Some people can get just the right LPs.

Some people can get just the right CDs.

Some people can pick out the right tea and the right amount and kind of jeans.

Me, I couldn't figure out what to buy if I had to, and I find myself the guy who wants to know what to buy.

Money grows on trees to me so actually that really isn't true, that's why I want to know what to buy.

I throw it away on things I don't need.
But believe in giving someone some money is sorta investing in them like they're ready for show business success or somethin'.

Or sometimes I give people some money just for the hell of it.

I'm incompetent maybe, or a soft-touch, period.

Or else what I think is both philosophical and philanthropic.

(I give to charities as much as I deem fit.)

So pass off money giving point blank as giving to charity point blank.

Some of my money gifts are good cause I bet.

I still don't know what the whole problem is as what some lack of it has to do with any competency or lack thereof, or my financial success or lack thereof.

I do pass off frivolous giving, though as due to fear of being mugged sometimes.

Things have gotten fuzzy to me ever since my breakdown, so I figure it's just wanting to yes, buy almost anything.

Figure that out - of course, you gotta have money to buy, but I think there's some sorta kickback, and that what comes around goes around means.

But I'm also easy come easy go.

Who knows?

Snapshot,
Crapsshot,
Of course this one
Has nothing to do with Beth Tapscott
That is, only if you have some gumption
Rack it up
Sack it up
Crack it up
****** it up
Frap it up
But only the lonely
Ah but only the lonely

And then there's Don Riddles,
Clint Eastwood,
"A-Rod",
Rod Sterling, if he's still alive
and James Brown of course did
Usually they're dark
but blondes like Carrie Underwood
do and Mamie Van Buren did
Eve Arbor did
Johnny Carson did
and of course Casey Stengel did.

*Charles Sturies

Kyra
doesn't give anyone beera beera
Rosaline
doesn't have a friend in Joseline
Reena
doesn't mind Tina
Eva
could be a typical diva
Janine
doesn't seem to be sanguine
Laurel's
favorite color is probably coral
Sheila
doesn't remind me of a monster as in gila
Abe
probably doesn't need to be saved
Casey
probably likes pizza as in Shakey's
Soledad
probably has been in the caverns names Carlsbad
Fredricka
wishes she had a dog as in a golden retriever
Irene
maybe models herself after Darlene
Jane
she's sane
Joan
doesn't moan
over losing a loan
on and on

You got the nicest taut
**** and I like the way
your pants hug your ****
cheeks in back.
You're not lazy
and I look for that
in "all my women".
You seem to bear
with me on some
of my obsessions and
hypochondria
and you must secretly
have a sense of humor,
you're clever enough.
Your face is pretty
but in an addictive way
that I'd be afraid of losing you
to another guy
if we were going together.
You're nice and feminine
but up enough, it seems
on some contemporary spot
and what I find is dear
enough contemporary
music that you're into can
be hard somewhat since
the music can depress one, I feel,
and some of it make me
like it or not I'm sorta tough to myself
suicidal.
So I figure I'd enjoy you as a wife.
I've got a number of other chicks
I'm interested in too, but yes,
feel, with you, I wouldn't be
biting off more than I can
chew.
Salude

It's time for cleansing
by writing
the mechanics of which
seem immaterial.
But my frustration
with man's inhumanity to man
The ineptness it leads to, doesn't,
and the ludicrousness that
I feel in my own self
as I see myself
mirrored in them
tells me
there's a bottomless
pit
of criticisms
lying within me
such that
I'm a typical bellyacher.
I wish I'd cut it out
and after that not look for
flaws in others
especially cruelty to dogs,
children, and elderly women.
I'm as guilty as the next guy.
In other words, life
is fascinating.
Why not the adventure
of it lead to you
question from
that which you pay.

Nicholas Tremulis, Wade Hayes,
two of my favorite singles but rather
obscure next to Paul McCartney
and Stevie Wonder.
Louis Lucas and Ronnie Levick,
rather obscure Bandstanders compared
to Kenny and Arlene and Justin and Bob.
Joe Mota and Ed Perry,
two obscure Illini compared
to **** Butkus and Johnny "Red" Kirk
Loren Tate and Bob Rasmussen,
two Champaign-Urbana New Gazette
sports writers not very known
compared to nationally based sports writers **** Shoop and **** Young
Obscurity vs. fame -
Is it necessary?
Just like
poverty vs. wealth -
Is that necessary?
I just wish we all could be wealthy and famous!

