The waves roll onto the shore
Dampening my feet...
Imagine being swept away
Drifting out afar...
What force keeps me standing
I want to fall...
Drowning in peaceful waters
Gone just like that.
Footprints left in the sand
For the next...

My life that's just so hectic
Is far from calming down
Stress levels overflow
Aggravated by every sound.

My head like a volcano
ready to errupt to the max
what I wouldn't give for
Just one day to relax.
                                                      
No kids yelling, "Mommy"
Laundry that's already clean
A house so immaculate
Not even dust is seen.

Dishes washed and put away
The floors all nicely swept
Everything in its place
Exactly where its kept.

A massage for the body
Jacuzzi for the mind
A drug to make me stressless
It doesn't matter what kind.

Slave-free environment
No duties to acquire
Living just ONE day of freedom
To do what I desire.

Perhaps I wake up feeling lazy
Or I wake up wanting to shop
It will be my choice to do
whatever until I drop.

If the house turns to chaos
Or crashes to the ground
At least I'll know that when it did
ONE day of freedom I had found.

Beautiful as a rose in full bloom
Although my mother, I never knew
Priceless days spent together
In my life I can't remember
When I was four my life was changed
By a man who had no face or name
His soul survived on evil alone
Hell is now his comforting home
My mother was beauty upon this earth
Her intentions were full of peace and worth
So young and frail it had to end
Taking away my mother, my friend
Even though her body is gone
Inside mine her spirit lives on
The beauty she natured, the love she shared
Was a mile of fortune that can never be compared
Two little girls who reflect from her life
Even through suffering heartache and strife
From her strength and her wisdom we shall prevail
For the rest of our lives her story we'll tell
How beauty and innocense can be stolen away
Yet, remain on solid ground each day.
This is how I'll remember no other
Because for me, my life, is lived for my mother.

Picking you up
Tears fall down my face
As I look into your eyes
The ones I once loved
There is nothing.

Holding you in mid air
I ask, "WHY?"
Angry and hurt, I curse you
It was my heart, my heart
Not yours....never yours.

The beautiful smiles
The innocent heart
Dying just to be loved
Lips like that of rose petals
No other soul so complete.

As I hold you in my hands
The reflection I see, is not you
Lest mine eyes misjudge the reflection
It is evil that lurks about you
Slithering through your veins.

Afraid of my discovery
I fall to my knees
Asking God for the forgiveness
Of the crime I am about to commit
Killing the only one I ever truly loved.

Holding you higher, I glare into your eyes
Once what was beautiful, is now evil
I loved you, I needed you, you killed me
Now your death awaits you
Here in my own loving hands.

As I lower you into my arms
I look deep into your eyes
The Porcelain doll I once loved
Who's beauty captivated the world
Most of all, captured my heart.

Your head I bash onto the floor
Awaiting to hear you scream
Each time I bash, I yell every word
that reminds me of who you truly are
Deceitful, liar, dishonest, and fake.

To your death I take you
Leaving you no time to beg
As for me, I am once again complete
Knowing that you cannot hurt me anymore
I am strong, and I will survive.

As for you, my sweet, little porcelain doll
You shall forever be nothing more
Than pieces of my life that I ripped apart
thrown into a plastic bag
Buried in your favorite rose garden.

Everyday as I walk passed this garden
That we so lovingly planted together
I smile, not in remembrance of you
But in remembrance of the life
you gave to me, and the death I gave to you....

My little Porcelain Doll.

Too young to lay my head down
Pretend that all is well
I see my life before my eyes
Now there is no time left to tell.

I should not have been selfish
Nor should I have gotten mad
I'm sorry that I walked away
From the last chance we ever had

I knew of the chance I was taking
When I left you there that night
Now before my very eyes
Lays the truth beneath my sight.

You're beat and you're battered
Cut all over the place
Blood fills the shirt you wear
From the beating of your face.

Beneath you lies the picture
Where our lives were all we knew
Now the life I loved so much
Is gone, what will I do?

The tears I shed are like acid
They burn right through my skin
There will never be another time
To go back and do it again.

Regret and pure torture
For the rest of my life
I will wake up every day
Feeling no less than pain and strife.

My life will be empty and sad
As I journey away without you
"God won't you take my life"
For I know not what else I can do.

Placing my body into the water
My face falls under, not able to breath
Now I will have no more pain
No more reason to wake up and grieve.

I'm off to start my journey
Not as beautiful a journey as thee
But for reasons no one will ever understand
Beauty I deserve not to see.

Tears...
I shed for you,
The man who stole my soul
Just a small and helpless child
Having no control.

Hatred...
I feel for you,
For my innocense you violated
Being just a small child
Your sickness I tolerated.

Evil....
I see in you,
For giving me a life filled with fear
Every time the lights went off
I knew you would be near.

Forgiveness....
I have none for you,
You made my heart wither away
Disgust in the mirror was all I could see
Each and every day.

Pain....
I wanted for you,
For all the pain you gave unto me
All the years of torture and fear
I had to make you see.

Death....
I wished for you,
Because you took my childhood from me
Knowing you were still alive
I could not let it be.

Smiling...
I am for you....
For you taught me something in life
No matter what you may encounter
You can become stronger in time.

Happiness....
I stole from you,
Because you always stole from me
When you died, I was reborn
My innocense was set free.

When I was just a little girl
I'd wish for many things,
The one I can remember most
was the fairy dress with wings.

Just to have a set of wings
To soar up in the sky
To imagine as a little girl
With wings, “I could fly.”

My wish was never granted
The wings, they never came
Instead I got a fancy dress
I loved it all the same.

As the years began to pass me by
My wishes became very few
For something about being older
Wishes don't seem to come true.

Just out of curiosity this year
I decided to make a final wish,
Instead of asking for material things
My wish went something like this...

Oh, Knight in shining armor
This wish I send to you
Please hear my plea of mercy
And come to my rescue.
Come take me on a journey
To that land so far away
The land of love you come from
Take me there this day.
Hold me forever in your presence
Keep me captive in your sight
I shall never escape your love
If you take me there, this night.

With all the years that passed me by
This wish, I did receive
Now with all my heart and soul
In wishes I  believe.

It took me by surprise, you see
Cause my wishes never came true
But never before, had I ever wished
For someone as wonderful as YOU.