Rip me apart further,
tear away the last seem that holds me in pieces.

Make my lungs collapse
at the thought of your breath never being the oxygen I get to inhale,
airways crippling like you appear to be my holy grail.

Truly I wish you would put me on maps
for maps could finally lead my way to an end,
closure,
I could only pretend.

Now you left again,
somehow this hurt more than last time.
I feel tears rolling in,
knowing the last we parted and you left our hometown.

I was a wreck.
I was nothing but an empty shell of pieces stacked.
I feel the distance as soon as you left my arms,
ready to go reach for the door,
how I wish you would’ve stayed,
sincerely I want nothing more.

As you’re lying there,
inches apart,
face to face with me and still in his arms
I wonder,
would it hurt you to just scoot over,
would it hurt you to be someone I wouldn’t have to loose for closure.

Yet you stay,
positioned strictly,
and I feel I miss you,
the second my thoughts become sickly.

You’re helpless,
helplessly waiting for someone to say the exact words you expect to hear

but they won’t come.

They won’t come because each time someone reaches out,
you build up the walls around your thoughts,
and how could someone know how to get through to you,
when you’re just being too much.

I see glowing aquamarine in your eyes,
endless waters passing by,
yet you don’t notice the earth collapsing in mine,
coffee growing stronger each time we aline,

and each time we don’t,
I hate waiting for a sign.

To see someone live the life I wanted with you,
giving each other the word for eternity

I will crumble to my feet
and drag the possibility of us with me.

may the time ever come I get to tell you
„I love you“,
know that,
truly paper and pen have seen me dedicating these words to you long before you did.