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My head is a shroud
I am oblong silhouettes
Ambiguity
 Dec 2015 Caroline Lee
NV
i sometimes wonder why you still visit my mood swings,
left in abandoned playgrounds between my chest.
why you still visit even though the slides may only carry you down to somebody like me.
somebody difficult to love,
somebody who cannot tell the difference between crying and laughing anymore.
why you haven't left this soul,
who's bones can't seem to find enough strength to push my side of the sea saw,
who can't seem to move past three poles on the monkey bar,
simply because of the weight on top of my shoulders.
this flesh of complete brokeness that couldn't bare ringa ring rosie,
because at some point one gets tired of always falling.
i often wonder, why me.
why me, with all my chipped paint and countless dents.
why you still visit,
when this isn't the grass on other side that's greener.
because God knows,
i'd understand if you look for a park elsewhere.
a park worthy of you.
I'm terrified of the fall
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
So it's hard for me to flap my wings
I'm a creature of the land
Of the sea
My emotions are something like a sheer mountain.
No peak
Only a plateau
I climb with my eyes on the sky
Reach the level earth
And make the mistake of looking down.
And my body follows my gaze.
Indefinitely.
What you had, provided stability
What you had also caused countless moments of toil, discomfort, and an overall sense of stagnation
What you had, threw you to the side
Rejected; no need for you there anymore
Well if they don't need you
You don't need them
You weren't growing anyways
You were stagnant
And deep down you will always dispise mediocrity
In you or in anyone else
So reject it before it rejects you
Save your time and your dignity for the people and pursuits that are worthy of it.
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