I drink to every night that you don't text me
Wasted
That girl up on the bar
Making a fool of herself
Mumbling, slurring

What we once had is no more
So brief, I should have known
Blame myself. All of it.

Silly boy, don't you know.
You are the kind.
The kind of boy that does this.
The kind that breaks girls.
Kills their spirits.
Turns them heartless.

The next girl to blow you off,
The next unforgiving ***** to ruin your day with her condescending, catty comments?

She had a spirit once
She once lived
She was once carefree and full of love

You took her happiness in hand
Grew it, fostered it,
let it fly,
And then destroyed it.

You killed her

You drove her to bottles
Those of alcohol, those of pills
Her addiction that she's now just over
She may be better.
She's still broken.

The insecurities and depression still linger.

Silly boy, you didn't think
You don't realize
The chaos
The headaches
The stupidity
She felt

You're ******* horrible.

My words may be distasteful
least they are true
My words may be distasteful
But your actions disgust me
You and your cigarette breath
Your lies
Your actions and words are one in the same

I wish I could let you have me
-Not the way you had me last night-
I cannot bring myself
To open up.
I will not sacrifice my life for love
Oh how I wish I could
I wish I could

I will shut you out
And out you shall stay
With all of the other dogs,
Though a dog you are not.

Your song is sweet.
Your smile is genuine.
Your love is dangerous, dangerous to me.

But I, the *****, cannot.
I, the *****, will not.
I deserve better,
And so do you.

You and I.
It ended where it began.
When it began.
How and why it began.
It was all
Finite.
My words,
Cold and sharp.
My words,
Harsh and quick
-clean break-
Runaway faster
Cover the emotions
Let the words be empty
Let them mean nothing
Let you mean nothing
To me
Anymore.

Without second thought
You are gone.
I created this
I created the you my heart cannot bear
I say when you leave
You leave now.
No tears
El corazon mio
No existe.
My soul is stuck here
But I'll let yours leave.

Editing
Yet worsening
Criticizing
Now there's tears
Knowing what you want
Knowing how to get there
Fear leads you elsewhere
So real here
that it is absolute
This is forever
Nothing
A black hole
Never to escape

I dance the dance
You light up
Eye roll.
You say you love me
I tell you you don't mean it

I know that you do

Sympathy, I feel for once. Almost.
I pull away
I feel nothing again
And I know not if I'm cowardly
If I'm heartless
Or simply if I am not yours.

The "I should have known"s
The regrets
The time wasted

                                  I can waste my time. But others,
                                                others cannot waste mine.
Anger.

The "how could I be so stupid"s

Dis
         App
                     Ointment

I let them lift me up so high
I let them in
And up is where they leave me
They leave me
And it's my fault
It has to be
And what goes up must come down
And down I go so fast
Crashing to the pavement
I break all my bones

Every **** time
And I never learn
And I never completely close my heart

I should

Hire 1000 of the king's strongest if only to protect

But all the king's horses and all the king's men
Won't put me together again

The crash
I fell right through
I fell so hard
And that's how

It was over before it had begun
Because by the time
You got around
Said something
Said anything
I was over you
On to the next
Moving on
I had stood a midst the rubble
Coughed the debris out of my lungs
Found the one ray of sunshine
hiding behind the clouds and seized it
Hair in the breeze of the meadows
Or at least that's how I see myself,
The me of then.

The actual
Was actually much less graceful
I never knew heartache was physical.
I didn't think it made the exhales so much deeper.
I had no idea the heart would retract itself,
But there it will hide
Even harder for the next to find

I had reasons,
But now they're gone
I found love
And since have lost it

Because as complex as we are,
It's easy to simplify.
We can harness what is around us.
You want it or you don't.