I remember late nights
    Perched up against white stucco wall
       Listening to the radiator talk in tongues
And the crickets sing a symphony

I remember that burn in my throat
     Like creatures with claws climbing down from the bottle
       While you stared back at the room
Watching her dream of childhood memories

I remember I wasn’t her
    And I didn’t have that same transparent skin
      And I couldn’t see what she had dreamt
      


But I could dream, too

I wait for years for the Big Return
  Your head is on the wrong pillow
  My heart is in the wrong box
And I’m waiting for you to come back to bed
                          And tell me the crash is over


The wait feels like a river
And there I go away from my dreams
And common sense

I can’t save myself from the waterfall

It’s hard when I hit the bottom
And I’m soft
Concrete against cloth

You sit pretty
You’re face like stone
Chiseled and aging
But you are the same
The only thing to remain here

I pass you everyday on my stroll
To the market
And I glace in your direction
With hopeful eyes
Hope for mineral to flesh

While you brush past me on streets
In postcards
In my dreams
Scampering by me in hallways
That I’ve dreamt up

And on nights when my room
Feels like a prison
Icy and barren
I sit by your feet and
Gaze at the stars
And wish that one-day
You’ll wake up

I measured the space in between

My room smells like ***, and distant memories

The floorboards feel like quicksand

There’s a strange smell in the air

Is it me?







Or the guilt?

Sometimes I wonder if I think too hard
     Will my head float up into outer space?
Or maybe the ascent won’t be so slow
Instead, swift and reckless
Like a missile
      Like a black hole

Morning my brain is hollow
With little holes in it where sunlight shines through
Making shapes on my walls

At night I’m here
All of me
Against the masses of sleeping faces

People shut off
I turn on

No one’s going to love a man-eater, right?
Even if they have a heart…

Mine’s the size of Jupiter
                            But you gave me Pluto