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 Mar 2014 Charles Barnett
fdg
my mind is static
is it possible to go blind by trying desperately to keep my eyes open
so they can reassure my brain that I am okay
I am okay
okay
okay
I don't feel very okay,
and my eyes are not seeing anything okay, either
 Mar 2014 Charles Barnett
Morgan
It's a beautiful night
and I wish it was enough
to keep my mind from racing
It's getting warmer
and I wish it was enough
to melt the ice in your veins
You've been listening to too much
Nirvana
I've been thinking too much
about what you've been doing
I used to argue with you
for chain smoking on the edge
of your bed
at 3 in the morning
If you saw me now
you'd call me a hypocrite
And I'd probably laugh it off
Like I wasn't ashamed of
the way I've been living
Last May
I covered my scars in tattoos
Cause you said it'd stop me
from making new ones
But you didn't calculate
how much flesh is on a human's body
If you saw me now
you'd ask me how
I let it get this bad
And I'd probably act like
I knew the answer
Ha
I heard you got lost on the way
to your new job
and turned around
Well
I know
I was always the first
to call you stubborn
But
If you saw me now
You'd call me a ******* hypocrite
*Cause I've been lost for so long
And I can't remember the last time
I stopped to ask for directions
 Mar 2014 Charles Barnett
Odi
They kissed you with that mouth
Wrote books about you
Took pictures and hung them up for beer ads
For humans with high testosterone to ogle
While they ******* the top of a beer bottle
Like it will bring their fathers acceptance
Back into their eyes.
Your nine inched heels gave me whip lash
Your ½ inch eyelashes gave me heartburn
Your spit
Indigestion
Because they kissed you with that mouth.
And you still believe,

You asked for it

You still believed you were not worth getting out of the hood for
The hood
what good is the hood and the hood-rats

You ******* ***** in alleyways

All 10 of them lined up
said I might as well have the money upfront
If I'm gonna **** **** I'm getting paid for it

They bashed your head into concrete so hard.
You forgot how your mothers voice sounded like
Almost forgot how your uncles knuckles tasted like,
I don’t know your story
I don’t know your name
I don’t know you
I just know that your friend
And my friends
Last night
Came to the conclusion
That you were a ****
And you were asking for it
You asked for your head to be bashed into concrete
And hey maybe you did
Maybe you wanted something to hit you hard enough to make you forget
The hate inside
The misogyny you swallow
and wash down the drain
maybe you were there in front of 10 guys because you wanted to know what power felt like
what being wanted felt like
because you thought you were worth the money
but they didn't
because maybe that's what you asked for
because maybe your mother taught you to get high and surrender with glazed eyes
rather then take your higheels off and fight

because your laughter sounds more broken than you do
because your eyes hold remnants of your skull
because you remember the taste of your blood too keenly
because my friends, my female friends who are not evil or sexist

my male friends the protector of women
came to an agreement
you asked for it
put yourself in the position to
smell the inside of your brain
because your blood meant power
because finishing them off
meant swallowing or bleeding
and you did some of both because
maybe you chose survival
because maybe you came in kicking naked and maybe thats how you wanna go out with
another mans hands down your throat
some to aid air some
to constrict

weather you bleed or swallow you are only
emptying out

and I tried to explain that to your friend and my friends but
there is so much anger about what happend to you
and none of it is directed at the ten faceless penises.

Because you were once a chandelier of candles
And now you are a faceless light bulb hung on the moldy hotel building
Because your **** gives you free crack and
My friends have disgust on their faces
And I feel
Pity
 Mar 2014 Charles Barnett
August
Listless lovers under the covers, turned away from one another

They were knotted together as soon as their heart strings brushed

The fire that was dancing on the sheets simmering to a small ember

Eyes cast to the walls while ardent fingers pick at their unkempt bind

Shadows that once crossed merrily cower in the corner of the room

They wait patiently for one to grab the scissors off the bedside table

And to cut the tangled strands.
Amara Pendergraft 2014
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