*Charles Sturies

Rock the boat by the Hues
Still I Wanna Get Next to you by Rose Royce
an instrumental hit - i can't think
of the name of it by Rohanon
Fly Robin Fly - by the Silver Convention
You're a Native New Yorker - I can't think
of who by
You're the One That I Want
by Olivia Newton John and John Travolta
If i Can't Have You by Yvonne Elaman
and more, more, more by
Andrea True Connection

Old Mother McCreery
Played on her washboard.
Time for nursery rhymes
That aren't worth a dime
But seriously
Yeah steel band music
On the corners of the streets
In Miami
In the old days,
Improvised bands with
All sorts of
Improvised instruments
And little boys
Playing on their miniature set of bongo,
Ukuleles, and harmonicas
All
Music in different ways.

Kristy McNickle beaming at me in
a picture when she was still nice.
Eva Mendes with a curled upper lip
like she knows who I am and she
wants me.
Adriana Diaz gazing at me displaying
her body wares discreetly
under a nice dress on the morning
CBS news.
Having Margaret Brennan on the
CBS evening news muttering
that she wants me back I guess
she thinks as a follower
of hers
oh heck I could go on and on
about some of my fantasies.

Dudes who think they're cool
studs and *** symbols who are
slimey and adenoid cases
Non-combat vets who they're
combat vets.
Followers who think they're
leaders.
People who have delusions of
grandeur.
There're other people
who are way better.
Some of the shady looking
people in politics today.
People faking eccentricity
because the think it's going to
get 'em a better deal medically
you know,
We say the all-round man
symptoms where guys think they're
a combination of John Wayne and
Jimmy Dean with shades of
Vincent Van Gogh thrown in
Relevent gay people who imagine
their lives to be perfect
Certain plastic TV shows being in
fashion as well as kinda tacky food.

Diamond Dibs
Eccentric to the Chili Peppers
Birdseed Stains on Rock of Gold
Hard Headed Boston Mama
Glass Stains on a Rough-Hewn Mistress
Holy Tomati and Sauce
Westward **
All About "Chuck"
I'll Name You
How Dare You
Icy Breeze on Static Type
It's Hot in Here
and finally
Ghost of a Chance Too

My once again "girlfriend" (black chick)
makes me think of things of the lectors in
white heads philosophy
Janet Jackson makes me think of the
residence in Einstein's theory of relating
in unusually **** black
secretary
here at the hospital makes
me thinking of the hard rocks, how they compare,
and their essence
Marilyn Monroe makes me think of
the "spirit of 76" at the beginning of
the local 4th of July parade in Champaign
and the ways and where fires or
the 3 figures
Pave Prentiss I find hard to compare
to Pinifela Evan in looks although
they look alike in the face to me.
and soon!

The first kind of carnival I encountered besides at the county fair was a huge one on the far outer reaches of the North Bronx on the way to Yonkers and White Plains call Freedomland.

I remember Disneyland and the black licorice drops there at the old time confectionary store.  I hope to go to Disney World in my lifetime.

AS far as a regular circus I went to one when I was on a locked ward (we were let out under supervision) at the Lyons New Jersey UAMC.  I was so desperately feeling like a failure due to confinement, and felt such hopelessness, that I contemplated joining the circus as a roustabout, but it seemed futile in the big picture, after all, I felt because I'd just be going from the frying pan into the fire success or lack thereof wise.

I think I noticed a certain clown looking at me out of the corner of his eyes and reading my mind there and letting me know I'd mad e the fright decision, and seeing a choice female acrobat stride by that reminded me that I wanted to start a family someday and stars of circuses are probably kept separate from the roustabouts.

I can remember going to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey circus with my mother as a kid and being thrilled at the taste of the cotton candy, the lion tamer doing his thing , the smell of the sawdust, and the ringmaster of that 3 ring circus and his whip.  I was in awe.

In the meantime I was going to local carnivals and trying my hand with the pellet gun shooting sitting ducks that passed by in front of the king in the hall of mirrors, and going on the roller coasters and the Ferris wheel.

Later I went to the Barnum and Bailey circus as an adult and the trapeze artist, especially the female ones and , for example the parade of the Arabian horsed, thrilled me too.

I also took my foster son to a carnival and the sorta juvenile delinquent erstwhile deprived kid-he was, I though.  I got a thrill out of him seeming impressed.

Enough of this, not that it's syrupy sentimentality, which I find enough in my poetry to have a sense of failure there but maybe kind of exercise in senility.

