thoughts that prevent me:

oh ****,
really?
get over it
get over yourself

It feels good to get these thoughts out at times but I'm scared in the wrong hands (with someone with a mind like mine), they could run through a person's mind almost like a negative mantra? But it's not true. You get over things in your own time and you're not a selfish/bad person for having a rough time.

It's funny
Maybe a bit ironic
That I've cared so much about having a perfect appearance in the past
That I am now completely uninterested in trying to look even presentable
If I cannot find the energy to put into looking my best
If I can't muster it, I put no energy in

Anything half-assed and I feel I look like a joke, and I feel more embarrassed than going makeupless

I know I'm being needlessly rough on myself
But at times, I think, not rough enough

A battle,
It always seems to be a battle
Between polar opposites

it feels like
the effort and love I put forth
is not reciprocated
but I know I too, need my breaks

I can't tell if I am being too forgiving
or too harsh

it's odd to think
some people love cherries, or rainy days, or the quiet
and others despise those things

how can some people hate what others love, and vice versa?

little girl
I am so sorry
for being so cruel
I don't know what's wrong with my head
but it just seemed like the right thing to do
but now you're all grown up
and broken in two

everything has the potential to break
even diamonds do

please, don't try to convince me otherwise

I always catch myself thinking
If only, I were more beautiful
I would be loved more, let go less easily
But, for some reason it took me until today to realize that
I would be just as unhappy
Just as scared that they would leave
Because what if, one day, I were no longer beautiful?