"I am not your fetish!"
I never thought of you that way
And it breaks my heart you felt that was the truth
I loved you beneath your skin more than anything else I loved about you

I pray you never feel this hurt again

no matter where you go or who you meet
you one day, at some point find yourself back at home, alone with yourself
and I am trying my damdest to make myself a place I am not afraid of staying alone
I would love actually, one day to find my greatest joy and solitude there (here)

there's something about rawness
i can't help but plunge my fingers into
even though I know it'd be best to just let it heal

His words were flowers disguised as bullets
And she spoke in flowers that hid the knives beneath her tongue
And they lived like this until she could no longer hold the taste of blood in her mouth

These lips
Walk me in and out of offices
But I can't put into words these feelings
That press up against my belly and chest
Lurch up my throat
They mock me
These bits which refuse to be translated
Spit at my face and kick me into a corner
Until I have no fight left in me
My face encrusted in dry salt
I curl up and close my eyes until they retreat

Where they go I do not know
But when they do, I wipe my face and rise to my feet


I am a warrior

And I will not accept defeat

For years, at times I'd find myself
In the early hours of the morning before light
Thinking
This world
Is so irreparably broken
I can feel it at the pit of my being
I can feel it making itself comfortable in my heart
And I must fix this world or else this pit may take over my being

But I am trying very hard to tell myself now,
I might even believe
that it is people,
Not the entire world
That may be broken
And I can't change the world
But I can offer one hand and heart at a time
And then maybe that person I helped might want to too
And then maybe, years from now, we will live in a world of people who are whole and do not hurt

Let myself go?
I have been fighting to live
Not just survive
So if a couple of pounds is my punishment
I will take it
With a side of fries