When my bones turned brittle
When my veins turned to frost
When my skin turned pale
When my heart turned black
When my mind turned to ice
I froze over and slipped away
I slid into walls that i couldnt tear down
I slid into cages that i couldnt escape from
I slid into a doors that i couldnt unlock
I slid through paths that i got lost
I slid through fire that i got burned
I slid through glass that cut me and started to bleed
I slid through the air and then i fell with no protection
I slid through a wire that i lost all my strength when i couldnt hold on any longer
Inside my nightmare, im living in fear
Inside my mind, im drowning in tears
Inside my body, i cannot get out
Inside myself, i faded away

I never understood why i couldnt get up
I never understood why i had no strength
I was knocked down by an invisible force, waiting for me to break
And i did break
I broke into pieces
There was no sand to protect me
Just rocks & glass that pierced through me
The sun burned me and left me with darkness until I drowned
Drowned from a rain so cold;
As i constantly hit ground
Again and again i tore open my scars
I bleed with no ending
My stitches turned to dust
I was shaken so much that my head lost reality
I became abnormal and then i went into a dark world
My mind left me insane;
I felt the cold liquid again
My body all drenched with the force once again
I felt that water through me again
And then i find myself fighting..
Its so unknown when i try to think
My mind gets blanked out
Its so unknown when i try to speak
My throat chokes me
Its so unknown when i try to listen
My ears get plugged
Its so unknown when i try to see
My eyes are shut tight
Its so unknown when i try to breathe
Im drowning now

An anxious feeling, that i dont wanna feel
I just wish this all wasnt real
The happiness suddenly fails, and and now my emotions weigh me down
My heart pounds as i try to breathe
My mind is confused as i try to see
I cant talk
I cant mov
I cant hear
All the images that keep rewinding,
Waits to play when im in peace
Im bothered again
And then im disturbed
I cant focus because its all so real
Im underneath the covers as i start to choke & tear
Im hyperventilating
Im so dizzy with all my fears
When the darkness hits, the light just dies
Suddenly i feel my body all wet
Im un-dry as my eyes drip
The salt burns me
The water drowns me
Im drowning in my own pool of tears
Memories never fade
Memories are to cry
Scars are always visible
Scars can never hide
Cuts keep reappearing
Cuts were never healed
Im forever bleeding
The wounds never got sealed

I gathered everything that scared me and i tried to swallow it hole
I wanted to get rid of the negativity and make my fears disappear
When i couldnt swallow, i felt myself choking
One way i had to make the pain disappear, is the only way i had so i would face all my fears
My body was weakening
My body was dragging me down
I needed energy to survive
But the energy that i had was to force my conscience out
The evil was slowly taking from me
So then i had to trade my goodness goodbye
I swallowed a knife that made me bleed
But then it took away all my depression and anxiety
I swallowed the alcohol that made me forget
And then it took away the past & regrets
I swallowed the pleasure that made me relaxed
And then it took away my anger & my stress
I swallowed the mirror to search for myself
And then it reflected on what i was actually about
I ate the truth
I choked on the challenges
I spit out the fears
But now ive ****** all the strength outta me

I opened a wound that i was unable to close
And with the open cut, i couldnt continue to breathe
I learned how to fight without any weapons
And the only weapon i had was my heart that lost it all
I tried to stay calm but my nerves shocked me like a wire
Im burning inside as this wound keeps tearing me apart
Im bleeding outside as my body slowly breaks
And with no strength my bones turn brittle and i start to shake
My heart pounds from the wound that wont heal;
And i just cant make it close
Through the years i loved the pain
The dizziness weighs me down as i stare at the puddle of blood
Inside the liquid, i see my reflection;
A reflection of the damage of what i have done
I should have left it alone
I shouldnt have let it all go
I should have blocked off my mind
I shouldnt have made my heart cry
I lost it all when i opened myself
I lost it all when i didnt listen
I lost it all when i ignored my heart
I lost it all when i created an open wound
And open cut that wont leave because i always wanted it to stay
I got used to all the pain that i went completely numb
I kept trying to find feeling again
But i was so in love with my enemy that brought me all the darkness
The wound that wouldnt heal is still being touched by all my fears

I feel the heaviness of anxiety being pushed on me
And then im pinned down with no way of getting up
I try to grab air because my lungs are too weak
When i try to breathe, gravity pushes down on me
My heart is being squeezed and tortured
And then it pours out all the blood that once filled me
I try to drain out my mouth from the watering saliva;
That gets me choking as i try to swallow
My heart pounds;
It races fast
And then i feel the attacks come at me
And then i fight but i lose at my own battle
Im inside something and im getting no air
Im inside something that doesnt allow me to have any room to breathe
I struggle to breathe
I try to breathe
I hyperventilate knowing it wont end

I wait for a feeling that takes away the pain
I wait for a feeling that takes away the shame
I wait for a feeling to replace all the anger
I wait for a feeling to make the moods better
I wait for a feeling to feel no more anxiety
I wait for a feeling to feel less uneasy
I wait for a feeling to scare away my fears
I wait for a feeling that will prevent all my tears
I wait for a feeling that will heal my wounds
I wait for a feeling that will cover up the bruise
I wait for a feeling to erase the images that will last
I wait for a feeling to hopefully forget the past
And until i wait,
I wont ever know
And im so numb,
From the emotions that wont go