You make me weak.
Still I seek you out, no doubt, it's complete.
Madness. Sadness. Destruction.
Obstructing my eyes, the two of swords.
No relief in sight.
I might, try to move on. I fight but it's strong.
Your pull. Am I a fool?
To care? Unaware, you have probably already lost hope. A ship to float? Or sink!
On the brink of losing myself. You've placed me on a shelf. To high, you're out of reach.
A breach. Of trust you used deceit to defeat me.
Do you need me? Do you see me?
Or are you just seeking revenge?
Unable to make amends, I cannot see through this muddled lense. Oh please, release me.
You are my kryptonite.

Take that mask from off your face, you know I can see right through you.
Your truth you will never replace, your soul is screaming out.
You know you cannot hide the pain, however hard you try.
You'll live the rest of your days insane, until the day you die.
To go against your inner voice, you welcome hurt and danger.
You know that you can make the choice: I don't have to be a stranger.
You are so afraid to grasp at love, though it's here and always will be.
It is a gift from God above, so take it, and rest easy.

Two individuals, one vibration.
A feeling of home, the ultimate rest.
A strong temptation,  a genuine test.
Two hearts that beat the same, however far they stray.
Eyes that see to the depths of the soul, and refuse to look away.
You feel the tears when they fall down their cheek, your pain is theirs, and theirs is yours.
Open doors to other dimensions, you communicate in dreams.
Attraction so intense, like super novas exploding in the abyss.
Sealed with a kiss, beyond time and space.
You can be the runner darling, I'm quite happy to chase.
As long as I know that light at the end of the tunnel darling, will be your lovely face.
Our insecurities show, like a bad tattoo, but we accept with no conditions.
Intentions set, we will sustain.
Until we meet again.

The grief it comes in waves. How is ones heart expected to heal with such an unpredictable path? Some days it feels as if I am okay, that I have accepted our plight, and other days I can feel the pain so raw, bubbling up into my throat, choking as I grasp for air. On these days I have to let the tears flow and shed the memories and the reality of not having you here. Though you are still on this earth. I guess that's what hurts the most.

Along the river we sit. Sun, gently grazing tan skin. The sound of water riding rough over rocks with green permeating through our bones and sinew. A calling. To live freely in this moment. Toes tucked into sandy banks. Water cold, but life giving. Refreshing my spirit with an inner depth. A deeper connection. I can feel you in the wind as you slowly kiss my cheek. The hairs on my arm stand up straight, alert and sensing your divine presence. Oh Gaia, mother, hold me in the light of your sacred palm. Breathe into me the secret knowledge of the wild ones and instill the gentle calm that only you can offer. The muted granite and rocky outcrops paint a picture of true awakening. In this moment. Calling loud but a gentle whisper. She says, "Be here now."

You came back into my life and in an instant you were gone again. You said you weren't gone... But the distance is palpable. To have you so close within my reach. What could I have said? Maybe what I did say... To help chase you away. The stars aren't as bright. The moon hangs low. The sun isn't as warm and the days drag on a sluggish pace.

I led you deep inside my heart, but still, you could not stay:
To real and raw, are these emotions, our fears was our dismay.
Too many years we have seen pass; our lives are much to full.
To allow in one untimely intruder: to dismantle would be a fool.
Still love is boundless like the sea: an ocean deep and blue.
Over rivers and rocks, and ticking clocks, a crystal or a jewel?
But time can mend the unspoken truth: our departure on the shore:
Rational and frank our choice discussions:
Healing into our core.
Perhaps one-day we can lean in, and speak as lovers do.
But until that day, beloved friend.
We must turn and say adieu.