This callous on my heart
Is a blessing and a curse
If not for it, my heart would be too vulnerable
With a callous, or at least behind it, I am able to hold back my tears for a moment in public,
For this I am seen as cold

When I cry too much, I hear that I'm a crybaby, I have been told my heart is too large
What do you want with me?

Tell me please, universe, because it seems as though you are toying with me

You are a possible poison
Please, wouldn't you rather me live?
Than risk watching (perhaps for a while, perhaps forever) my spirit die if yours left mine?

Think wisely,
Because I think I'd rather live a life half-lived
Than have lived fully with you only to lose you

(I think)

she plucked out her own feathers
threw herself against the wire that enclosed her
not because she could not set herself free
but because she had the key
and was too afraid to use it

I want to feel beautiful but
I don't want it to take
Skin and bones (but still **** and ***) to achieve it

I am heartbroken for the majority of me that used to believe my only worth in this world
Was to be a pretty thing

That my thoughts really didn't matter
My feelings, my tears, should be hidden
Beneath shame and bruises
Whatever it took, as long as it was kept inside
Rather than surface
And possibly be perceived as ugly

I am me
This is my skin
This is the stuff beneath it
****** and (maybe) ugly

But maybe,
Beneath it,
One of the most beautiful things that can be found in this world
Something to be seen beyond eyes
Something to be revered despite public disgust

And maybe, just maybe
It didn't matter whether it was pretty or not after all

when it's been a while since the last time
when the rain broke free from the clouds
and I finally breathe in that rain kissed Earth
my bones sometimes become weak and weep

I too, know the feeling
of having no other choice but to let the water in me seep from what sees and touches this Earth
more often than not, breaking things that have been growing for years
without a thought or a care,

Blind to what stands in front of me.

I may be a horrible person

but maybe the best thing to do is to accept that I am not all bad, or all good

I am just another force of nature

the only difference is

I can control my direction and destruction

if I so choose

You know what

Take it

Just take it

Take all that I have left
Swallow it
And **** it out

Tell me
It upset your stomach

While I stand with ****** hands hiding the hole in my chest

It makes me a little sad to think that your eyes will flash upon the image of my inner eyelids whenever I see a landscape or hear a song that brings me back to the simple beauty of being in this world
I will swallow my spit and make the most of it as tears sting my eyes and leave my eyelashes tickling to be wiped
Wishing only that yours felt the same way
I don't want to be alone anymore
I want to feel you sway like the trees I see beaming from the last rays of a tired day
I want to be held by the limbs that weep towards me
Hold me honey, so I may bend in the wind without fear
Of stronger limbs.