There's this girl I love
Whose pores I could sink into when we kiss
Because she melts me from the heart out
I wish I could disappear into every crevice of her body and sink beneath her skin
Fold myself into her heartbeat
Rock to sleep with the melody of her lungs
I wish I could be her clothes and touch her every moment of the day
But at some point she'd have to wash me of her scent
So I must remain content to be a seperate organism, only passing smiles and kisses
And touches at certain moments
At least in my mind she's always there

I don't need a god
Or any idol before me
I'd rather not kneel and show my weakness
I'd rather weep the tears
Mourn a final time
To show how scared I am
I don't need a cross to hold
I don't need a bottle or blade
I need the silence of a vacant altar
What I need is never what I get
What I want is nothing
But **** it I require a voice to say it'll be ok
For something or somebody
To comfort me in the darkest of days
Even those who love the dark fear it
They know all to well the monsters created
The demons that awaken
It's more than just a nightmare
It's a abyss always drowning its victims
With their own fears
I just pray to my insanity
Maybe my depression
Or perhaps the dark
To allow me one more river of tears
So I can finally swim out of this desert
I've loved and lossed
Lived and learned
Made mistakes invaluable
My proof is the scars
I doubt you'll ever believe the story to
This isn't just an atheists prayer
This is the plea of a monster with no conscious
To finally feel an emotion rather than anger and hate
Depression brings only crimson tears
I just wish somebody can tell me they understand
Yet you'll try and tell me
I should find an anchor in your heavenly father
It's not as easy as saying you believe
I'll never believe in a hypocrite
I'll only believe that one day
My prayer will be answered
With the bringing of boney fingers to my throat
Grains of sands falling
Causing the bells of my demise to toll
Swinging about the sythe to my chest
My prayer is to finally cry
To finally let out all the pain

Do you remember our first date?
You wore a black T-shirt, running a bit late.
You had a head full of hair and glasses,
I swear you were my first real crush.
It was a little too much.
I had you ask my Dad if I could go,
'Cause I was too nervous he would say no.
We wanted to watch Saw II but got rejected.
We were too young, and the theatre by default selected
That we'd watch "Chicken Little" the only other movie they showed,
At our town's little theatre, we passed by the Skittles,
And watched the show in quiet excitement.
Then we waited for our rides, and feeling resentment,
Listened to the end credits of the movie we'd rather have seen,
If only we were eighteen.
It was a song we liked called "Burn the Witch,"
We sang along and smiled, feeling enriched by each other's presence,
We knew this was Heaven.
We didn't kiss or cuddle,
We may have hugged, and that would have settled.
It was a teenage bliss,
Excitement, nerves, wants that would someday be satiated,
But even now that I have with you all of this,
Marriage, and ***, and a morning kiss,
I look back on our first date when we were kids,
And know everything we ever did
Was a result of that fearful question,
"Do you want to go on a date?"
And yes, I did.
I would all over again.

It's like getting suffocated.
Hands around your neck,
squeezing harder,
and harder.
Yet it's not hands.
It's words.
Words you say.
Things you call me,
either straight to my face,
or behind my back.
Those are the words,
that suffocate.

(e.k.j.)

These dark clouds are swallowing me,
your cards have been dealt and played out,
just another loss to,
store in the archive,
you probably saw me as,
a burden anyway.

Depression hits like rain,
the pitter-patter sound a tin-roof would make,
pounding down on worn
heart strings, tearing away at sanity.
We're all mad here, loves,

Welcome to insanity.