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You were the last person
I thought
Would put a hammer to my soul;

and the first person I thought
That would close
The hole.

The kissing, the stares.
The stroking of hair.
All transparent; but placed with care.

You say you still love me,
And I don't know how.
Why didn't you love me then
Instead of now?

I was in love,
And you were out.
You dealt your blow
Now you come about?

Picking, and digging
For treasures once walked over?

Caressing my heart like it is glass,
When it is in shards;

Cut your fingers
on the remnants
Of your actions;

You won't feel a fraction
Of the wound
Between my ribs.
I didn't know
You weren't happy.
I had no idea

Until I saw
The star in your eye
disappear,

Your dimples get shallow
and the creases around your eyes
fade with your smile.

I have tried so hard
To be the water
Warming you in the shower.

But now I can see,
I am burning
your skin.
 May 2013 Canaan Massie
Molly
Out of the frying pan
into the fire.
From one prying hand,
to another entire.
The whole of the universe, chanting together,
*burn it down,
burn it down.
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
Molly
Fight twice,
it's even harder the second time.
And you win nothing
either time.
It just hurts.
Both times.
Fight twice,
just so you can finally know
what it feels like to lose
everything.
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
Molly
We Are
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
Molly
The problem with people is that we are trapped.
We are boundless in our imagination and curiosity, and yet we may only conduct ourselves within the tiny window of our own perception of the world. We wonder about what is behind, beneath, beyond what we can see. We need to know why, why, why, what accident or plan or catastrophe forged the human consciousness? What carpenter, what architect, what tools built these bodymindsoul creatures that stir and writhe in their own confusion? We are like caterpillars who have inched their way to the end of the stem, stretching ourselves out into terrifying oblivion in hopes of finding something new to hold on to. We push ever so slowly at the boundaries of life, expanding it, nudging at the walls of the absolute. We have grown too big to fit inside the thin shell of reality which perception traps us in.
Sometimes the imagination takes over, forces itself to crack through the frail, eggshell layer of reality and look oblivion in the eyes, to know once and for all whether dead and alive are any different at all, and what came before, and what will come after. Reality pales in comparison to the infinity of the human consciousness. In the mind, there is no before or after- only whether or not.

Once you shatter reality, you will see the universe unfold before you like a blanket. Its secrets will form lines and shapes, rivers and mountains across a map, showing what is, what has always been, and what will always be. You will know infinity. But no one will ever believe you.
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
Molly
The child inside me awakens first.
She's too excited to sleep any longer.
She sees the light crack through the blinds
and a glimmer of excitement begins to flicker inside her.
A new day already?

But the adult in me soon follows, swinging heavy feet over the edge of the bed,
rubbing bleary eyes.
The child drags her along, pointing to the morning sun,
telling her,
Look, look! Another day, another day!
She looks, humors the kid.
Seeing the sun again makes her nauseous.
The adult in me yawns, makes the coffee,
stares in the mirror for a bit too long. Considers getting back into bed.

The child in me wonders every night, what good will tomorrow bring?
The adult in me does not wonder. Stopped wondering long ago.
She knows exactly what tomorrow will bring.

The child wishes all the time that she could be awake.
The adult begs all the time for the world to let her sleep.
They are both crying this morning.
We are both crying this morning,
because today is exactly what half of me
expected it to be.
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
blythe
I said "Leave me alone"
But I really want you to stay by my side
Wanting to feel you more.

I said "I'm fine"
Though I'm really not
While pretending I'm really just fine.

I said "I don't love you"
But when you look into my heart,
You'll see your name written all over it.

I said "I moved on"
Though I'm still under the shadows of my past
Not letting me move forward.

I said "I surely can do it"
But there are a lot of doubts and fear inside me
Putting my hopes down.

I said "I'm brave and strong"
Though I have never been that tough enough
Always being afraid of going beyond my comfort zone.

I said "I'm like an open book"
But the truth is I have never let anyone see the whole real me
Still hiding under my shell like a frightened turtle.

Sometimes, what I said is not what I really mean
Making others confused of my real thoughts and feelings.
 Apr 2013 Canaan Massie
Cora Lee
Tomorrow is a new day.
The perfect time to start anew.
A blissful, reaccuring second chance.

Tomorrow, I will wear the same face.
I will not be seen.
I will be in pain all the time.

Tomorrow, I will not search for something more.
I will not try to fix the world.
I will ignore my longing to break away.

Tomorrow is a blessing.
A forgotten and perfect gift.
The strange comfort in it's presence.

But Tomorrow, I will give up again.
I will not feel.
I will stumble through without a second glance.

But Tomorrow, I will try to be better
I will not give in to the cycle.
I will live my life to the fullest the day allows.
Gaping holes
Fill my soul
And make my heart a sponge.

It only absorbs
The painful water
And filters out the love.

My tears are fresh,
The blankets cold,
And now my warmth is gone.

I sit and listen
To silent weeping
That plays the night a song.

The opened heart
That threatens to flee
Is begging and pleading to close.

Still, it cannot;
The key was stolen
By the lover I chose.
Sitting at the table
She appeared as a boquet
Of roses, ****** red.

He can smell her scent
Admire the beauty
Brush his hand upon her head.

Although she blooms
And her stems are ripe
She feeds on only pain.

So on this flower,
Thorns cut smart,
And through his soul they slain.
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