Walking up to the big beautiful house.
a mansion of sorts.
Open the door, revel in the amazing novelties in each room.
The bookshelf.
The big piano.
The grand staircase.
The host tells her to head up to her quarters.
Up the stairs she floats
her head in a daze from the extravagance surrounding her.
Into the room that could fit a barn,
she gazes around.
Her eyes glance over
the desk
the armoire
the windows with a view
the doors to the bathroom
finally,
the giant bed.
white sheets
white pillows
white blankets
pure, fine, snowy.
Her legs blur and she bounds into the bed.
As she snuggles in,
her heart drops.
She hates it here.
She wants to leave.
The door locks behind her.
She calls for the host.
Screams to be released.
Demands to leave the beast.
But the beast will never leave.
He begins to come alive.
She sees a kitchen knife.
Suddenly, she, herself, is the enemy.
The beast tells her what to do.
get the legs, the arms, ribs and face, too.
Her body drains, every second is another pint.
Her breath smells of blood
Her hair matted, but
She finally finds peace.
She remembers how she loves the beast.
But no.
She can't stay.
What of her friends?
She can't leave the devastation behind.
These lives are more than a tweak of the spine.
Her ****** knees shake
Her gashed elbows tremble
They need me! They need me! It's not this simple!
As I awake from this dream
I know what I need.
I feel my heart beat
as even my eyes bleed.

We all have this pretense of perfection.
No one wants to believe in flaws.

We are pushed to be perfect.
Pushed so hard.
Pushed too far.

Reaching perfection
Is like touching the sky.

Always the goal
Not ever probable.

Many think that perfection is a dream.
Instead, it's a nightmare.

A nightmare we wake up crying from.

Love is the beginning and the end.

Perfection is a nice image
But never believe that it will happen.

Every day we get closer to perfection
And yet, we will never be as close
As we are right now.

Shh! Quiet down
Shut your mouth.
Hear that sound?
It's drowning you out.

Listen close.
Silent as a ghost.

The whimpering
The barking
The biting
The fighting

Do you see them?
Inside your life's hole.
They're there
Fighting for your soul.

One dog,
Black as night
It seems as though he's winning the fight

The other,
Brighter than light.
Covered in wounds, he doesn't move.

I kneel next to the ****** hound,
But I leave kibble all around.

The black one eats
'til he's had his fill.

The white one lifts his head for a crumb of strength
I push his head back down and stroke him lovingly

But comfort means nothing when he's dying
The black dog's finished, he comes up beside me,
His head in my lap.
The white dog's crying.

The puddle of blood grows
I am being swallowed whole.

I see the flames beneath
So I jump to my feet.
I lean over to see.

The black dog's tail swings side to side
As he looks his master in the eye.
Is it possible for a dog to smile?

I begin to fear
I pull the white dog near.

The dark one growls
My heart rejoices

"I don't understand"
The white one wails.
His eyes close.
Stillness covers his tail.

My eyes overflow
My face breaks down
My hands grasp out
I'm falling down.

This agony is leaving
My chest no longer heaving

But the black dog grabs me
Pulls me from peace
Tosses me aside
I lean on the beast

I look to the white dog
Sadness fills my heart

But then,

His eyelids part.

But the black dog has quite the head start.

The fear of the unknown
caused by self-inflicted anxiety
eventually leads to a
hunger for success
through the music of your voice
you see past my pretenses.

I'm scared

I don't want to be here.

I'm terrified.

I don't want to leave.

I'm alone.

I don't want anyone.

I'm sad.

I just want a hug.

Lock the muzzle
On that stupid mutt.
Don't let it cry.
Keep It shut.

If it makes a sound,
Kick it down.
Just pop it hard,
Right on the snout.

Master knows best.
Master above pet.
If it scratches the door,
Slam its foot.

"Don't you whine!"

"Don't you cry!"

"I swear to God!"

"You whimper, you die!"

That dog is nothing
But a mouth to feed.
And if there's no food
Then there is no need.

Don't you dare.
Please, I beg.
Don't make a sound
Or you'll lose your head.

How did I get here?
Where did I turn wrong?
When will I find the map back home?

Who to turn to
     When your arms are long gone.

Your whispers fading with distance

I just can't make myself believe.
Like an Israelite, I need tangibility.
I need constant proof.

My fort of safety drove off in a van.
The love of my life is now a man.