The dust from the sahara
golden as caramel
sugar burnt from the sun and
glazed by the shadow of temples and
jewels and camel's hooves
is in the sky
and the sky is grey here
and my lips are dry

wind beats on the glass
and it shatters my soul
to see in the rain
that with her, you are whole

i couldn't tell you where
but she was surfing on her own
salty water in her hair
and a ribcage full of stone

she was love
****** fire
now i’m haunted
by desire

summer sweat
the fever of the mustard seeds roasting
the walls of leaky churches
and a soldier's pride
she was the storm swell
the tattoo, she was in my skin
and i was in hers

while lights flashed around her
she was happy in every broken way

half celestial
on the wet-metalled gorge
sprayed with crushed golden
fractals of starry reflection

all glinting, rolling clouds
lashings of precious raindrops
into a hidden alcove,
a fissure in the stone

the rinds of the stars above
reflect thee in the salt foam
glistening with effervescence
at the sight of hidden gemstones within

i look out at the darkness
the cold, hollow sound of empty cars
trailing by like my breath past my lips
and think, oh god

i miss the stars

six months clean
sober from that driving knife
i have endured storms
i have endured hurricaines
without a thought of that ****** blade

- not today
and all for a raindrop
my sky comes falling

soleil, and I
came down to Italy for the summer
to see the boys with cigar colored skin
we stood in the balcony, all manner of cloths
and linens wrapped around us like an atmosphere of color
the sun drowned the flowers in her hot perfume
at the mouth of the balcony she bore holes into the stone
and we fell into the rapid streets
of bread and bicycles and more and more roses
seduced by her aroma, the olives proud little bullets
in a wooden bowl

sound like nicotine
water etching against the bathtub
blood soap and porcelain
ice in the cavities of my heart
eventualities we left far behind
with the endless supply of could-have
and some songs sound like you

and they taste like honeyed ***
thats been tasted too long
like brain freeze i can’t stop replaying
because this sound
nicotine and you
is more addictive
than a burning cigarette

strive to fit in no category
to be a fleeting moonbeam
that slips out of the hand
your differences make you unique
and your uniqueness
is your strength

you have a darkness in your eyes
fire concealed between the waves
the fold of the water around you
creasing your face and twisting your soul
skin now a membrane bones peeking
i could peel you into nothing but
crepuscular pain
i know you’re dying
your words settle like sea foam
murky in the room that we sleep
the ruffles in the sand
the cold silence in the air
you see faces in the wind
they will carry you to the sky

cold showers in a steamy room
this spotted vision looks like snow
heavy smoke staves off the moon
until she says its time to go

the ache parts
you come cold
as sleep and freezing kisses
still close
i have this every sometimes
filling me
suspiratio

was happiness
in every broken way

sometimes the dove
stands too heavy on the bar
and it shatters
grains falling to the ground
like fast and precious raindrops
to tempt the rats
on the ****-stained earth

we went down
with our cold steel tempests
swollen lips screaming
out aggressive effervescence
watching the tide
break the backs of those tendrils
gripping onto the coral heads
and twist them in the dark blue

accept egocentricity
you will never experience true empathy,
only your own narcissistic consciousness

reject imbalances
there is no such thing as happiness on the edge
the horse is only happy out of his stable under clear skies

write neatly,
you have a beautiful mind but will only be rewarded
for popular views

and **** 12
always

My dress clinging to my goosebumps
like cold rain on the mountains
as you took my hand,
and said
"let's go jump off the dock"
even though it was late at night
and I was scared of the sharks
and at the end of all of it...
i'm trying so hard to forget you

and booming caves
sing like discotheque under
the grey seagulls
an aroma like blood as the waves
shatter my spine
take me under

the waves etch the land
the sea near where my home is,
a silver seat in the solitary rock,
draws maps in the sand
with the plumes of her waves
sad and languid turmoil
embrace the shore; and pile it up again
the senseless, endless, shapes of nature
i lack the ***** to understand her

hands, cheeks, chin, nose
pressed yellow against the
warm glass
the sun has no obstacles
but the effervescence
of the bubbling mirage
cast in the grass
near the reflection
of your blushing toes

skin as clean as the ocean
salt water in your blood
bones would settle sweetly
among the singing sands

she would shatter like
a blue tile
that adorns mother's kitchen
looking over the sea

we watch the whales come in at dawn
and as the dusk draws near
the sailboats heave in with nets
shaking heavy with the flashing fish

and brown, wrinkled fishermen
who cut fast into the ****** fish with their knives
slaves to the sea
and sons of the tides

