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I wish I could tell you what's going on
But I'm not so sure either
My feelings are scattered all over the place
Scattered like rain falling from the sky
I want to leave,
But my heart strings are tied to you
In tight, tight knots
Glued together
Needing to be pried from your grip
Distance is no way to love someone
And we both deserve more.
I wish I could humor you
And say that forever and always is true
But I can't
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
paige
4 AM
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
paige
Going to sleep
Thinking of you
Wondering if
You're thinking of me
I pray that you are
I pray that it's true
I keep trying to
Talk myself out of this
But I can't
I keep trying to resist
But this bliss
I can't miss,
And the kiss
I await
Raises my heart rate.
I'm trying not to rush it
I'm trying not to crush it
But I blush
And turn to mush
Every time you're around
It's like I've finally found
Who makes me happy
I just don't want to be
The rebound
Trying to give you
Your space
But you're not giving up
On the chase
So I erase
From my face
Any sign of a frown
And begin to
Bring down
The walls
I've built so high
Cause I feel like
This connection
Is hard to come by
Just don't be shy
And try
To make your move
And disprove
All my doubt
And make a sprout
Emerge from this drought.
I had given up
Until this hiccup
And now I can't work up
The courage
To believe
That what I perceive
Is not a mirage
And the heart
On your sleeve
Is not trying to deceive
It's just hard for me
To believe
That this is real.
That someone could
Actually feel
What I feel
That this is the real deal
And that I should not conceal
The light
That you ignite
Whenever you're in my sight
I'm just wondering
If you, too, are
thinking of this tonight.
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
fdg
Bodies smashing
lights flashing
skulls crashing against ***** sinks
and kids are snorting another line because what else is there to do but die.
I'm in a tight black dress,
one I starved myself into,
one I grind in
with empty dreams of ballet shoes
and you are not here anymore, because only fools have *** with an empty shell of a girl,
and we both know that you have never been a fool.
I stare at the red glow of the ceiling and watch my red flow down the drain
while I blink
to see your smile
to see a million smiles
I blink to remember that I smiled once, too.
I haven't lived this, but I could.
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
Julia
The air was still & silent with God

I burrowed my face into your shirt
surrounded you with my arms

you returned to me your own arms
and you said three common words
in a common sequence

& even in my dream heart,
I skyrocketed.
I echoed your three common words
& I smiled to myself

I smiled into your shirt
I even breathed you in
whispers of holy fog swirled around us

& I woke up,
but even then

I swore your scent lingered on me
-
regard me
as the pages in your notebook,
cover me in ink, tear me out, fold me up,
carry me around in your pocket until
my creases become perforations
that you may tug and tear at
before you set me down.
-
treat me like the incense on your altar,
light me up and ******* out, use me,
let me smolder until i am spent,
and sleep in curled ash
that you may sweep into a dustpan
tomorrow when you go
to
light
another
stick.
-
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
ashley
you know,
when you're younger,
you think boys are icky.
mean boys that push you
in the sand on the playground,
stupid boys that call
you names
and make fun of you for
being a '*****.'

when you're younger,
you think girls have cooties.
silly girls that play
on the swings
and talk about
the wind,
girls you try to avoid
at all costs.

but once you grow up
and stop being so small,
you come to realize that
boys are far from icky,
except for the fact
that they still pick their
noses and chew
with their mouths full;
and girls are far
from having cooties,
unless you consider
STD's as cooties, these days.

now,
girls and boys
are attracted to each other
by an unmistaken force,
one that's so strong
it feels like a magnet
is conjoining the both
of you.

or at least,
that's what they claim.

but really,
our generation is
obsessed with the
facination
of being rebellious,
of not caring about the rules,
or doing what they want
whenever they want.
we're obsessed with
the motto that
having *** at 16,
getting drunk at parties,
and doing drugs
is okay.

the problem?
we'll never know.
everyone will always
have different thoughts,
views, opinions
on how our generation
came to be as
disasterous as it is:
the media: music videos,
movies; the music,
what kinds of messages
rappers are conveying
in their songs;
but no matter
what we think
or what we say,
we'll never know.

we're the kids
your parents
warned you about --
or rather, didn't.

nowadays,
losing your virginity
is becoming something
of a contest to see
who can lose it first,
who can get this girl
laid, who can
sleep with the most
girls in their entire school.
today, girls are willing
to lose it, all because they're
under pressure, or being
influenced by the wrong
crowd.

nowadays,
going to ravid parties
and having
'a few drinks'
is something to celebrate.
"come on, have a drink,"
and even if they don't want one,
even if they don't want
to accept,
they somehow get convinced
otherwised.
then 'just a few drinks'
turns into a rollercoaster
that gets you spiraling
out of the earth's
gravitational control.
your mind goes haywire
and you might even do
something you never imagined
you'd do. all because of
'a few drinks.'

nowadays,
rolling a blunt
and smoking ****
is something
everyone does;
if you don't smoke,
if you aren't a stoner,
then you're considered
'abnormal,' or 'odd,'
or even 'weird.'
roll a blunt,
pass it around,
take a hit
or two
or three,
until it feels like your
soul is being detached
from your body,
floating into the
horizon,
being swallowed by
darkness,
vanishing into the
atmosphere.

nowadays,
everyone's
trying to **** themselves
from the harsh words
being thrown at them
like daggers to the heart.
everyone's
cutting themselves,
a temporary way
to solve a problem
that seems
incapable of living through.



nowadays,
no one has any respect
for themselves.
no one cares
if they don't get into
a decent college;
most don't even go.
no one cares
if alcohol is
causing them to become
addicts;
they disregard the signs
completely.
no one cares
if smoking ****
or doing drugs
is illegal;
now, they'll
expose it in the open.
no one cares
how their words
can affect people;
"fat," "ugly.'
they'll call people
***** that are still
virgins.

nowadays,
our generation
has turned into
something to be avoided,
an example of how bad
the world can become.


a.m.
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
fdg
Sorry.
 Mar 2013 Chandler Lauren
fdg
I bet it's hard to forget me
when I'm breathing down your neck.
The Past
It Haunts us,
It Taunts us
Follows us around.
We regret
We can't forget
It keeps us tightly wound.
It's blurry,
We worry,
Will all our memories leave?
A hazy smile
A blackened tile
We're easy to deceive.
The Present
It wakes us up
It takes us up,
Plasters us to stress.
We face our fears
It ends in tears
It makes us all confess.
It never lasts,
It turns to past,
Just a distant thought.
It's everyday
We can't run away,
It leaves our heartstrings taught.
The Future**
We can't hide,
Can't brush aside
What we don't expect.
If it let's us down,
We turn it around,
It's pointless to object.
Simple prepare
Honestly care,
We just might have a chance
A little glimmer
Not possibly slimmer
It will allow us to advance.
The sky is grey
With falling ash.
I wait upon
The snapping lash.
The sonic boom
That scalds my skin.
Bites my back,
Licks my chin.
A cry bursts through
My ****** lips.
And tiptoes through
The sails and ships.
My face is raw
And black and red.
By blades as thin
As pin and thread.
The rope that binds
With hostile ease,
Is as merciless
As the greedy seas.
The cannons gleam,
And spit out smoke
Then fire sang,
And war awoke.
I strained a gaze
On black and white,
That streamed right through
The brightened night.
Now torn to shreds
And at my feet,
It was the last
Of the pirate fleet.
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