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charmaine Jul 2013
You have no idea how it feels to
pour your heart out and think they’re doing the same
when truth is they've been laughing at you.

You have no idea how it feels to
be good to the one who you think is
lonely and sad just like you.
when truth is they take more
than they should receive.

You have no idea how it feels to
lie awake at night
crying at the man in the moon
wishing he’s doing the same.
when truth is he’s sleeping
like a baby.

You have no idea how many
scenarios play out
and if he’s playing them too
when truth is he’s studying
the school.

believe those sweet smelling lies
while the truth rots in your brain.
You have no idea how it feels
when the person you love
stops loving you back.

You have no idea.
charmaine Jul 2013
He hurts me in ways,
I can't understand.
He chokes me when I'm drowning
And won't stop until I reach the sea floor.
He can play the victim;
While I feign the warrior role
And comfort him.
He plays both director and writer
And makes me the stagehand as he steals the screen
Then in the end, as the curtain comes down, he's drowning on the ocean floor.
charmaine Jul 2013
Some days
I think I'm
dead.
Not of body
But of mind,
It can't seem to think
And all I do is cry.
Why?
I don't know
It's the only thing
Letting me know
I'm *alive.
life is trying to bring me down, but i won't let it.
charmaine Jun 2013
I would go to church,
But I feel judged by the
People.
I'd rather worship alone,
Only God is listening anyways.
a thought i had late at night, when people aren't there for you, he is.
charmaine Jun 2013
Once I stopped letting my wrists bleed blood.
I turned to my legs who paralyzed in midcut.
Current events say I’m emo.
A dweebo, wannabe hero.
When all I try to hear is someone’s help me.
Tell, no.
Play telephone.
Secrets I’m best at, therapy I'm not.
Holding it in is all i got.
Letting it go only hurts my heart.
water my eyes and freeze my fringe.
charmaine Jun 2013
tug
how much can my heart take
I feel it’s being ripped apart slowly
Tugging and pulling
While its trying to stay whole.

It will **** me one day
And when it does I hope the pain will be quick.

End it all please.
I’m finished with the earth.
charmaine Jun 2013
Selfish
Thinking about no one but,
Your needs.
I was there from the start,
When you had no one but me,
It was us.
Together.
Telling me, I know nothing.
It breaks me to know that you,
See me as nothing more than,
A dummy.
Speaking only when spoken to,
As you let go,
Of the stick that you control me with,
And I gain the strength,
To raise my voice
I hear my mistakes, my past
It breaks me to see,
That you would stoop so low,
So *****,
Just to get the stage light off of you.
Tears have dried up,
They will never go away,
I just can’t reveal that part of me no longer.
Can’t describe the hurt
Betrayal
Pain that no human wants to suffer.
I want you to feel,
Just for a second,
One day
Listen to me,
And look in these eyes,
The eyes that have cracks in them,
They’ve dried up like a prune,
Life is no longer,
The glimmer is fading out,
It may be the last time,
I ever see the sunny side of things,
The grass on the other side of the fence
Feel the wind in my hair,
You only realize when it’s too late
Too late to save me,
Too late to make up
For everything,
It seems,
As I am *broken.
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