…You talk too much
    Your tiny pill word *****
    Is making me overdose

And then I die and go to your garden
And see you’re the thorn that keeps ******* the weeds
Around my small little grave
And then ****** the seeds
And you smell like dirt
And everything bad in death
And I want to tear you like a dying scroll
Whose paper renders weak like my fading breath
But I can’t tear you apart
When I’m already torn head to toe myself
So I relinquish all master controls
And lay my only soul to rest

There’s this hole in me
It’s infinite
I am infinity
     And this bed is a web
     And I am stuck in its sticky sheets
     That are weaving in and out of the crevices of my body

And my ceiling fan is growing legs
And eight beady, focused eyes
That are hovering over me with malicious intent

        And my floor is twenty stories below me
Filled with the echoes of lost dust bunnies
Who can’t save me from the beast

This hole is still gaping
And it’s hungry; ravenous
     I am the beast
    And I can’t save me from myself

I am unsure of most things
    Like the number of marbles in the jar
       Or which letters are in my soup
          Or how many words are in a book

But I am sure of some things
    Like the color blue in the sky
       And that darkness comes at night
          And that there’s blood in my veins

I am unsure of most things
    Like the names of all that have died
       Or where my dreams come from
          Or how to ride that stupid bike

But I am sure of some things
    Like the space next to me in my bed
       And that the clock is still ticking
          And that Time refuses to let you go

I could spend all my time
Tripping on these weeds
Lingering on broken dreams
     Or memories I don’t need

I could spend all my time
Swimming in another sea
Under some other moon
     Or under some other tree

But then I’d think too much
And then it’d seem all wrong
And then I’d feel too much
     And then I would be gone…

I keep thinking that if I lose you

…I lose myself                    

That I’ll melt into the backdrop
Behind the main actors of the show

That I’ll drown in two-feet deep water

That rain will only lead to floods
And heat will only lead to fires

That the wind will blow over my house

That the sky will come down upon me
With the moon and the sun and the stars

That my sheets will strangle me at night


And then I realize that if I lose you

…I’ll be okay

You blinked once




…And then I was gone…

Like rain on the windshield of your car
Like some disappearing act
Where the rabbit gets lost in the hat

Accept I was lost in time
And Time is needy and greedy
And wont give me back

I sing the blues because you and I
Are not the same

    You are the ravenous night
      The meteors that crash and burn
        That wicked breath, coming from a rotten core
           Filling up my lungs like liquid metal

    You are the cold I feel
       When I forget my coat on the chair
         That evil temptress that lures me in
           And then strangles me until I see white


                                 But…


                                     I want you to be the summer rain
                                 The neutral waves that roll over my toes
                              The words from my childhood stories
Caressing my mind with visions of castles in the sky


                                               I want you to be the eyes of a doe
                                         Who’s innocence has yet to be lost
                                      The soft snow that kisses my nose
And playfully bites my skin while dancing in circles

Then I wouldn’t have to sing the blues
Because I'd still love you