This bed is like a coffin
With a burial each night.
I could tell you where
it all went wrong
But it wouldn't make it right.
I'm never worth
Remembering
You each showed me that.
With your pretentious self obsession
Words that always fell flat.
Each day is long and empty.
I cannot find my way,
So forgive me
Graciously
While I slowly fade away.

Today was unusual,
while crossing a rocky
path, my 42 year old
son reached back offering
his hand to steady my
steps of progress.
A small thing at first glance.

When for all these years
it was me holding his hand,
guiding his path.
Age has intervened,
Now our roles have reversed,
as it does, as it must.

Accepting this reality
the only path to choose.

her.
        eyeless enigma.

she chasing another listener.

another one tied to fraility
   trying to face the lid-less night,

constellations swarming with his
     questions.

she.

      kindred tornado.

inspiration's explosive alleyway.

she has left me for another.

  left me here.

    sullen, chiseled out,
a hidden sculpture leaking blood.

stuffed in silk,    since the last time  

             she was here.

    where does she hide or linger?

her ghost words waiting in a unseen library waiting for my thoughts to scroll through endless imagination.

muse of the stabbing spruce.

blinking in and out.

I am dejected out into ghost town rain, not even an insect to look at.

she is gone.

my eyes void of color, claws shred the page, she left me, dulled with hangdog drift.

where is she?

shadowing a hitman?

running wild through the next Picasso ear?

how does she imagine me?

  a conflicted whisper outcasted in rain.

where. where. where did she go?

swishing leaves up into the miracle blue air with another.

towering perceptive ideas into the fingers of grace,

flowing down the anxious page smashing mediocre left and right.

**** her. bless her.

she.  

    a butterfly threading golden silk.

her mystery bonding with the population of every Galaxy.

I was rested when she left.

when she returns

  she will not recognize me.

my frazzled hair.  my hotmess trainwreck. my burned up furniture smoldering into the carpet.

Me.

on a rooftop  scrubbing through starlight like my skylight of dreams.

if I wait with patience of Job.

will she sunrise burst me

in fountain light

falling through me

like that lover who exists in the 5th dimension.

rocking my world with pure fire thunder.

I heard her thoughts breathe.

said,

she needed something with Redwood patience to understand why her mind traveled with butterflies searching for Eden.

Said, she felt ants inside her dreams carrying away the dead.

wondered if there was no limits to how her heart could grow or communicate with anything.

I saw her quaking eyes search for a place to land back before the first words that God said.

She felt the masterpiece come alive at midnight it spoke beyond all languages, treaded outside of logic, flew outside of time, connected itself with everything alive and spoke to her with a simple grace.

Everything is already yours.
Your heart is the doorway home.

She took a piece of me when she left, left an ice pick for me to play with.

Her sensitive nature understood why roots dug down in a quest for warm solace.

My heart almost closed forever, I felt the final straw detour me to wasteland.

I ran emerald frontiers in her eyes,
butterflies landing on my hands
their wings stained my eyelids
I can't go to sleep without flying through her.

my heart headed to the outskirts of Eden
imagining how she is
Loving her from behind bars
Her butterflies never seeking
my garden.

It almost wilted.

Windy wrath almost destroyed it all.

I had to search the silence
Try to understand myself through a tortured past, I had to tame your tyrant that grew inside my head.

I had to bear the weight of impatient voices that I could not repeat to anybody here
but the dead already know it,
Ones that died by their own hand.

I heard her thoughts breathe

said,

our roots go past the stars
hidden in our beating blood
is the whisper and light of God.

I have always had a place to sleep nights
with a roof over my head and my own bed
but my homeless state was out of sight
it was at a lonely space in my mind instead.

I cannot count the years I wandered
on rocky winding roads in dark
nor measure the grace and light I squandered
losing myself in distraction and work.  

I can’t remember not having a job
nor count the hours I’ve wasted,
nor the love and care I’ve robbed
nor the bread of life not tasted.

You won’t see me holding my cup
on the sidewalk in the city
my pride’s too great to give up
I won’t ask you for your pity.

Yes, I have often been hungry
I’ve been empty of inspiration
yearned for peace in my country
hoped for the source of creation.

But recently I’ve awakened
from the darkness I had roamed
found the road I wish I’d taken
to a deeper fuller higher home.

“Homeless,” Copyright © 2017 by Glenn Currier

You will wonder why your chest feels so tight whenever her name rolls over his tongue. Not me, but the other one.
The one who will always have a place in his heart.
Don't give up yet,
but listen to every story of them.
It will break you for sure, but you will know how once he loved someone that much.
You will find yourself think about him continually.
When you walk alone on the street,
when you are with your friends talking about life,
or simply when you wash your dishes.
You will think about him
in any places
in any situations
The thoughts of him will make your stomach churns,
like you've been riding a roller coaster for so long
Sometimes the excitement will put you on the top of the world
but then reality will take you down,
twist you around,
and flip you over.
Again. Don't give up yet.
Bring him muffin or take him out to have fudge brownie ice cream on the weekend. Those are his favorites.
Remind him to not sleep late because he will get tired and grumpy in the morning,
tell him it is okay not to be perfect all the time,
and the most important thing
be there for him when he is unhappy with his life or when the memories of her keep crashing back to him.
You might prepare a band aid for gashes that will be left in your heart.
But please don't give up yet.