Handwriting is a personality of the pen
no,the hand,
no,the writer,
no,society,
no,the human,
no,the water,
no, the ink,
No
It's the art of trying not to sink

Today I woke up
And I stayed in my sleep
I was meant to walk on dreams
I know this all seems…
Like a dedication to a lunatics life
But i’m dancing on clouds
In a world that allows
The freedom to be
Or the freedom to see
Every color, Every sound
Everything lost that’s also found
In the world where dreams are alive
Awakened and forsaken
For royalty and those who wish to die and survive
Today I woke up
And smiled because
I can finally exist
As a royal outlaw

Summer sets its heavy heels
on top of the changing trees,
Like the season I waste away,
I will decay...
from drinking too much bleach.

But the ***** killed me more
as I let it burn my throat,
As I let myself blackout,
Only to wake up in the middle
of another conversation I’ll regret,
As I promise i’m still sane.

My mind poisoned me more
than the misunderstood bleach ever could.

This head of mine has ****** me dry.
Forced me to think alive.
But die inside my bones.

But worst of all...
It cut my tongue and blinded me
to the point where I thought I actually
wanted to see.

What was a timeless girl
Turns into summer rain
Spring flowers
And falls change

Winter chill frozen on your lips
But all I need is a chance
To dance with you
In a eclipse

Look at me in danger eyes
The blood on your wrist has no disguise
All this pain that seems so real
Eventually you will not feel

You can wait for a change
But it’s far better living on the stage
With flesh and blood carved out
On marble thrones, Singing dark tones

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Just ask me to
And i'll fall for you
And I don’t care what you do or say
As long as you’re in my arms
Everything’s okay

Breathe In! Breathe Out!

Let the waves take you
Ride the ocean in my arms
Takes the sea
And stop accepting this harm

Have you heard the gun shots?
Have you felt the stab?
You’re living in a dystopia
Depressions on your tab

Just try to push me away....
You’re walking nowhere
Looking for a change
Boiled in anger
Destroyed by rage
But this light?
It gives you a timeless age

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Just ask me to
And i'll fall for you
And I don’t care what you do or say
As long as you’re in my arms
Everything’s okay

Ugly.Hit Repeat.Ugly still.Talking,Talking,Talking.Rumors.She doesn’t even…..He is just faking…Pointless.Pulsing through the hallways. Heads don’t turn.Still ugly.Enter the doorway.Copper countries are dripping on the wall.***** hit cold seats.Still ugly.Now there’s more.Fat *****.Still Ugly.Muffled sounds through my head.My name rings as if hit by a bell.Caroline.Fat.Caroline.*****.Caroline.Ugly.My hand salutes the air.Ugly.Scattering out of the copper flooded doorway.Ugly.Saltwater fresh on my face.Ugly.Fat.*****.Repeat.Repeat.Repeat.REPEAT.REPEAT.snap.bang.­Red stained walls.Ugly.Ugly.Ugly.Still ringing through my head like the bullet.Release.Releasing.Released.Eyes open. Ugly Fat *****.Wasteland.

I will always prefer twigs over your diamonds

I've always been that girl

Playing in the mud

And laughing 'till i cry

An odd one?

M a y b e

But trust me

I'f you ever find me on the street

Say  a n y t h i n g

I don't need diamond words

When i have my twig

S m i l e,

And my youth

I thought your chest
was a hole
to another galaxy

and the only way
I could touch
the stars

was to tear you apart.

Ash falls from the clear blue sky
The heat of flames crackle nearby

As the key to be free turns
And the excitement of freedom burns

As your shackles and chains fall off your cold wrists
And you prepare to use your fists

But no one is there to fight you but a mirror
and now you see everything clearer

the only person holding you down was yourself
and now you know the feeling of freeing yourself

You tried to change me and i just walked away
I'm not sorry
I said goodbye and just left
And I'm not sorry
I didn't forgive you
And I'm not sorry
I told you how i felt about you
And I'm not sorry
I gave up everything to forget you
And I'm not sorry
I did what i wanted
And I'm not sorry
I don't love you
And I'm not sorry

I took advantage of you
And I'm sorry
I didn't listen to you
And I'm sorry
I never opened up
And I'm sorry
I never answered your questions
And I'm sorry
I lied to you
And I'm sorry
I changed you
And I'm sorry
I let us burn out
And I'm sorry

