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 Apr 2013 Casey Dandy
Tallulah
"Lights will guide you home"
she smiled
& The world around us
spiraled

Stars tangled in her hair
As she danced across the sky
Motioning me forward- a dare
I never thought to ask why

Her moonlit skin pulled me
To follow in the wake of her sea
& as we drowned in the sky
I kissed a world without her goodbye
for Bella E.
Worried so much about making mistakes
Holding back don't want to be judged
Or talked about made a fool of
Give to others do good deeds never enough
Accused of being a cheater been nothing but loyal
Make in the world fear of failure
Not be held back over come obstacle
Doing what matters over wasting time
Dream big but not going too far
Gave up drinking sober living
So much contradiction from others
Dealing with hipocrites being noble and honest
Staying home write stay out trouble Friday night
So hard to be normal
living on a bubble walking egg shells
I even hear the mountains
the way they laugh
up and down their blue sides
and down in the water
the fish cry
and the water
is their tears.
I listen to the water
on nights I drink away
and the sadness becomes so great
I hear it in my clock
it becomes knobs upon my dresser
it becomes paper on the floor
it becomes a shoehorn
a laundry ticket
it becomes
cigarette smoke
climbing a chapel of dark vines. . .
it matters little
very little love is not so bad
or very little life
what counts
is waiting on walls
I was born for this
I was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead.
You are going to be okay. I know it hurts now.. the burning in your chest will recede; your hands will stop shaking; your stomach will settle. A million times you've felt this, I know. It's not fair. It's not fair to give everyone your all in hopes that God will bless you for trying to be a better person; a better friend; daughter; sister. The world is harsh. It's going to knock you on your back a thousand times over. It's not your fault that you were born the way you were; short temper, quick to trust, quick to love. It's not your fault that you've been left in every way, shape, and form. Maybe they don't see you as who you are trying to be, only for who you were. I know it seems hard right now, everything is going like a roller coaster, so many ups and so many downs. But I wanted to tell you that one day this will all go away. Whether by your own means, or anothers. It doesn't really matter... but someday you'll heal. You are conflicted, and you will be for a long time. There are hard decisions throughout your whole life, you just have to learn to battle through. I know you are hurting, but please, try to stand tall. You will gain other friends, other loves. One person shouldn't cost you the whole world.

Chin up, my friend.
Oh, will you ever return to me,
My wild first force, will you return
When the old madness comes to
Blacken in me and to burn
Slow in my brain like a slow fire
In a blackened brazier - dull
like a smear of blood,
Humid and hot evil, slow-sweltering
up in a flood!
Oh, will you not come back, my fierce song?
Jubilant and exultant, triumphing over
the huge wrong
of that slow fire of madness that feeds
on me - the slow mad blood
thick with its hate and evil, sweltering
up in its flood!
Oh! will you not purge it from me -
my wild lost flame?
Come and restore me, save me from the
intolerable shame
Of that huge eye that eats into my
Naked body constantly
And has no name,
Gazing upon me from the immense and
Cruel bareness of the sky
That leaves no mercy of concealment
That gives no promise of revealment
And that drives us on forever with its
lidless eye
Across a huge and houseless level of
a planetary vacancy
Oh, wild song and fury, fire and flame,
Lost magic of my youth return, defend
me from this shame!
And Oh! You golden vengeance of bright
song
Not cure but answer to earth's wrong
Perhaps if Death is kind, and there can be returning,
We will come back to earth some fragrant night,
And take these lanes to find the sea, and bending
Breathe the same honeysuckle, low and white.

We will come down at night to these resounding beaches
And the long gentle thunder of the sea,
Here for a single hour in the wide starlight
We shall be happy, for the dead are free.
 Oct 2012 Casey Dandy
Victoria
What I have can’t be fixed by a doctor
How do you tell someone
“I don’t know where it hurts”
Or more accurately
“It hurts everywhere; where should I being?”
Because how do you tell someone that the pain of inadequacy
Mirrors a blow to the head in its intensity
But far surpasses it when it comes to longevity
And as far as timing is concerned
Every watch I’ve ever had has broken
So how do you tell someone that the lies are never easy
But the ones you tell to yourself crash over you like waves
And drag a small portion of you away each time they recede
It’s like a game of Them vs. Me
And what makes the defeats unbearable
Is the fact that they don’t even know they’re playing
I’ve been keeping score
And keeping score
And keeping score
The walls are filled with white lines
One
Two
Three
Four
Slash
Maybe if I point to my chest and say, “Here”
Someone will understand
It’s a pain that feels like everything I’ve ever wished for
Has solidified and turned to stone
Making a home somewhere in my ribcage
And it’s expanding
I write bravery on my skin because I have none
I make deals with  a god I know doesn’t exist
Just so when I’m unable to hold up my end of the bargain
I have someone to blame for falling through on his
And I still can’t figure out if it’s funny or sad
That the only man I want to kiss me never will
And the last one who did traded in his lips for his hand
So he can high-five me like we’re friends on the same team
Never making mention that we kissed on the floor of his room
Until we were breathless
While breakup songs played in the background
Taking up just as much space as we did
Became witness to our nervous hands fumbling over each other’s bodies
Turning our kiss into a *******
I have heard that silence speaks just as loudly as words
But silence builds up in my mouth like a traffic jam
And my jaw is begging to break from the weight
So maybe now’s the time to scream
Time to shout
Because I've been keeping all my thoughts filed away
Under the title, “When The Time Is Right”
But there’s no time like tonight
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