paper airplanes cut through thick air
under a wide blue sky
filling the eye with the beauty of flying
vast space controlled by nothing
where you can be above it all,
planted firmly, or in the middle of it
watching the strom from above it's roots
ripping holes in clouds as I soar
learning to just breathe no matter the height
this is where you close your eyes,
empty your mind, breathe steadily,
and be
the challenge is finding this serenity
on the ground

Big brown door with sweaty palms slightly heeled shoes  
I press the button to let me in
locked, it is always locked
make sure it's locked
they can't get out for they know not where they will go,
or what they will do
Large building filled with gated in spaces,
Here, tears come by the bucket usually from the ones who can leave the locked doors behind
Here, for the first time I experienced someone who lost every memory every memory including love including family including friends
room after room filled with people who saw me yesterday but don't remember
Room after room filled with people who get visitors every week but still don't know who they are
Here they have a whole world in one building,
There is always with pudding
My second week there
A young man, maybe 25 walked in
his father looked at him and said
"I don't know who you are please go away"
he cried
"Dad, it's me"
This would be the first time I went to the bathroom to cry because I couldn't imagine forgetting a whole lifetime
The people here, most of them forgot a whole lifetime
A woman, 87, believes she is in fourth grade
we sit at a table and I teach her math
she tells me I am the best teacher ever
A man, 92, believes I am his granddaughter
I visit him every day
tell him stories of my childhood
he tells me he doesn't remember but that's okay because I can remind him
He isn't my grandpa but his actual grandkids don't visit
I'm happy to fill space
I get to leave the locked doors
I choose to go back in

whispering secrets that slowly seep through lips
as their ears bleed, stained red they are
yet they listen every time
something irresistibly juicy about a secret
can you handle such raw communication
your bright white teeth cutting through succulent words
filled with a concoction of lies and truths
figure out which is which, dare you
you crave it, knowledge that isn't your own
words skewered on a stick in a way you've never known
eat them up, but you'll never get your fill
don't give it away too fast, make them beg until they're ill
you can tell them the grass is green
and baby they will run with it, run fast
the only words they run with,
are the ones that slowly seep though lips
and make their ears bleed

I think I'll just keep the memories already made
you chose to follow the sun, where only light fuels your life
while I follow the moon, where I can chase the dark
where fear walks next to me instead of inside me
you said sadness and anger are too painful to feel
I say if that's how I feel then I will embrace it
I cry in the shower, throw things across the room
scream until my voice runs away
and yes, I wallow in a pool of my own tears
but know, I smile until my cheeks beg for rest
I laugh until my stomach hurts and my eyes water
dance everywhere, unburdened by confused stares
I'm sorry some thing are too painful for you
but that's why I follow the moon
he watches me cry it all away,
then he reminds me to smile

My biggest fear is being permanent
I don't want to be permanent
I don't want to sit still
Let's move across the world, find a small home
Always rearrange the furniture and when everyone knows our names
We will run away
Let's build a shack in a field of naked land
Make love until the weeds grow tall and the roof leaks
When we've spent our nails and the hammer runs dull
We will run away
Let's float on our backs in the ocean
Until our fingertips look like waves and salt eats away our worry
We can wash up on the shore and lay there for awhile
When the waves on our fingertips die
We will run away
And when you decide you want to be permanent
We will find you a home,
Where everyone knows your name, and you stay
When your nails are spent and your hammer is dull, you stay
And when the waves on your fingertips die, you stay
I'll cry when I leave and you will too
And I'm sorry, but I can't be permanent

You, the satellite filling the sky
Looking down on me as you often do
Tell me what do you see,
As you circle my world
Do your metallic limbs stiffen when you see my smile
Or do they remain lifeless, the ones I'm all too familiar with
Envy turns my teeth chattering and my eyes swollen
You, getting to hold the stars
As I get to cry beneath them
You soak up the suns warmth, less delayed
You, actual freedom
You, shiny even in the day
I don't envy you
I envy your strength to get away
I guess I'm too attached
Too many feelings demanding to be felt
Do you feel sad way up there?

You thought my heart rendered useless,
when you put it on my sleeve
locked your sights on my bulls eye heart
head start before the wolves join the party
puzzled is my face, as you stand straight across
so obsessed with winning
mind telling you to finish me off
as the last dart flew you saw the drum in my eye
my eyelashes batted causing ripples
your dart, it struck me, in my center
there is no gasp
you fear not winning
but baby I told you what I'm made of
I'm made of steel, my heart steel
assumed I'm cold, oh no
I'm the sun, ball of fire
and so I melt easily
I'm ice cream in the summertime,
consume me quick
can you handle my sugar on your tongue?
can you digest my love?
see, sometimes I'm not ice cream
sometimes I'm the bitter dirt under your fingernails
wash me away, clean your self of me
can you handle my bitterness on your tongue?
can you digest my flaws?
see, sometimes my name doesn't taste good
sometimes I'm the salt in between your teeth
the invasive lemon causing you to cringe
but baby I told you what I'm made of,
you thought you could break steel
there's your biggest mistake