Smothered

It's a feeling that can't be explained.
It feels like you're Buried,
Buried beyond Deep,
And yet...
Your physical being is still there...
Trembling*
But it's beyond that.

It's pressure within your Mind,
Pressure within your Emotions
Pressure within your Voice....
You Tremble from that Pressure
But it's beyond that.

It Silences you.
It Breaks you.
It Burdens you.
You Lose.
You Start to Die
And then you Die.
But it's beyond that...
Because it Kills you.

*But it's beyond that...
Way beyond that...

Oct 2013 Chérie

A Face

Oct 2013 Chérie

Demaree

A Face

The face can show what words cannot convey
The sorrow we know: the tears on the cheek
It can reveal the love we cannot say

A promise on the lips: we won't betray
The spark in the eye: dreams to each unique
The face can show what words cannot convey

The worries we have known: a wisp of gray
A smile on the lips: a joy we seek
It can reveal the love we cannot say

The hair in the eye: one loss in our day
The grimace of pain: knowing we are weak
The face can show what words cannot convey

The chin sunk down low: the hardships that weigh
A glance up and down: desires we peek
It can reveal the love we cannot say

The heart may be shown through the eyes that may
Sparkle with tears we cannot help but leak
The face can show what words cannot convey
It can reveal the love we cannot say

Oct 2013 Chérie

no

Oct 2013 Chérie

maybella snow

no

wake up in the morning
to light
that isnt as bright as it used to be
as a child age eight
light meant the start of a day
when the sun was only up for a few hours
it seemed
now
the light
is dull and drags me through the day
to the night
where everything slowly
cr
    as
        he
             s
                          down
to smother
any inner light
i gained as a ten year old

i dont care anymore
i dont care for the light

Oct 2013 Chérie

Tomorrow I'm fine

Oct 2013 Chérie

Taylor B

Tomorrow I'm fine

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore

It's been so long now that it's just become a habit
Day after day I feed myself lies in hope that they will come true
I say I'm fine but I'm not
I have not been for a long time

Darkness has over come me and I feel empty inside
What's there to be positive about?
I can't even do good without something bad happening

I've stopped trying because what's the point
Nobody care about me
I'm all alone, everyone has left me to be

To be what?
I'm completely empty on the inside
Only a skeleton just barely making it through the day

My soul is gone I'm completely empty
My heart is all black, full of darkness and despair
What more is there to life

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore

When is tomorrow going  to come?
I can only say I'm fine so many times before
Before I break down and fall apart

Being alone with no one to care about me
About how I feel or what I do with my life
Because I don't matter to anyone anymore

They say it will get better
Don't get my hopes up because I know that's not true
I've gotten my hopes up too many times for them break down

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore

Oct 2013 Chérie

Proud

Oct 2013 Chérie

Victoria Jennings

Proud

I admit that my life
Is still an absolute disaster
But to think of all I've endured
And where I've reached
I can say I'm proud
I'm proud that
It's been almost one year
Since I last cut
And I'm proud
That I no longer
Have dependency on a therapist
And well now I can sleep in Saturdays
And I'm happy I'm his forever
And I'm proud we've been together
For this long
I'm stressed
And nothing is ever perfect
Because life is not
Perfect
And it never will be
But as of now
I'm okay
I'm happy even
And sure
I've been crying again
But being a teenager
And a female
Gives me the right to break down
When stressed and
I know
Change is coming
And coming fast
But I'll take it best I can
And try to make things
Work out in my favor
I'm not who I use to be
And that makes me proud
I'm someone who smiles
And can laugh
I can breathe without
A broken heart
Or a weight on my shoulders
And despite my responsibilities
I'll survive where I am
You see I finally have something to be
Proud of
Life
My life and how I've grown
How I try
Each and every day
I try my hardest
And no one can tell me I don't
Because when I wake up
I know my heart found its
Keeper
And with him
Everything else has finally
Begun to fall into place
And if it takes some time and effort
I'll make sure
Everything ends up okay
I won't go back
Not **EVER.