Last Sunday
I was curled up in bed
dreaming of you next to me.
Sharing a pillow,
sharing a kiss.

This Sunday
I want you curled up
next to me.
Sharing the space between your fingers
sharing the same feelings.

Next Sunday
I'll be curled up alone
cold spaces next to me.
Sharing my shivers,
sharing my tears.

I
never thought I'd find someone like you
appealing
carefully avoiding this situation
creating a fantasy in my head
evaluating the consequences
sick of myself for the thought
someone else's husband
I** could never do that to a family
believing you're not that kind of man
leave it alone
entertaining the thought

This smile is so easy to paint
even when this mind is so faint

to curl up inside
to run and hide.

I need to leave
this tangled weave

of lies
of lies.

I run away in my sleep
only to wake and constantly weep

drowning in tears
confirming all fears.

Scared to lose
hurts to choose

to go
to go.

I had a dream
you were in it
I wasn't asleep
I was wide awake
it was a few years ago

Now I can't dream
you're not around
I only sleep
I don't like to wake
This is now

Falling in love with you
arrested my heart and
left a pain
lingering through my body,
infusing into my soul,
never ceasing to
grind my emotions.

I** had
never

loved anyone before
or think I ever will again.
Verified loneliness leaves me
expecting your return,

whether for love or friendship,
I will forever hold a place for you.
Threatened by no other man, my
heart is completely

yours.
Other boys may try to persuade but they
underestimate my feelings for you.

I wonder
is your chair still in the corner
do you still sit there every Saturday
with your pepsi and bag of chips

I wonder
is your life still fairly solitary
do you still walk after the sun sets
with your hands in your pockets

I wonder
is your favorite band still Snow Patrol
do you still turn up the bass for Postal Service
with your fingers tapping on the desk

I wonder
is your life still playing out the same
do you still dream of all you used to
with or without me by your side

I remember when
that song came on
we danced like fools
(well, we were).

I remember then
the summer gone
we broke all the rules
(we were sure).

I remember when
I got the phone call
I forgot how to cry
(you were gone).

I remember then
sitting against the wall
why did you have to die
(you became dawn)?