but how stupid of me to be
tricked and illusioned into
loving the person i see in pictures
but not in real life.

it's quite pathetic really
why i even bother anymore

i know you deserve better but honestly
i love you as time passes
i love you as my skin begins to wrinkle
i love you as seasons change
i love you as constellations occur
i love you as gravity is natural
i love you as my mind wonders
i love you as you live your life
i love you as you don't know
i love you as i'm nonexistent to you
i still love you as our hearts won't ever
love one another.
*c.r

i care so
much about
your happiness
that mine isn't
really that
important anymore
*c.r

to
listen
to
the
sound
of
your
voice
somehow
comforts
me
*c.r

daydreams are a little
dangerous for her
as she is creating this delusional
imagination of a life with you
and we all know what happens
in the end





she's *broken

this shock of wave
from a tsunami tide of thoughts
daunts my brain
with questions of life
no one can answer
unless they're
dead.
*c.r

you see her sitting there
smiling at people
listening to what they're saying

but you have no idea
what goes through her mind

if i were to love another and it wasn't you,
i wouldn't love at all in the first place
so let me be the cold hearted,
let me guard up my walls
surrounding my heart to keep it protected
though one day, if it came to a great surprise
and you tore down those walls one by one
you'd find the key that unlocks my heart.
*c.r

if imagination was what was left of me,
i wouldn't mind

though if imagination left my soul,
i would lose a piece of me
as imagination occurs
to when love is false
and i don't want to forget you
*c.r

i'm not there for when you wake up in the morning
                                      you're eyes crinkle because of the sun
                                      you hum quietly whilst walking
                                      you laugh so hard your stomach hurts
                                      you smile in return of a compliment
                                      you bite your lip in act of nervousness
                                      you wake up from a nightmare
                                      you cry as you're having a bad day
                                      you are truly happy
                                      

i also won't be there as you take your last breath
and i wouldn't know if it was a sigh of relief or pain.
*c.r

as i scroll past i think
it really does hurt
when everyone disagrees
with you and ignores you
and they think he deserves
to be with someone else
it does hurt
from the deepest
part of my aching heart

(c.r)

I'm no one special to other people
Just another out of a billion

(c.r)

as students surround the supply teacher
  as he leans over to tell them his jokes
they shriek in laughter
   and i want them to stop being fake
because you're all acting

I hate lying here awake
with thoughts running
through my mind

When I panick
as my mind over-powers me
and my head receives anxiety
no one will care
to be beside me

(c.r)

when I sip the cup
of caffeine, its
black dim colour and
taste doesn't compare
with how obscure my
heart is without you
(c.r)

the happiness you saw
in her eyes
were like blossoming flowers
and you were both water and sunlight
so she grew into something beautiful

*c.r

the fact that i have
to keep everything in
for two months
until the only person
who knows my likings
and secrets
comes back
then, and until then,
can i burst my emotions
verbally

you raise your
hand to take
the picture
I'm truly happy
but then I realise
I'm just another
person
you're taking
a picture with,
but at least
I was once beside you.
(c.r)

the sun shines
and the sky is clear
like the colours of your eyes
though yours are a little darker
and i would spend
every single minute
of this day with you until
the goddesses bring out
their dark sheet for the night sky  

but oh, darling
you won't be beside me
and so i shut myself inside
waiting for you to come
which, i'm afraid,
will never happen

(c.r)

i never expected
to love you
this much
but i don't regret
a single bit of it

(c.r)

when your eyes are rich in dryness
and the weight of your arms
overpowers your muscles
so you just lay there
looking lifeless

(c.r)

her eyes were dreary
and her thoughts were clusters of nebulae
the silent atmosphere was disrupted
by her loud, complex, and disorientated mind
for once her laughter brought kaleidoscopes in her eyes
but all you can hear is the fluttering sound of a butterfly's wings
for those were the last flutters that made her feel alive

when the last pages
of my life is ending
i would to like think of happy
things and times i spent
with you and hopefully
sleep endlessly
taking my last breath as
a sigh of relief.
*c.r

