I'm digging a hole deep and wide
I'll bury my love for you inside
then I'll fill it in, right to the top
and stamp it down, in hope to stop
these feelings that stumble from my core
and silence them forever more.

I'm building a wall as high as I might
behind it I'll hide my heart and my light
some stones once removed, now back, standing tall
they'll keep me within and forbid me to fall.

I'll paint on my smile, cherry red beaming wide
I'll laugh when expected, though empty inside
I'll move through this life like I haven't a care
but if you look closely
You'll see I'm not there.

A fool and her heart are easily parted,
there is nothing broken that cannot be mended.

There's a mirror in the bedroom
in it stands a dying girl
fading now, her skin transparent
pale beneath her crimson curls.

Standing there beneath her heartbreak
weighted down by the love of man,
enchanted by her slowing heartbeat,
love lies bleeding in her hand.

Deep inside she holds a secret,
words that form a heavy cross
with brittle spine it's weight she carries
fearing judgement, feeling lost.

There's a mirror in the bedroom
at my broken self I stare
shaking now, I'll start erasing
till I am no longer there.

I want to shake you
Scream into your face
are you blind?
made of stone?
I want to guide your hand
give you a nudge
a hint....a clue
but it is forbidden.

You see, I've knocked on that door,
more than once
I've prayed to whoever, whatever, that she would open it, just enough to feel my love.
You only had to smile and the locks, once rusted, turned with ease.

I've clutched at straws, held her so tightly, dried her tears, praying that she'd see me....

She only sees you.
Just you.
In every raindrop.
In every storm.
In every leaf that's ever fallen.
In every rotation of this planet
You.

She never speaks your name,
She sings it
To a melody so haunting that it captures all that hear it
a symphony of sorrow
as a heart once laid to rest starts to beat, to believe....then to mourn.

She loves you, though she always swore it was a lie.
She loves you, though she promised not to.
She loves you, I see it, in every smile that lays tangled within her confusion, her tangible fear.

I can only love her from afar
I can only wonder at her strength
as she protects your heart at the expense of her own
as I wait to pick up her shattered pieces once more.