The experiment is maliciously cold, dangerously cunning-
A wrong sort of rapture
An invitation made in amusement
People surround you like the frigid flames in a hyena’s eyes just before it pounces
The experiment is brutality, a completely psychological Auschwitz-
A nightmare down memory lane-
But whose memories are they?
The experiment (seems) to work by gas lighting and technology-
That’s all it needs- cigarettes and soup
But who’s at the watchtower?
I have no delusions of reprieve- despite what people tell me
They- the illusions, delusions, holograms of people reaching out in “love”
Your love is a weight, just like mine is to you
Yes, I bring sorrow to you, but out of this sorrow something was created
Something you can never know because it can’t be possessed-
Too many ideas and too much time…
Still searching for one thing- not love, but truth
Have a roast, lay it on me
Don’t hold back because you don’t want my blood on your hands
It’s already been spilled
You live with my faults and my dilemmas and my neurosis,
But I must live everyday in the body that houses these faults, dilemmas, neurosis.
Still they turn on their Piscean baths, expecting a scorpion not to drown-
A crematorium with no weapons-
Inanimate objects speak, but humans gurgle out white noise,
A poison formed first in the brain then saturated by the tongue
And all the demonic children….
I am that demonic child. I am that vat of toxic waste.
I am a liar, a sinner, a drunk, a madman, a beggar, a freak, a thief
My pain fascinates others as they tap on the fishbowl glass,
Making me shudder
Are these the people of God?
Am I a person of God?
Most likely neither
But how did it come to this?
And really, what would Jesus do?
Jesus probably wouldn’t live in America
And love isn’t enough
They crave conformity, obedience-
What a sick, twisted practice
The sacrifice of one for all
Don’t make any waves, but here’s an ocean

They say the more you know the more you suffer
How does this apply to the invisible man
The rebels had their day, funding all their movements
How does this apply to what we don’t understand

They have us writing with an inkless pen
As they offer us slave women draped in violet
But all we want is a dark, dark room
To be alone in all our violence

If only we pursued our happiness-
But the world would fall apart
The strongest arm stretches the bow
The stars left behind just depart

Stand up on your toes if you want to see the future
Grasp all the knowledge from the forbidden tree
Talk about Beethoven as you interrupt their prayers
Seek up that monster who only sleeps to dream

The line for the ladder is longer than the world
But skip the elevator, just take the stairs
Try to do what seems impossible
Fixing what’s broken beyond repair

The meter is ticking, so thank your lucky stars
Don’t fantasize about glory, just ride the twirling tide
Respect all the animals, they’re perfect in themselves
**** man the hunter, ‘less he hunts his own kind

Persecuted by the world
By nature and by fellow man
All cause it won’t overcome
That fear which it can’t understand-
The agony of being different
The dull pains of being weird
The Neverending appetite
To fit in with the group’s veneer-
But now I’m here
Too late to turn back
So unbutton my eyes, give me a true tongue
And try not to cut me some slack-
Ride out the storm
Turn some blue into black
Learn arts of satisfaction
Even if it’s all an act
While I envy all the animals
Who get by on so little-
A bird fumbles in the trash
And flies away contently

Even the purest compassion
Has its violent edges
But only when it comes to you
I wanna hug you, I wanna kiss you
I wanna love you, I wanna **** you
Get me off this wretched unmerry-go-round
You reach out with caring gestures
A smile and maybe a frown
But you only care about yourself
All the little things you did-
So cheap, so unimaginary
You put me in a den of vices-
A house of ill repute
And still I want to flash
All my colors for you
But you’ll never see them
You see in shades of grey
Which go to procreate
My feeling blue, my red of rage
Now there’s nothing left to say except
Are you alive?
Are you alive?

Fall, fall hard, with every cell of your being
Smack into it
Let it seep and fill, congest your thought
Your eyes turn to owls
Your ears turn to bats
Feel the weight of a million clouds trapped
They will blow your body apart
From trigger and touch
Compression of love

Strapped to the moon like Prometheus bound
But the eagle keeps eating my memories
In their place remains black holes-
Spaces only my heart can fill
So my head pumps as I forget
Sailing along the Lethe
And yet I feel so ancient-
I remember a feeling
And that’s not allowed
If and when I shall be born again
I fell, prostrating instantly
But who was receiving such reverence
Aliens, gods or devils?
Auras, halos or space helmets?
Then you came and rescued me
But your ship was dark and obscure
The safety net disappeared-
I was back to the future in chains