Trust,
Respect,
Physical compatibility,
Intense passion,
Fascination,
Fondness,
And acceptance.

That they grind their teeth
That they have a thing about
That they worry about being seen watching MAS*H
That they're considered crass
That they need to empty the trash more
That they're temperamental unnecessarily
That they're fruitte'
That their hands smell like lard
That their women have dishpan hands
That they can't get the dirt out from underneath their fingernails
That they get **** on their hands when they wipe their ***
and that sometimes their hands smell like **** therefore, or rusty tap water anyway.
Let's get real.
He said judge ye not.

I like a tough steak at a regular steak house
(I'm one of those people that doesn't have to have everything tender)
Filet Mignon the spaced out king
pricey Prime Rib
a juicy T-Bone
steak kabobs
a decent well-done steak sandwich,
the non-fatty round steak that
mother used to make
a real rare piece of steak
a cooked by me steak at a
real nice steak house
where the gimmick is cook your own
except for their steak kabob
same with Mister Steak,
that and Outback Steak House in general
Longhorn's will do for something like that!

City lights talk to me
as I travel through the night
on the interstate
by car, by bus
or as I can see on a train
or from an airplane looking down.
Even the lights and so forth
of small cities, towns, small towns, and villages
that I travel through
speak to me.
A dirt road on a farm
or small town highways
and roads as they talk.
Yeah New York City and
the character it has of its own
at night especially
and driving the van with the cops honking
and people streaming
into the streets.
Yeah looking up at the jet airlines
at night as they talk to one with
their lights twinkling
This is soul to me, especially
Cleveland at night
and the Baltimore Bethany at night
and looking at the nooks and
crannies of big city ghettos
as you pass though on a
Greyhound during the day and night.
Yeah the chills you can get
especially at night
and daydreaming that
the 2 songs - Hot Child in the City
by Nick Gilder and You
Belong to the City by Glen Frey
as you waltz through big city
streets especially at night
thinking you're a tough
guy with epilepsy or something as you start
shaking or a been-around
drugster like I fancy myself

Commotion,
the promotion,
then locomotion.
How can they understand the location
of their next vacation
when they feel no feeling of elation
and just experience more constipation.
Proms.
Cremation.
Pronto.
Relations.
The End.
Yes a bitter pill to swallow
but nobody's hollow
it was worth it
to know that.

Listen to my heartbeat heart line beat
to the beat we got
only one and one I
fear the reaper
when it comes to the young
killer in shackles Ball and Chain;
Yeah Janis Joplin’s version of the song,
and the discriminate use
of *******
and bang a gong
and get it on
and caress
not stink the young
Better hit a love run
Someone got their dovegun
Ball and Chain heartache.
Tom and Bob’s cheesecake –
run, run
Heartache gun.

Come away
with me
to the ship that never sails
on Santa Barbara's reef
South of course
of the infamous Santa Maria.
Oh ship
that holds no one
misses no earthly passenger
and lifts up
those one hundred luft balloons
to the eyes
of a Spaniard

Raspy voiced
human ****
so they think
not the women
but unabiding fake Christians
the kind some of us Muslims want to omit
so we hear who "Christians" who speak all
sorts of complicated sophistications
everywhere
God will punish them
for being sacrilegious
so says the Koran?
For your eyes only
belong to the greyness
of a multitude of eyes
staring at
or basking in glory
son
to be anointed though, too?

My gait
Can wait.
My fate
With a mate.
Can wait too.
I just want a soulmate.
Yea but i know I'm a solitary man
O.k. then yeah solitaire
And solitude
Both
I guess
I'll pass a test,
Don't you fret.

"The trigector" uttered by **** Vita
"Nothing but the foot of the net" when a fighting Illini shot would go swish uttered by Tom Schroeder who would broadcast the old
University of Illinois basketball games
"Lofted by a single" in baseball,
"exploded for yardage" in football,
"Gathering undue boards" about rebounding in basketball,
"The Murderous Row" talking about the old power-hitting New York Yankees of 1972
"Cinderella Teams" or "Underdog Teams" who went far
"The Bronx Bombers" referring to the Yankees again,
the "Baby Bombers" referring to the present power-hitting Yankees of Newcomb's Greg Bird, Gary Sanchez, and, of course, Aaron Judge.
These are just some of my examples of sports slang and clichés I like.