But what I'm truly sorry for
Is i broke your heart
While trying to find mine

I am my tan lines, The marks burnt into my skin
I am my smile, festering emotions from within
You've seen my markings
You've seen my sins
But you'll never see
Where I need to begin

My mind is numb
My skin cold from the ice in my veins
I'm a corpse that's alive
I'm awake after I died
My fingertips are thorns
My nails are frost
My knuckles are gems
So as I punch, They are lost
My eyes are glass
As I blink and cry they crack
My throat is sore
I dare not scream anymore
My mouth is a rose
That died before it's bloom
My lips are petals
And they burn as I kiss the devils heirlooms
My back is stem
That lovers break
As they try to rescue the daisies
That aren't in my head, but they're still fake
My body is a garden
That winter will always touch
It isn't groomed or seeded
So my heart's weeds will flourish in this rust

I am not a wreck
I am the wreckage
of cigarette butts and stardust
I'm betting you're not in love
And I'm hoping that I'm right
Why love a girl who denies her own flight

I am not a tragedy
I am the unconfined breeze
That destroys the home of ideas

I am the smoke you release from your lungs
You said once, it was beautiful as it evaporates

Am I beautiful as I evaporate?

Red petals drop off the tree
Blood glistens off the sword
A woman's grief gives relief
To those that go to war

Waterfalls flow off the cheeks of rocks
Spraying drops of oceans salt
As the ravens fly around me in flocks
Reminding me that I'm the one at fault

Tenor my thoughts
Relieve my stress
Balance my heartache
Rivers water
Flow through me
Take me apart from you

I don't make a impact
I simply breeze around others lives
Forever just to be a girl they once knew
I'm nothing in this world filled with
Hate and love
Just a kid with unheard opinions
And broken screams

Father
And
Mother
I
Love
You

Razor eyes stare through the glass
As fading light lies in bed
With rushing hope scrambling around
And robotic death sentences slowing there beeps
As shadows whisper welcoming words
To unknown callers
Silent screams of repent to undo a hopeless cause
And brilliant white sheets soon to be folded
With chilling beds and underground havens
Will tears touch the freshly placed dirt
Where your body lies,never to see the sun again
We remember the last moments
Of the sad truth

Open up the circle box
Slowly and fragile
All the same

Feel the impact of what's inside
Look into its crystal glass
See yourself looking back

Through the time warped mirror
Back to the days
Where your smile never left

Slowly feel the empty
Blank
Where your ears should be

You can not hear
How can you know?
A wishful smile breaks

Oblivion slowly wraps itself around you
As your sight is blinded
And you are alone

So call me, tell me, What you can do?
My queen of hearts is falling for you.
Call me baby, yes, tell me what I should do!
It's for you, see me painting these roses brand new?

And you’re just a white rabbit that never dug your own hole.
You wander through Wonderland looking for the right role.
But you’re always in a rush to find love,
And you run right past Alice, Even though she was your sign that fell from above.

Do I exist, I fear, O, I fear I disappear.
But my cheshire grin stands strong.
You can call me strange, But it's really the curiosity that you see as a bit queer.
But no one ever said that was wrong.

So call me, tell me, What you can do?
My queen of hearts is crumbling for you.
Call me baby, yes, tell me what I should do!
It's for you, see me painting these roses brand new?

Oh, I've made a world of my own.
Eat me, Drink me, and it can be your home.
Oh Suitable, They scream "Off with your head"
Darling I will protect you from the the 7 of aces that are chrome red.

What's a celebration? A unbithday I beg!
Shall we celebrate with tea? Or with lies on our teeth?
Wonderland has captured us, Pulled us in by our legs.
Because when you play with strangers, You see the magic of underneath.

So call me, tell me, What you can do?
My queen of hearts is falling for you.
Call me baby, yes, tell me what I should do!
It's for you, see me painting these roses brand new?

To hell
We part on sacred soil
A cemetery
We do uncoil

Creeping out
Of wretched tombs
rising up
To create ones gloom

Shatter panes
Crunch beneath are kind
As we march
Waiting to embrace the find

Our game
We play with hitched delight
Crawling to you
And triggering your flight

My name is
A gruel of zombie kind
Raging through
To make death and divine

not everything is art
not every word spewed is a metaphor
but ****, you are the ******* poem
with no punctuation
racing between sentences
and stoping
when the flow begs you to go on.

not everything is art
not all brushstrokes make a masterpiece
but ****, your fingerprints swirl sunsets
smudged into my rough canvas of a body
dripping pigment into my pores
stroke by stroke.

not everything is art
but ****, you are.

