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 Apr 2013 ChawzzyScript
Red Starr
Broken girl
Folded over the curb
Neon pink wig
Halo on her head
Vomiting in the street
"Lose a contact?"
A smart *** says
Lost
She has lost more than that
Vodkas, beers, lemon drops
Spin her head
Completely around
Sea salt spray
Mists on her lips
Clears her mind
For a brief moment
Memories try to sneak back in
But the liquor swirls them away
******* on unsteady feet
Jostles her way
Back into the Riptide
Crowded with Halloween revelers
Sits, then slips off the
Retro bar stool
Asks for more punishment in a glass
Anything to make the pain push away
Even if just for a few hours
She's now had her fill
Halo a bit askew
Pink wig in place
Friends gather 'round
She's incapable of walking
Arms around each other
They make the long journey home
She gratefully passes out
On the cool, crisp sheets
Oblivious to the pain for several more hours
Avoided until she wakes up
To the cold, hard truth
There's no escaping it now
Broken,
I am consumed by the words in my head. With no canvas, no clean sheet to paint these expressions of emotions, that I carry so heavily in my heart.
The things I carry are worse than any man can handle, an average man would bend and break in half under this weight. Not me because I have lived these burdens and this weight is mine.
Like Atlas with the world on his back I have felt the burdens of my own heart, and these expectations of my family to be perfect. Although my friends look at me and know my failures but they can't lift this weight from my back.
Now I flex my muscles and I show my strength, in front of all these people who can never measure it or understand it. For my strength lies in a strong heart and soul. Where no one can measure the strength of my heart. My strength looks infinite but it is just the opposite.  it's the most fragile part of my life. Because with one goodbye, my world comes crashing down and the weight of these burdens are too much to bear. my heart and soul are crushed and I lay there under all my regrets. Until I can get back to my feet. And when that day comes, again, I will begin preparing myself to be broken."
Please rate and leave comments as this is my first poem I wish to reveal. Thanks
It's hard to talk to artists, see,
They've never made much sense
Their memories seem clouded
But yet I found one on a bench.
I didn't find the artist, no,
I only found his work
A broken, torn apart journal
A tattered, beat up book.
I opened to the first page
And saw a true sight to behold
Colors flew across the paper
In reds and blues and golds.  
The pencils must have danced
And the thoughts should have exploded
But what I had there in my hands
Was worth much more than noted.
I held his imagination
Every fiber of his thoughts
Every piece of information
That he ever had been taught.
The lines and circles spoke
Every word that he could not
They all told him not too
So he kept it under lock.
But there those drawings held the key
The secrets to his past
His present, future, all his hopes
'I wonder if they'd ask.'
He kept his secrets quiet
All his goals and all his dreams
I found his only outlet
His saving grace, it seems.
I looked through all the drawings
Some teasing, jokes, and grades
All expressed in colors
His feelings to create.
I never met this man that day
I still don't know him now
I wonder if he's happy
Or does he revel in the clouds?
See, artists are a piece of work
They're masters of the trade
Their specialty is feelings
Like the ones put on a page.
 Apr 2013 ChawzzyScript
catherine
in the
dark
with your body pressed against mine, you ask me questions
because you want to know my mind
want to know me
and not just the face you see

you ask me things like
what is your favorite color, food, embarrassing memory,
etc.
etc.
etc.

all pretty tame questions
ever break anything? you say and i assume you mean
bones so i tell you about breaking my wrist, the
snapped radius and the misplaced ulna
but you stop me
no, like,
broken something. you know?

something like someone’s heart?

and i think no nothing like that because i’m not sure
if anyone else has ever loved me
enough to be sad
i left

but i don’t say that
instead
i tell you about smashing plates against the wall
for fun
and when i’m done

you’re fast asleep.
There's nothing wrong with missing people

unless





you're a ******.







:)
But let's forget
About those meaningless worries
And jump into a river
We could go skinny dipping
As the sun melts off the side of the earth
Forget regret
And hold my hand, I know its cold
Ill calm your shivers
And warm your lips
As the trees turn to intricate silhouettes
Just pretend
we're wild & free; like they say we should be
We'll poison our little livers
With laughter and loss of cares
As we become more forgetful about tomorrow
Or the next
Day. Tonight, just me and you will
Drift, together, downriver
As glass bottles float around us, enclose us
Neglect the
Natural enquiries of how late it is
Or that it's getting darker
As we drown in eachothers presence
I recommend
You let yourself be decieved
And flow downstream. We slither
Softly bumping limbs underwater "accidentally"
Don't defend
Yourself. I know we aren't in love
But could we act it? I'll deliver you kisses
as we sink
Deeper into
The depths of a pretended plot
Of an olden day flim, where the girl gives her
Spontanious side a chance;
And the boy plays his part.
All you were was a distraction
And an illusion
So I didn't have to face, that I had lost
And he had won

I hate him
But hate myself, more
For not being good enough
For not walking out the door

And I used you, yes
I do apologise
For hurting you like I got hurt
I'm just like him, I realize.

I am just as much
A hypocrite
As a liar and a user
And him, I shouldn't critise

Because I did to you
What he did to me
Do not let me suffocate you
There's the door; leave.
We've mastered the art of finding sadness;
In a little house, inhabiting a tiny space
We understand its variations, its madness
We know its address, its hiding places

But happiness is more complicated
Rarely found, we're constantly searching.
Its attached to stereotypicality, abbrieviated
If not received, it causes constant hurting

It dwells over a vast continent
And thus the search is longer
We start to lose our confidence
The yearn for it grows ever stronger

The home of happiness has since grown
And iron lock placed on its door

The key seems lost, will it ever be found?
I think it lurks in disguised places
Not on sunny days, on lusious grounds
Or in gleeming eyes or smiley faces

It hides in misconception
Like a thief in the night
Drenched in deception
Ready to pounce, to fight

You off and those who stumble on
Sadness become addicted to the little house
And do not dare travel where they may get
Lost. But live in its hole, as a spinless mouse

We are terrified of the unknown
But we've never wanted something more
1.
Number: 2. Undiscovered
                3. Untamed
                 4. Untitled
                  5. Unamed
                   6. Unapproving
                    7. Unexplained
                     8. Untouched
                       9. Unchanged
                      10. Unharmed
                        11. Unchained
                         12. Unaccepted
                          13. Unaquainted
                           14. Unadmired
                             15. Unadaptable
                                1. un*desired
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