Circus catcher,
Max Patkin in a total clown outfit,
Willie Mays remembered,
hot dogs,
the soothing nature of baseball on TV,
talk of a Yankee rebirth,
me projecting that the Cubs
will repeat
if Jason Heyward spells Dexter Fowler
the breezes of spring
appropriate spring clothing,
major league baseball box scores again
right under the fresh major league baseball
standings in the sports section
college baseball on ESPN (I guess it's on already)
teams filling out their 25
man rosters,
sweat of the brown, rooting
for your team,
these are just a few of the signs
of the rite of spring

It's the country side of heaven
that says she's not you.
She don't love you she's just lonely
Haiku

Stefani, Gwen,
I know you got the sen sen
And me Sturies, Charles
I hope you think I'm darling
If you even know who I am
Also hope with resistance
You eke out an existance
That will lack in indifference
Over me,
Over me,
Over me.

The only way to learn is the hard way
so some people say.
I like subtle teaching.
Let it hold sway
but if you think you're dense
then there's no false pretenses here,
getting hit on the head
with the truth thru a can of mace.
You obey.
Why not obey is an
institution emphasized
societe'.
"Get in line."
"Cooperate
and graduate, or else."
"hear what I say.
It's all the same.

It's me, being a broken record
Yeah the expression of Zep-pul
in as in they're good but most people
cared about what they consider an obscure
rock group from "across the water"
Wooo, Awesome - words they say that really describer
something just here in the States to
them that get on my nerves since the
people who utter them find themselves
so worldly I want to know what are they doing being patriotic for.
Tolkien novels and those movies with
Daniel Radcliffe - I'm big deal since
most Americans are about fantasy with a
European bent.
Far out describing a crazy person seems to
be implying that the crazy are a bunch
of simpleton communists if what my
guess is by what they mean by far out is correct.
These are just a few of the utterances of
pinkos in the country who in my opinion want
to overthrow the federal government.

Suggested topics seem cogent.
Compliments seem in total
Constructive criticisms seem un loco
Insights seem pronto
and there's practically even something about
how I view the Lone Ranger and Tonto.
The gripe about
obscure references to songs
seems chronic, as in, for me, a tonic
and the criticism about
my ****** appetite for my "girlfriends"
references and emphasis on blacks
seem frank
like I'm not a crank.
All in all
I've got to be less abstract,
yes, abstract,
and use a little more, in general, tact,
and be frank,
about how I ran
and how I like to think I'm in
a real think tank.
Mod America
and yeah Erica Jung
as in fun

The birds chirp
We end with a lurch
on we to the church
and no more of a search
for glam and glitter
and wondering what is Twitter
Hold my hand.
I cant help it I'm a ham
and got this thing about 'Nam
and Uncle Sam
and being a Yankees fan.
Let me run your ****
but I'm not looking to scratch it.
You'd probably enjoy
giving me a slap
on the back and telling me what is a ******.
Where's the melody?
In that we're both new.
I'll scratch you back
You scratch mine
But a couple of lovebirds
as we hear sounds
that we're in love, natch
From melody de mens to
the story of love
we hear things all right
real things on into the night

If i could tell a tale
About a long, true Texan,
I'd go back to Tex-Mex
But free freddy fender
From all responsibility
For Tex.
Tex was a dog of a guy
Although a nam vet
He's struck me
As totally lost.
He couldn't function
At even the lowest level
Oh he had his cowboy hat
And his boodies
But his lips curved
And he was, yes, naive beyond all belier
I could go on further
About him but I won't.

Do you like good music
that sweet soul music?
Is it in his kiss?
Is it in his kiss?
Do you wanna know?
Do you wanna know?

That is the same one I like –
the beat to Shotgun by Jr. Walker
and the All Stars
It makes me feel militant
like I’m attacking the Cong
or leaning on
the 4th of July celebration
for “the dudes” in front
to attack the bang-a-gong crown
if they throw Molotov
cocktails at
‘em
and brissel with pigtails
Blockbuster wasn’t like this.
The DVD business seems sick
compared to Dead-Eye ****
who harks back to a character names
Ben.
Why because I love you
Shy because I help few.
Why Gentle Ben and **** Nixon
maybe -
to go along with a certain beat.
I just want to savor
the past I guess
and think I did my best.


from the Frankie Avalon song “Why”

Like when my best friend
signed a 1049 (volunteering on a form) for Vietnam
rather than volunteering out loud
like he was giving in to the paper tigers
lifers
when mother and father both died,
when my wife scolded me when
we were going together for having
kinda like a girlfriend
at a summer job on Cape Cod
when James Brown died
when a black car here
at the Danville VA more or less
so seemed to me
to be accusing me of racism
at the beauty of patriotism
I've noticed periodically in my life.