There was once hope
And I knew how to cope
But my mother ran away to elope
And I started to depend on dope
As I tried to hang myself with rope

The darkness won
I forgot how to have fun
I wanted my life to be done
I learned what it's like to be shunned
And the pain weighed me down as if it was 1,000 tons

So I started seeing a therapist named Lee
But eventually she had too high of a fee
And I was alone with the monsters inside of me
They kept biting and cutting, They never let me be
And all the scars, No one would ever see

As the pain remained, I grew old
I never could fit in a happy, smiling mold
And it was my suicide note that I decided to fold
And all my treasures have been sold
Suicide took me, My heart died cold.

The sun is setting
The cars are still comatose
******* New Jersey

Now this aching feeling
It's tearing me apart
And this devilish endeavor
It's pulling us apart
Now we're lost in tragedy
Lost in the fired sky
The planes flew away but
Put us back to the start

Lock me up in this night sky
Because I want to breathe in the stars
Let the galaxy blend into my body
And my heart to be in tune with Mars

I know one day I'll have to see your face
And I know my throat will be clogged
Because being with your smile
Is something my soul will keep logged

We're nothing but dust and diamonds
We're everything we've ever said
You're a lover and I'm a lost dreamer
And that's why our eyes are ringed red

Could you come down from the clouds?
And just surround my dark life
We've always known we are our own disasters
But we're each others rescues that make sense of the strife

One day I woke up
And they called it being alive
And I took this gift for granted
So I cried
“Look at Mommy”, “Mommy” help me
But then I didn’t know
What’s a Mother? What’s a Mother?
A Mother is Hope

One day I opened up my eyes
I searched quickly what’s around me
I found Sisters, I found a Father
I found a family,
And a beautiful Mother too
What’s a Mother? What’s a Mother?
A Mother is the one who stood back and smiled as you grew

I found my Mother in memories
In the sand, snow, and sun
I found my Mother loving melodies
That in her mind goes unnamed
I found my Mother with open arms
Where she swore I didn’t deserve harm

I found my Mother where there were few
And I love my Mother,
And my Mother is you.

Cavernous spaces
Divide our youth
Holding us back from
Tainted truth

Words left untitled
To wander our mind
Slowing seeping
Into the divine

Close the doors
To cruel fate
Shut the windows
Could it be a mistake?

Wall up in safe simplicity
What is there to lose at this rate?
Can we contain every fear?
Could we ever use someone as bait?

If the Hermit does repent
And slowly opens up his gate
He may shake and tumble through
But he has escaped

Far to often I find that I spit my words out
Not to let them be known but to shun them from my brain
What's the point of picking careful words
When all that's left of them is stale, bitter, cold?
I find myself closing my eyes
Trying to imagine a better day
But days don't get better
Days can't get worse
Days steep in kettles
In till they are poured
Our hands are teacups
It explains all the burns
We stick out our tongues for a sip
Of the day that left in the empty spaces
Spaces we purposely put between our fingers
I chug the tea that is now cold
Reminding me of memories
That stuck to the leaves in a metal ***
I go to the garden
and pluck my lies and wrap them up
Here my love, take a bouquet
I swear, I swear, I swear.
I spit my words.
I drop my days.
I close my eyes.
And I can't be saved.

I'll never cross a bridge
into a different state of mind
The traffic of my nerves
would never pardon me or be so kind.
But the currents pulsing
in the wires above my head
are burning into my skull
my joints convulse
and flicker my soul,
morse code for
"Do or Die"
as in,
Do not call this a tragedy
Or an impeding doom, I'll
Die in the confines of Kobains last words
"It's better to burn out then fade away"
I'll be better as charred dust
in the minds those who feel dismay,
then are like the life of the unexpected victims heart, eternally in delay

I am not a quotation in your own autobiography. I am a ******* novel.
I am not a faded memory in a photo album. I am a ******* timeless piece of art.
I will not be referred to in past tense, for I am real and present.
In life, In Death, In the Between.
I am necessary, needed, noticed, and ******* glowing.