You tell me I'm lovely
You tell me I'm thin
You tell me to come over
But you never say when

You tell me I'm different
You tell me I'm pretty
You tell me to get dressed up
You want to take me to the city

You tell me I'm quiet
You tell me too much
But you never did tell me
You were feeling out of touch

You told me to go
You told me to stay
You couldn't make up your mind
So I decided to leave anyway

You told me you were sorry
You told me you were dumb
You told me that you over think sometimes
And that it isn't any fun

I told you I would be here
I told you I would stay
But don't think that you're my lover
We couldn't last a day

Now you're broke and sorry
Wishing it was better
But "sometimes things happen that way"
I wrote you in a letter

I miss you everyday
I miss you all the time
If only you had known our love
Was always first in mind

I think about you
and I think about me
and I think that we both think too much
And I know that you'd agree

You told me you were happy now
You told me you were having fun
You told me to come visit soon
I could even meet your son

I was ****** and I was tired
I was sad and I was cold
This life just flew by us both
Too fast to grab hold

I am happy too you know,
I never needed you
To tell me that you needed me
I'm a shadow, I'm anew

You won't find me around here
Don't even come and look
"I'm long gone away somewhere"
I wrote you in a book

Now I only see ocean
I can't remember land
For time has passed and I am just a soul
Holding life in my hand

He was my first
love

He gave me butterflies

When we were together I needed to always
touch him
hold his hand
lay on his chest

He gave me anxiety

When we were apart I needed to always
hear him
know where he was
and who he was with

So many nights spent
laughing
loving
together

so many more spent
crying
alone

I gave him my heart
I gave him my body
I would have given him everything
I did give him everything

He cheated
He lied
and still he loved me
and stupidly,
I still loved him

I walked away
he broke me
finally
I walked away
carrying the pieces of my heart
In my young hands

He got engaged
(to the girl he cheated on me with)

I moved
out of this country and across the world

I patched up my broken heart
It took a long time
and a few one-night stands
there were pieces still missing
and scars where the cracks were glued
but I understood this heart much better
than before when it was whole

Now I'm with my new love

When we are together
We cuddle
We read
We watch movies

When we are apart
We send each other updates
and tell each other
I miss you
I love you

I don't always get butterflies
but I never have anxiety

Almost every night we
laugh
and
love

and when I rarely cry
I'm not alone
and he holds me
and says he's sorry
or I say I'm sorry

He fills the holes that were left behind
and my scars are nearly faded

But sometimes I think back to my first love
my young love
my innocent love

And although my first love
at times felt like
magic
buzzing bees
and hot electricity
running through my veins

my new love feels like
warm cookies
a sweater on a crisp day
sunshine in the cool wind
and home
And I know that this is better.

When it comes to you,
I'll wait.
You're eyes are bait,
But I won't bite.
I'll sit up straight.
I'll respond,
Not instigate.
I promise,
I'll wait.
I've got time.
I'll need it at this rate.

Sometimes
It’s as if it was just yesterday
Just yesterday when you tore my fragile heart from my chest and shattered it into a million pieces
Seemed as if though I would never find happiness, ever again

But its been two years since
Why do I find myself looking back
Didn’t we say “no regrets”?
Didn’t we leave on good terms?

I remember those nights
Nights when you’d fall asleep while we’re talking
And the next morning you’d apologize and call me beautiful
Those nights when you’d made me feel like no other
Like nothing else ever mattered, as long as we’ve got each other
Those nights when we’d make plans
To watch our favorite band together
To go around the world in each other’s arms
To stay strong no matter what others say
Those nights when we’d have those little arguments
“I love you more”
“No! I love you most”
What happened?

It all suddenly stopped
Our love was like a car accident, everything all of a sudden
A driver who suddenly brakes, suddenly stops
Suddenly flies through the windshield, shattered, wounded
Everything happening so fast
Is there ever time to mend the wounds?
Wounds which were the only remnants of our love
Wounds left by you who once said “I won't let anyone ever hurt you”
Funny how the people you love the most are also the ones who can hurt you the most
How ironic is that?

As my brain goes overdrive, overthinking what could’ve been
I think, what if I just miss the memories, not the person itself?
Its pretty amazing having someone who loves you
But that’s life, and people really do come and go
Everything happens for a reason
I really do like to believe so

Lies, Lies, and more Lies...
That's all you do is lie to me, why?
I don't understand how you can say you love me,
But yet lie to me almost daily.
Do you take me for a fool?
How can you be so cruel.
I'm tired of it all and wish you would go,
I'm not losing anything, just thought you should know.
And I really don't care anymore,
I'm not afraid to be alone, not like before.
Being with you makes me very unhappy,
Is this really how you want me to be.
It's time to close this final chapter,
I want to find my happily ever after.

give me a tickle
trip
taste
of what it feels
to have your face
an inch from mine

i wonder if i would still like your nose
or your smile
or if you'd like
mine