The soft and tan and young and lovely
Makes us all think life we're lovely-
But don't get delusional-
You're not little Miss Sunbeam
Soft and tan and young and lovely...
Soft and tan and young and lovely...

Danville's minor league baseball
team I got a request to write about
just like that one about Dan.
It's fun to go to their stadium
at dusk.
The sun still beats down.
The concessions are prompt and tasty.
Of course the players' homes
are scattered all around.
They've got ability, of course -
you can't even make little league
without being somewhat good,
and some of the players
rose to play in the majors, although
I can't remember names.
The stadium was the original place
that they made a movie at
about Babe Ruth called The Babe
with John Goodman playing Babe.
The last coach seems competent.
They have I guess a raffle
but being a bad luck artist
I don't pay attention to stuff
like that.
They have a good public
address system and the help seems
competent,
and there's a good cross-section
of people in the stands
some of whom are fascinating to
look at.
They usually win when I go
and even have an elevator
for the disabled or
handicapped.
Yeah the Dans -
Lets give em' a hand -
a night at the ballpark
with them is a pleasure
although for certain people
a night there might
haunt them with memories
of what might have been
for them in a yesteryear
what with some of their
players gone in a couple
of years, the ghosts of
future and past big
leaguers, the wooden benches, and the
gratitude on some of
the fans' faces just
to watch a single game

Roast pork and mashed potatoes
with pork gravy on both,
biscuits and gravy,
chicken and noodles,
beef and noodles,
spaghetti
roast turkey and mashed potatoes
with turkey gravy on both,
BBQ chicken,
polish sausage
filling tasty
and that'll put hair
on your chest.
good grub,
sure a little fatening
but it'll make you tuff.
smother it with
onions
and watch it disappear those bunions
I don't know
whether it's down home
but it'll stop you
from wanting to roam.

Another world championship
comes into view
that is, if the pitching holds up
and they maybe get Coby from Detroit.
And maybe work Glybe Torres and
Andular and Clint Fegie into
the scheme of things and maybe
Requito Kyle Schwarbe from the Cabs
That's quite a few ifs but sure
they got the premier slugger in baseball
he sounds like even ore of an CBI
man than Judge
and will make them pitch to Judge more.
He sounds like a great public
relations figure and the endorsements
will motivate him too...
Maybe he'll be the designated hitter
as opposed to Schwarbe or else
he'll take up on outfield, right field slot,
then the Yankees could move Aaron
and trade Brett Gardner for a pitch
My Yankees are back in the business
of bringing Romans
to New York again.
The Kicks are back for me too
having hung out in NYC for a while
among other reasons

Jesus was the first hippie,
One of few and the greatest of all.
If hippies who are people are sincere souls full of love.
It's suprising what different sizes
And varieties there are. Tommy James
Seems like a great one when he
Sings- Love, love is the answer. I'm
Sure he's sincere. I think the
Beatles really didn't mean it
When they sand -All you need
Is love.

Go between the pages
Go between the sheets
Go between the farrows
Go between the bottoms
Go between the treats
but my little love ant
find your red skin
on another street
where we both can meet
and I can crush you
with my feet.
My ant
signifies
a glow worm
of that one street
where the Inkspots
and thek Brothers
both can meet
Even ants are precious
as they creep into
our life
letting us know
especially and also
what above is precious

Rexon the Rez,
see there's a rendezvous
with tex
so rex and tex
can be
in the rez
forever.
Where is that rez?
tex asks
it's where thefeos are.
feps?
meta-pattt!
drop?
not Marilyn Monroe!

The main leaf
has lines in it
that last a life time
just like your life line
in palm reading.
It smells of wetness and parchment,
like nothing special falling from a tree in archment
Gimbel's and Macy's
it says it seems like an either-or
classness or cheapness
but the assumptions there about either one is simply a bore
The tree gleams
and it's infinite when it portrays the lust of the leaf
it seems
and you can see a motif
the glistens for ever more

The local news
keeps me
feeling imbued
not subdued,
having no feeling of being lewd
or too new
or in lost cool
or for lack of mind fuel,
or for excuses about
being physical gruel
or in being Dartmouth bound as in being one of the chosen few
or famous like Pete Newell
or someone like Bruce Newell
or Paul Buhle