We may be apart,
don't think i will treat you different,
I will forever try to make you smile
even on your darkest days,
I will always call you beautiful
when your mind is clouded with doubt
I still will pray that god will help you
and see you though your troubles
in case you lose all hope.
None of these things i have to do
and most days you wonder why i bother
and yet no matter what i always try.
I feel the need to try,
I want to try
I will forever be here to catch you
whenever you start to fall,
i want you to rise high and shine bright
because above all
you deserve it.

The aching pain of your absence
still lingers in my near empty heart,
Feelings unchanged by time
people telling me i should forget and move on
and that it will fade but it doesn't,
all it does is tear me apart bit by bit,
they don't fade,
not because i don't want them to
but how they stuck so tight they are part of me.
Part of the best thing
that has happened to me in forever.

look at the world around you
look at the way the birds of the morning
sing the same sweet melody every day
look at how the wind can bend the trees
but never do they bow to it
breathe in the atmosphere and the air
polluted it may be, it holds everything you need
marvel at how easily breathing comes to you
even when you feel you cannot
look at the way the sun never fails to rise
and the stars appear in different places each night
be awed by the constant rotation of Earth
and the way we do not notice how it turns
look at the animals, the fox that creeps into your garden
and the deer that runs from the wolves in the forest
feel the rain pounding against your skin
every drop lasting only a mere few seconds
before it's short life is over and purpose is gone
but the storms never stop being beautiful
and the rain both cleanses and creates
new life is being formed every second
all the atoms are working together
in perfect unison
Look at this world, really look.
Isn't it remarkable?

we are all plagued by the same
haunting disease.
every step on this wearied road
is just a step in our prison.
esoteric dreams of unchanging bliss
are humanity's liturgy.
the only steadfast thing in
this oxymoronic world is
dissatisfaction.
we are foundering in it,
wishing to drown already.
the romantics looked
to love,
now we look
to apathy;
but this prison
has no escape,
except death.
so we fell in
love
with the grim,
when fantasy
failed us.
now we sit here,
entranced with the mud but
dreaming of beaches.
meaningless,
meaningless,
meaningless.
we are the living dead.

darling
please come inside
I've never seen it with my own two eyes
but I can imagine you igniting your addiction with a flick
inhaling the smoke
are you trying to start a fire in the bottom of your lungs?
or keep one burning?
I might ask you one day
when you're looking up at the sky
memorizing the constellations once more
you may close your eyes then
are you trying to create a universe between your rib bones?
penciling in stars like letters
writing a book of
expanding//contracting
beginning//ending
with each breath
starting the same way it finishes
until the point of collapse

darling
please come inside
it's so cold
your veins may freeze
is your addiction keeping you alive?
or is it killing you from the inside?
it took a part of me once
your addiction was once another's
it left with him
and took a piece of me with it
I've never been the same
and I'm getting tired of looking at hospital walls
but I can't tell you that
I've seen the inferno behind your eyes
that you're so desperately keeping alive
so I simply say
"hurry back"
instead of

"darling,
please come inside"

I couldn't help it,
the need was too great,
far mightier than I,
I just couldn't ignore its whispers.
I lay on my bed in agony,
writhing at the thought,
that I would take my life
and ignore the cries
of pain it would cause.
I panicked.
How did I know
the night would end with this,
The first was blunt and upsetting,
The second was Sharp
and worked like a charm.
It felt better than I thought it would
far better,
I feared it would hurt too much,
but it was comforting,
I dont regret it
and maybe will sleep tonight,
I have yet to try.

I am sorry, so sorry
To have hurt you like this
I wish my life were brighter
So that I would not be so afraid
Of letting you become a part of it
But life for me is a scorching desert
That would put hell's brightest embers to shame
And my heart is crippled and bleeding
From what he did to me
I have been shattered into so many shards
I cannot let you come any closer
Lest you cut yourself on my broken pieces.