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As I sat on the backseat of your sister's car,
I knew.
I knew then that it would be the last
Of the unknown that I
Have cherished and loathed
For the longest time.

As I closed my eyes I
Wondered then,
Which one of them was going to fill me in
On what has been going on on
The other side
After all these years?

Father, you left me when I was five
But I couldn't do anything.
You seemed to forget that you had a daughter
But I couldn't do anything.
I searched for you through Friendster
through Facebook
even MySpace
But you wouldn't do anything.
I couldn't do anything.

As I sat on the backseat of your sister's car
About to meet you finally after all these long years
I couldn't do anything.

Had you rejected me
It would have been better
I could have gone crazy and screamed and thrashed and left
But you didn't do that sort of thing.

You hugged me
Along with everyone in the family
Even GrandMama cried as she hugged me
Twas as if the hugs could make up for the years
That went on by
Without you.

I did not grow up on hugs and
Kisses.
I seemed content in the berth of personal space
****** upon me at birth.

But then
Each and everyone of you was a
Hugger. And
I couldn't do anything.

I am not an angry mass of hate
And malevolence.
Gone were the days when
I had wished for your demise.

If anything,
I feared that I wasn't strong enough
For this. But
I couldn't do anything.
After 18 long years I finally met my dad, along with his siblings and my cousins. It was a reunion of sorts, a joyous occasion, but ultimately, a night of contemplation and a single soul was set free.
It brings to life
A violent monster in my stomach,
Clawing; Screaming;
Rushing to devour what's left of my sanity.
So powerful;
It steals my breath away,
And brings me to my knees,
And there's nothing I can do,
And that's it.
It's new, it's strange.
I can't decide;
This raw emotion all can see.
Unfamiliar and unnecessary;
But not entirely unnatural.
Tell me; tell me:
Who likes jealousy?
I overdid the punctuation but, hey, what can you do?
Eve
Let me sleep deeply as a man without complete reflection. Let me awaken perhaps still within the desire of my dream, to discover you, my dearest sweet Eve. Let me discover you suddenly evolved by divine decree, laying and warming yourself in cuddling by my side as if a part of me.  Let me warm all your limbs, let me warm your belly with mine.  Let me touch your soft hair, and lose myself infinitely in time as I gaze into your eyes.  

Alive I say you are to me, as hearts empowered, pound to cross eternity.  Lead me into your sweet garden of nectar and rose,   to feel the current of life’s well springs to join in warmth, our merging souls.  

Let us create the universe you and me.  Be my dimension, my time and being.  You as unique in creation as I. Let me touch you with my heart deep inside.  Let our love cross the heavens and earth to occupy.  Let it be the volition of the deepest sea. Let me love you, let me love you; let me kiss you.  

Please let me not awaken yet so that I may dream of loving you, my dearest sweet Eve
Come.., let me paint you a mental picture,

there’s a room, with a window and door,

there inside,  a lost and broken man,

with head in hands, sat down on the floor.



A table, looming large, takes centre stage

it’s full of papers, cast hastily about,

and as his eyes gaze sorrowfully on them,

he starts to cry, when he really wants to shout



He wants to shout out loud in his anguish

he wants to scream, and blame it on fate,

he’d taken a gamble and lost all that mattered

one roll of the dice, meant it was much too late.



His love was gone, and never returning

she was gone, taking his heart in her hands

she was so tired of his broken promises,

leaving him alone, with their two golden bands.



Come..., let me paint you a mental picture,

as hope rising, he stares at the door,

and there she was, his love and anchor

One last chance, he whispers,  just one chance more!!
LadyP © 2010
 Oct 2010 Charlotte Greenstock
ju
Can I come to you as I am,
in secret-
brimming with the need to be held?
Can I lay hot whispers on your skin
then taste how they make you feel?
Can I show you how to touch me,
how hard to press?
If I cry
can I hide salty tears
in the soft curve of your neck?
Can I bite, ever so gently,
before I scream?
Can I be your lover,
without you loving me?
Can I, please?
I fear my sense
Of right and wrong
Are skewed beyond
Repair.

For all I do
Is think of you
Regardless of if you're
There.

The way your body
Knows my own and
Matches it with
Heat.

Is quite enough
To make it tough
To focus or to
Speak.

— The End —