come blissful paen, i revere you gloriously
you who sing to the snakes and calm the rages
of disease and artless silence
you who's hair is golden and who
leads nymphian dances through the forests
with your heavenly lyre
and who's words are haloed truths
pallas apollon, my father
my muse and i am his in his creation
i dream of you as the sun blazes
and sunflowers smile
my lord divine

your shallow gaze
feasts on my soul
like flies in the murky
summer nights
that you held my hand
as we floated out
into the sea

more than anything
i want to study
the gentle intonation of your voice
the soft shapes
of your skin
the scents
and feeling of your hair
infallibly
i want to know you

i'm sorry that i missed your calls
i was scrubbing your name off all my walls
and you left my place with tears on your face
because you woke up to the sound of those weeping guns
this ended up being more than fun
but i never thought i would see you run
no i never thought you would see me run

one day we'll make it to the stars

there's something lonesome about you
the way your hair parts
how it splits
indecisive yet so
tumultuous and raging
my lonesome monsoon
made of fraying knots
for strangers to tie and untie
until you come together
or it all falls apart

cast a spell
from somber pluto
ensnare my heart with
orpheus' lullaby
and drown me
in lethe's
black sea

maybe i still miss you
maybe i could have fought harder
maybe i loved the way that you
said i was smarter
yeah you could have killed me
at least i’d be your martyr
but now i fall asleep
wishing you could have had her

don't settle with an aura,
when
we have atmospheres.

i
listened to 4 morant
on repeat
not
letting the xannies
hit the bottom
before i took some more
and facetimed
my friends
laughing
lets sneak out
graze our knees
on the griptape
of our new skateboards
and the tarmac
its 2 am
im coming
stand under the window
to my bedroom
second floor
laughing
and catch me
when i try to get down
ready?
im nervous
------------------------------



-----------------------­----------            oh no

---------------
----                  i let go



-------------------         ****

SMACK                                               the worst pain i've ever felt


no this wasn't supposed to happen


-------------------------

-----------                  ­           i landed on the tiles i feel broken


----------------


my back hurts
somethings wrong
****
-                                                        blood everywhere
-
-
****
-
-                                  i thought i was a god
-
i broke it
-
-                                                           i can't feel my arm
-
my back's broken where are my friends
-                                                        ­                       they were never here
**** help help help
they can't hear me
-
-
mum? dad? they'll be so mad
-
-                                                         what do i do
what if i die
what if i never walk again
----

its blurry
call an ambulance
-----                        you're not supposed to move

WHY CAN'T THEY HEAR ME

let's go surfing
gather the fading
remnants of our youth
there's a hurricane coming in
the grey waves are roused
pounded by the rain
the heron
with its white and jagged breast
and the three legged dog
laying in the dripping bushes
are calling you
to bear witness

look at us here,
desperate to make a new sound

but old money, new money makes the world go round

it will never change, and it will never rebound

i know that it will stay this way until we're grey in the ground

i was over the moon
you were over the sea

i **** myself
yearning for you
for a love unrequited
has as much chance of survival
as a barren seed
on the dark side of the moon

you have drowned my ****** fire
now i'm haunted by your desire
                      are you real?
                                  are you quiet?
                                              are you really "alright"?

I want the world to see my art
But only I can see my heart
Its easy to forget my soul and tongue
Are hidden miles apart

and the words swell
at the root of my throat
like blood and sweet sweet bile
they drip down my rippling skin
i want to tell you, dear
i see how your eyes turn grey when it rains
and how you touch your neck
when you are afraid


but i cannot speak
i keep those angry bees caged down
between my vertebrae and muscles and sinews
because you're just a friend
and that's all
you'll ever be

he is as blue as the rising crescent
warm as the phantoms marine
and cold as the rain, dripping over
my cupids bow i am refreshed

he is
mine

hold me
orpheus with pale skin
atop the white cliffs
where the foaming waves break
and ghosts cry
beneath the torpid sea

she casts
the lasso up
to the snarling
skies and ensnare it
with the burning rope
it's back breaks in
the wind
like a torn sail

it tangles
in the lunar cavity
descends effervescent stars
like honey dripping
down a string
into hidden
alcoves of the golden
cathedral

here, my love
see my arms heave
the bruises
that adorn me
like the jewels of
an african king
i have brought you
the moon

you are love
set me on fire
you have haunted me
with your desire

fingernails blackened from scraping in the moss
a soul of blood, dirt, grit and change,
tendrils of Fibonacci, curving ivy in our jewel-veins
lips that have been bitten and blow among reeds
deep in the forest where our feet touch the riverbed
and our heart thunders like the rain.

i think i left myself behind

I see every
god I ever prayed to