I felt a cold sensation on my neck that travelled to my stomach
From your hands to your mouth, it travelled below my waist
My lungs breathed cold air from the ice that you controlled
I shivered sexually on the bed naked as you continued to melt the ice cubes on my body
I needed a warm sensation to heat my body
I needed your body to cover me
With your lips, you warmed my frostbites
With your hands, you held my wrists tight
With your tongue, you caught every cold drip
With your hands, my hips quenched your grip
My body is cold & wet
My clothes have disappeared and are drenched
You melted a solid down my body
You wanted to see me go crazy

It was the kinda touch I wanted when I felt your hand around my throat
You squeezed for the air to be trapped, but you wanted to hear a scream
It was the kinda kiss I wanted when I felt your mouth ****** onto my lips
You bit for for me to bleed, and not to be cut
It was the kinda feeling I wanted when I felt your body holding me down
You pressed so I would be trapped, but you wanted to watch my body move
It was that kinda seduction I wanted when I felt everything you did
You made me fall in love with *** all over again

I never cry for no reason
The tears never leak without a push
The greatest sadness depends on the mind, body, & soul
Before these tears, I try to fight
Then theres a push on my lungs that moves up to my throat
Anxiety has arrived;
It never goes
My throat locked itself from the air that passes through
I tried to breathe one last time, but my strength was too dry
So finally, I cried

I wanted to starve my pain but I didnt know how
Instead of taking it away, I fed it innocently thinking it would leave
The pain ate away at my happiness
I began to hyperventilate
I became angry
I became sad
It showed me my fears that I tried to drown for years
But the pain allowed them swim
I tried to run, but the pain made me slow down by allowing my blood to forced its way through my scars
The scars that i thought were healed, opened up;
Now my body is weak all over again

A razor cuts
A knife stabs
A punch bruises
I have been cut but not from a razor
I have been stabbed but not from a knife
I have been bruised but not from a punch
The razor was this tiny voice that noone heard, but was ignored from my mind
The knife was my heart that kept wanting to fight
The punch was my body bringing myself down
I was my own victim that i threw to the ground

I learned to quench my thirst with a drink that also quenched my fears
I learned to quench my fears with a drink that also quenched my moods
I learned to quench my moods with a drink that also quenched my anxiety
I learned to quench my anxiety with a drink that also quenched my depression
I learned to quench my depression with a drink that also quenched my mind
my mind was quenched for trying to forget but now the alcohol is done

I met a friend who appeared to be fake
I met a friend who i wanted to break
Taught me how to live, but made me go crazy
Taught me how to be happy, but made me cry
Taught me how to love, but made me hate
Taught me how to heal, but made me bleed
Taught me how to breathe, but gave me anxiety
Taught me how to relax, but made me
angry
Taught me how be strong, but made me weak

I lived in fear, thats why i went crazy
I was happy, because crying too much drowned me
I love, because pain was the only partner i had
I healed from the cuts & scars that were purposely done to my body
I breathed in so much toxic that harmed me
I was relaxed after i used negative paths to help me
I was strong to feed my weakness

I met a friend, that friend was me.
I was the one that destroyed my body, my soul and my sanity..