Forgive me for what I'm not 
For I know not what I become 
Traded places syncing faces jaded
By the lovers lusting rust. 
It was far more then beautiful 
But to livid to be love 
Retract as the instincts we lack are 
Driven out by the fevers we hunt.

Just wanted to say to you my dear,
Goodnight and please sleep tight,
I will talk to you tomorrow,
But as for now please pretend i'm there,
Please just hold me tight,
Have the sweetest of dreams,
Know that i love you,
Now I must slumber,
I will fantasize and dream about you my prince,
Feel free to invade my head anytime you wish,
I will always be here with you,
Goodnight to the sweetest heart out there,
May all your sweet dreams come true lover dear.

If I was told,
Tomorrow,
I was going to die,

If I then said,
“I’d change nothing,”
I would be lying.

I am sure
There are things I would do,
Or refrain from doing.
Things I would say,
Or keep quiet.
Moments I would embrace,
Or hide in.

Though I know,
There are some acts,
Some words,
And some moments,
I would keep.

Like,
Talking to you,
Saying three words,
And hearing them back.

I remember when people left their doors unlocked
Today that is how you get robbed
I remember when neighbors took care of all the children on the block
Now neighbors are too busy to get involved
I remember when children knew not to talk back
Today children accused parents of child abuse
I remember when Fathers made sure their children didn’t lack
Today fathers can't find a job
I remember when Mothers cooked meals from scratch
Now meals come ready made
I remember when Grandmothers would sew all the school clothes
Today Grandmothers party with their children
I remember when Grandfathers would take their grandchildren to the fishing hole
Today Grandfathers are hard to find
I remember when at school children pledge allegiance to the flag
Now pledge allegiance to the flag in public is a crime
Look at the trade that was made
I remember when

I talk words of lust
with a boy unaware
I know not if it's unjust
if he knew that i would dare

To be touching lips with another
and another after that
3 boys who want me
and on top of that...

an ex-lover who awaits
her love to be reciprocated
by one she had wronged
by me, yes, I she has wronged.

and alas, the sister of a friend
whom i am confused upon
if i should love her or not
fool, you may think that she is the last one

another girl at school
she is but a year older
i see her from time to time
rarely i seek for her

she is but a crush
the sister, but a dream
the ex-lover - such a waste
and though it may seem

that i am an adultress
because of all these men
but judge me not
i don't belong to any of them

commit, you say
it is for the best
but if i do so again
i may have to rip out my chest

it hurts beyond words
and the pain - i may not be able to bare
and i'd have to swallow the hurt again
till i am too numb to give a care

so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do?
if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you
another girl, you might love
and another girl, as a crush
don't you think it's a tad bit too much?

though, i can't control it
I need to be reassured
that though my love betrayed me
this broken vessel be cured

by something more real
it has to exist
something i wont be afraid to love
something far greater than a kiss

something others cant take from me
something thats just mine
something that i can have
and keep for all time

so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool?
you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find?
that it is but impossible
because i am still so blind

i'll find my happiness
i pray to the gods i do
but only once i stop thinking of finding it
is when id find you

you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to
without giving a rat's ***
one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything.
you, who is not wearing a mask.

if you tell me that you're right there
id lose all faith in man kind
because i know you're not
i know that now.

if you tell me you wont hurt me
don't say another word
because i know you will hurt me
i know that now.

but i can love myself
i can live for myself, too
i know that now
i don't exactly have to live for you.

it is my life
this is my world
but i'm lonely
because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl

the one who cried
the one who swore
and hit her lover
and walked out the door

even if i could
i wouldn't change a thing
because through this mangled heart
i can love true again

someday..

How much time have I wasted?
Being sad and low
How much time have I wasted?
In hospitals, on gurneys
How much time have I wasted?
Hating instead of loving

The days go by and by
The flow effortlessly past
Such as breath from a mouth
Simple even, child's play

Days months, and years pass
No more wasting time
Time to make the best
Of this forgotten time
That we can now enjoy