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What is the hardest part
                    Of being alone?
It's the quietness,
A stillness making
What ought have been a home-
a house.
It's filled with beds,
But those lover's nests
Are             Empty.
And the thought is
As occupying as a dream.
A dream you cannot feel
Because the loneliness is keeping you awake

With no one to hold down your fears
         And keep you safe.
She thinks you light up the sun.
You think she turned on the stars.

She adds beauty to life already grand.
You make her happy in a way she hasn’t been.

She’ll be loyal.
She’ll be loving.
She is broken.
She is learning.

You’ll be funny.
You’ll be musical.
You are different.
You are needed.

She is…
You are…

In love.
This was written in 2006.
Does your skin feel as if it is on fire?
I know mine does.
Can we compare burns, i'd like to share mine with you but can you obligate
my best interest.

Tell me everything, tell me everything you know.

Can we see what we are made of from blank scars? That our arms
are weighted to hold.

Are we made of flesh or bone? Or are we simply made of flint and steel
with a heart cast in tinder. That can be lit so easily with the slightest
emotions of distress.

Tell me your stories, as we compare all our catastrophes.

This one
That one
This time
That time

Tonight we are pushing aside all the stress as the world is ignited
in the ashes of charred coals.
The voice in your head, that you come to for comfort slowly breathing on the open ash
reigniting the pain.

Show me your bruises, hiding on the hardening concrete you call skin.
Everyone holds them, we just don't know how they got them.
we don't know who put them there
or why.

Tell me everything. Tell me everything they know.

Do you feel the burning growing and growing crawling out from underneath your eyes
letting tides of tears flow. They say you will feel better if you take this pill

you think you will be normal if you take this pill.
you think you will be accepted if you take this pill.
you think this pill is an exit.
an exit at 3am in the morning when you found out this pill does nothing
but transcend past your mind, portraying a self fixed image in the mirror.

The door is locked
The ringing wont stop
Screaming, but that whisper that same whisper that told you to do it
is gone.

-Wynterz Phyer
 Aug 2013 Cassidy Chambers
Helen
I held you softly
as you slept
I held you gently
as you wept
I held you tightly
as you screamed
I stroked your hair
as you dreamed
I wiped the tears
that would not dry
I cried the tears
you would not cry
I took the demons
in your head
and made them
Mine instead
I need to be
by your side
don’t turn me away
I am not your Pride
I am not your Pity
I am not your Sorrow
I am here Today
I am your Tomorrow
This is one of my oldest and most beloved writes. I never considered adding it to any collections until today. Considering this will be my one true legacy I leave behind, it is as relevant to me today as the day it was written. Enjoy :)
A bird dropped down out of the sky and landed in my head, and though I listened as it sung, I couldn't fathom what it said.
I'm sure it spoke of hungry fiends
wishful things
and childish schemes.
But deep within those singing eyes were vast and universal dreams.

Then he flew away in music and I just listened to the silence.


**Newly established Sailor Joshua Haynes here by the way. It is good to be back
 Jul 2013 Cassidy Chambers
Alison
I know I shouldn't have kissed those boys
With the whole town standing around
I didn't have much control over myself
And it felt good in a way
I felt unstoppable
And when I saw you through the crowd
There was fire inside me
I hated you for what you did to me
And I wanted to feel loved again
So I took the stupid boys hand
And I climbed up on the sidewalk
And I kissed him mostly because I could
And I kind of liked the attention
I liked the feeling of people looking at me
And thinking
Isn't that the girl who always sits alone and never talks?
I don’t want to be that girl anymore
When I pulled my face away from his, his smirk said he wanted more
But I turned and walked away
Only to find another boy waiting to feel my lips
That one was a mistake
And I wish I hadn't kissed that second boy
But I did and I felt loved again
In some messed up and twisted way
I hope you saw me
I hope you hated it
I hope you burned with jealousy
I hope you wish you hadn't left me behind
But I know you probably didn't.
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