your arms
were wrapped around me
like the sun envelopes the day
with warmth and light
when i told you how happy i was
you replied,
"you deserve all of the happiness"
do you know
that i am the happiest
when i am enveloped in the warmth and light
that is your love

since i’ve been back
i have been writing less
i have been enjoying my experiences-
enjoying every day,
enjoying the company
this place brings me peace
and love
since i’ve been back
i have been loving myself more
and
i have been writing less

i regret how i felt
previously
to our recent encounter
i regret
that i ever acted out of foolishness
or
scared you in any way.
but i will never regret
being with you

i wish i could read your mind
but that would be an abuse of trust
so i must believe
that you trust me too
and will share when you are ready

both of us
must grow
and change
at our own
pace
i just hope
that we
will always
come back
to the same
place
together

i am worried.
i am confused.
i don't want it to be different.
i don't want it to be changed.
i want you.
i want us
to share the same
love
as before.

i have always fantasized about love
about being loved,
loving someone,
and bringing love into the world.
i have always worried that
i was unlovable
because
who would want to love
someone with so many
scars
&
bites
&
burns
&
open wounds?
someone who still fantasizes about love
when they have never seen it
outside of a fantasy