I am a simple girl.
A wooden doll,
sometimes made of stone.

When the waters rise,
I should float,
instead I turn to stone.

Further down I go.
Heavy and sinking,
I am concrete,
I cannot think.

Made of wood again.
When you push me I creak,
when you touch me I speak.

Left alone to weather the storm,
eventually I decay.
Left alone.
After time passes me by,
soon I will petrify.

My edges softened by river waters,
until only the best of me remains.
Now I wish I could remember,
what you always say.
I wish that I had the will,
to float away.
I wish I could be everything,
that you see in me.

I met another brick wall today.
Don't prepare for the usual.
We're going at this the old fashioned way.
Guard down, no expectations and lots of faith.

I know in the I have messed up in the past.
I meet these walls and I never stop.
I just run full speed and crash.
Backing up and going at it again head first.
Never stopping until my heart is broken.
My mind always goes first.

This time I will walk.
I will take time to count the bricks.
Take time to notice their color.
To notice what holds them together.

No reason for anymore pluralities.
Unless, of course, they're positive.
No need to brake my mind.
No need for anything short of expansion.

I can feel your breath on my skin
I can feel your eyes on my soul
I can feel your hands turning my pages

Turning the pages of a tragic story
Spin me a lie or tell me the truth
Just say you’ll never leave
Say that you will be there to pull me through

Another liar is another night
If you spin a web for me I will gladly get stuck
I need to think that someone one wants me
Someone has me and will never let go

I want truth that I’ll know when I hear it
No hesitation and your eyes will crease in smiles
No need to hide because I will understand
No need to lie because you want this too

I want to see your soul in your eyes
I want to hear you live your life
I want to know you in more than a dream
I want to have more than possibilities
More than a maybe and a might have been

Someday you will understand
Someday I will meet you and there it will end
There it will begin and there we start

You're on all their lips
Dancing like fire
All their lips but mine

Haven't seen you in a month
Haven't gone a day without missing you

I sure as hell don't love you
I don't even think I like you
I miss you though

I hate hearing about you second hand
I don't even get to know you anymore?
How does that even seem fair?

I have a right to know you
At least I feel like I do
And really, shouldn't that be enough?

Calming myself before bed
Quieting the voices in my head

All the pieces of myself screaming
Until they blend from the harsh black and white
Into a acceptable shade of grey

A silent color that gives me relief
A confusing color that bring me uncertainty

I wanna remove the skin
From your cranium
I wanna smash the bone
Of your skull
I wanna poke around
In your brain

I want a piece of you
That you will never have back
Not after tonight
Give me your life

I gave you mine
Against my will
I have embraced this anger
The anger you birthed in me

I wanna tear apart
Your mind
I wanna dance
In the fire of your soul
I wanna scream
As you burn alive

I have this tingling up my spine
This voice that pleads at me daily
This nagging that won't subside

I hurt myself
Saving you from a hell you created
I'd rather hurt you
Showing you what you deserve

I've made a beast out of myself
Caging things to enjoy the craving
Giving into one sin to make another subside

My hypocrisy sickens me
Yet I revel in it like a fine wine
In the fact that I can do this to myself
In the fact that this can be done to me
In the fact that I hide it so well that no one ever has a clue

I feel myself cracking down the center
Only half of myself can stand to hold back anymore
Only half of me is becoming smaller
Becoming nonexistent and loving it

Our contact is less
Making these voices rush on me like waves
Your face brings the images
Your voice brings the motive
Your actions bring the pain

You are the cactus I cling to
You are the thorn beneath my skin
You are the wound that I let fester
You are the cancer spreading within