I'm a feminist because I deserve to walk down the street to the grocery store without getting the **** scared out of me by a honking car. I'm a feminist because although I may have short hair that doesn't make me a lesbian. And if I am a lesbian or bisexual or straight that's all okay. And it's all my business, not yours. I'm a feminist because when I go to look up a **** to watch, it takes so long to find one that isn't demeaning. I'm a feminist because I shouldn't have to make jokes about sleeping around to make it okay. Other people shouldn't judge me on my amount of ****** partners. I'm a feminist because everyone deserves a comprehensive *** education that teaches about all sorts of choices, not just abstinence and not just heterosexual experiences. I'm a feminist because I want to wear a bandeau in public and not be thought of as a ****. I'm a feminist because I hate shaving my legs and that's okay. I'm a feminist because women still make less then men and it's 2014. I'm a feminist because boys are still not supposed to cry, because a girl said that she think trans people shouldn't be on T.V. I'm a feminist because I believe that people should be judged by the way they act and how they treat others, not by their genitalia, something that wasn't even their choice. I'm a feminist because every time a little girl is liberated so is a little boy. I'm a feminist for that little boy in daycare who dresses up as a fairy and for my friends who aren't "straight", for the guy who I know is gay but has to hide because even he believes it's wrong. I'm a feminist for all the children out there being told who they have to be before they even know who they want to be. I'm a feminist because I can't not be.

Can I just
break down and
let it all out.
So tired of
being
okay
perfect
normal.
I just want to
cry
scream
talk.
I need somebody to
hold me and
listen
and be there.
I need somebody to understand.

"Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you"
I want to fall
in love
tonight.
How about you?

I miss my mom.
Not the one that gave
birth and
"raised" me.
No, I miss the one that I never had.
She'd come home and give me a pint of ice cream and a smile.
She'd help me believe I'm enough.
She'd just be there.
I just want her to be here.

I just
need
to run away
from
myself.
Just for a little
bit.

I'm so scared of so much. Of life, of love. I let this fear get to me and then I end up doing nothing, being nothing. I want to be brave and adventurous and **** and carefree and while I may be able to pretend, I'm not really. I'm not any of those things and I hate it. I hate myself. I'm trying to better myself. My school attendance has gone up, I've been cleaning, I think I got the job I interviewed for. It's not enough. That's the problem. I push myself so much that I'll never be good enough. I'll never pass the bar, cross the finish line. And the sad thing is, I think I like it that way. It's not that I don't want to be an A+ human being, it's that I know I don't deserve to be one. And so everything is only okay. Sure, I cleaned the house last night, but eww, look at that. Such a **** up. Wow, you got 2 hearts on that poem. And you call yourself a writer. Wannabe loser. Didn't go to school today? How do you ever expect to go to college? Failure, dumb, *****, ****. I don't even know how I would deal if I loved instead of hated myself. I think that's why I date losers. They magnify the fact that I'm worthless, not good enough. It's terrible, but it's my life and that's that. But doesn't it make me mediocre for not trying harder to change it? And if I do try and change then I don't make it good enough. It's a cycle.

Happiness doesn't have to be
complicated.
Nice weather
Getting to eat
Not self harming today
Family, especially those that we choose
Technology
I don't know.
I'm in a hopeful
mood.
And I'm realizing that while looking at the big picture,
life looks ******.
But when I break it down, just look at today.
I had a **** good day.