I ink my wrist
with the black eyeliner
the characters and symbols
on it make me happy and smile

                    The first line means happy
                    as I need to remind myself
                    through the day that I need
                    to smile once in a while.
(c.r)

we say sorry too much
and don't even mean it

(c.r)

in order for a fire or a flame
to occur or grow
they are in need of oxygen
and then, and only then
will the fire "live"

I'm the fire, you're my oxygen
so I guess i'm stuck in a black hole
where oxygen remains no more
and nor will I.
*c.r

The faint vapour going up
with no destination
followed by the exotic smell,
may I say
then it clues a touch of sweetness

As you tilt the cup
it gulps down through your throat
like a gentle waterfall

As it ends its journey
you catch a warm feeling
in your chest
then a small perk of a smile
grows on your face

How wonderful

(c.r)

"do you remember a few years go
when there was a dead scorpion
and your sister said, "poor scorpion"
well, I thought that was so genuine
of her to say so as, us humans,
expect these nasty creatures to be
dead"
                         "as it is true, we do expect them not
                          to be wondering around pestering
                          others and scaring them
                          but how would you feel if
                          you were expected by people to be
                          dead?"

I sat there and nodded
agreeing to whatever he is saying.

one day you will snuggle
up with her and you will
comfort her in a thunderstorm
she will look into your eyes
she will kiss your tender mild lips
you will look at the stars together
and one day witness a falling star

that falling star could be me
falling for you,
being detached
from the sky and accepting the
fact to take a free fall into reality
*c.r

I remember your
shocking sudden fall
from the ladder and
thought you're a goner

(c.r)

and so the day ends
but it'll begin as we know it
and so my eyes begin to dry
but I don't let them seal together
and so I will slip away
from realism
but i do hope you won't
appear

(c.r)

and as they arrive
I shake their hands
smile
greet them
and they make their way to sit down

I wish I can learn to make conversation
as I feel like a coward
running away and sitting
on the top of the stairs
unable to do anything

(c.r)

would it be a little
lazy of me to just
sleep through everything
that's going on and hibernate
throughout this heat and boredom
(c.r)

the freckles on your cheeks
                   and your back
lines up a constellation             
.         '           -     "
,              
.           '  -          *
       *           '
'             *    to my heart.
(c.r)

please stop saying you're hurt
or dead because you're
lying

(c.r)

I don't understand why
you would do this
maybe I myself am not you
therefore it's difficult
to figure out
the maze that are your thoughts

(c.r)

at the dead of night
she wakes
and finds herself
in a maze which is her mind
and she can't escape
the fact that
you don't love her back.
(c.r)

you deserve everything and more
and I can't give you anything and less.

*c.r

Pedalling through the park
I pass dog owners,
maybe two or three

Arriving on the main road
with frequent passing cars
the wind gushing through my hair
entering the unsealed areas
of my clothing
and spreading around my skin
sending a cold breeze

Conversations flow from my Dad
As I answer in agreement
I loved how there was no one around
I can be cautious about
Oh how I sometimes wish
It was as simple as a morning cycle

(c.r)

i wonder why
           i don't go outside as much
           i don't talk to my friends as much
           i don't smile as much
i wonder why
           i cry more
           i frown more
           i stay indoors more
           i want you more
              (when you don't want me at all)
(c.r)

I would hold your hand
for when the nightmares
alarm you so you can't
go back to sleep

I would hold your hand
when we walk through
streets and pathways
so that we won't feel lonely

I would hold your hand
for when we walk at night
and you say
"it's just darkness"

I would hold your hand
for when we depart
but all this time it was
not real
and you were never
mine to hold

(c.r)

it isn't just me
that loves you

it isn't just me
that fell for
everything
you are

it isn't just me
that are now
broken pieces
amongst many
(c.r)